abusive bf?

Question

ok so im 17 and my bf is 19, hes really controlling, we have been together for 5 years, he cheated on me 3 years ago and now he has a 2 year old son who has been living with us since he was 3 months ((his mother left him at our house and never came bac 4 him)) well i have raised his son as if he is my child, but he doesnt take care of his own kid, well now im pg by him. hes physically abusive and he is verbaly abusive. well if i leave him im afraid if i leave i cant take angel with me (( angel is his son )) im not allowed to leave the house unless im going to class (college courses, i graduated highschool last year) and he always tells his friends wat i look like naked and its really humiliating he tells me im fat (im not im 5'5 and im 132lbs) but im scared that he will hurt me now cuz im pg, he wanted me pg tho, i havent told him and im really scared im gonna get hurt even worse, and if i left could i get custody of angel, he thinks im his mommy?

dont wanna be with emilio anymore, im scared of him. the first time he hit me was when angel was 5months and i haddnt made dinner yet cuz i was giving angel a bath ( i was 15 ) the last time he hit me was yesterday, he said it was cuz i wasnt behaving like i should because i was walking around MY house with just a t-shirt and panties on. i dont no wat to do with this situation, im emancipated from my parents, and i dont speak with them. i really wanna get out and have angel with me, we live in a really nice neighborhood in miami and hes nice infront of other people but when we get home hes a control freak, and i think he is still cheatin on me cuz he doesnt come home till like 3 or 4 in the morning. so how could i get away from him? could i beat him over the head with a brick and take angel with me?

look here chef, im not makin this up, i am leaving but i want to take angel with me

could i beat him with a brick or somethin even if he didnt hit me 2day??

my dad is dead, my mom was is an alcoholic, i tried to get her help but she wouldnt help herself, so i left

i would have left earlier but angel got sick and i gotta take care of him

Answer 1

A) don't tell him you are pregnant-he'll only think he has more control over you!
B) Legally you have no right to Angel, your not his parent or a relative, you could file for legal guardianship-but you don't have time. If you leave with Angel he can press charges against for kidnapping, and that'll only make you look worse.
C) you have to leave ASAP!!! he is an abuser and will not stop, he won't change for this new baby and there's nothing you can do!
D)Set up a record for him, anytime he hits you and leave a mark file charges, so at least the police can see he has a record of abuse etc.
E)Find someone you can talk to-that can help you because you CANNOT do this alone, I pray that you and Angel and your unborn child get out safely.

Answer 2

Oh my goodness! Your story breaks my heart. ♥☺

The first thing you need to do is to see a lawyer. I don't know what kind of access you have to legal resources but there must be some kind of legal aid available to you. I am assuming you don't have much money since you are so young. Check with your school counsellors to see what kind of advice they can give you. You first of all need to establish custody and child support for the baby you are pregnant with. Then you can look at what your legal options are for custody of Angel.

You must be very careful right now not to let him find out what you're up to. Contact a women's abuse centre to find out what your options are for leaving this pig you are with. He is no man, that's for sure.

Even if you can't take Angel with you, you MUST get away yourself. Angel will likely be put into foster care or be taken away from Emilio. Even that is better than the two of you staying and being abused.

But really, be careful because the most dangerous time for a woman is not when she's in the relationship, but after she chooses to end it. Abusers often become enraged and obsessive and it is that time which is the most dangerous for a woman leaving the situation. Have a safe place to go where he can in no way access you. Change your route to school and your schedule if at all possible so that he can't easily find you.

Good luck honey! There are resources out there for you. You will need to be strong. I'm praying for you.

Answer 3

The best thing to do would be to contact a representative from child services first since this behavior is detrimental to his wellbeing Hypothetically give them your situation because you might not have any legal rights when it comes to Angel. If you don't have any legal rights I would allow them to place him into foster care but make sure you are allowed to see him. Then leave your boyfriend, don't tell him where you are going. Go to the police and press charges against him. Stay out of his radar for a while. Leave as soon as possible because next time he might injure your baby.

I wish you the best of luck and hope everything ends up okay.

Answer 4

They will not give custody to a 17 year old girl and that should be the least of your worries right now. If you stay then you might end up dead if you don't have the right thing fixed to eat or you didn't clean something right. If i were you i would run to my parents when he is gone or asleep and take angel with you. Social services will place the child somewhere's safe.
If you stay then it is you funeral plus he will start hitting on angel and your kid before too long.
I hope you get help.

Answer 5

All I have to say is oh my god I feel sooooooo sorry for you but its gona hurt me to say this is that when he first hit you why didn’t you leave him sweetie I mean I don’t know how you feel but my mom use to go threw the same thing when me and my sis was little and she was so scared of my dad that she thought he was going to kill her but the only way she got out of it was my father passed away and my mom was free but in your case wanting to leave with angel you cant because your not his mother and if you were to take of with him your BF can say you kidnapped him and you will be in a heap of trouble were is your family or friends someone you can live with just to get away from him man you are so young gosh your even making me stress out on what to tell you because I hate men that are that way with their girlfriends and most likely one of his reason in keeping is because you take care of his son and he don’t want to lose that opportunity your giving him just go to school and never return to his house and when don’t return call the cops and tell them about him that’s really all I can say here im so sorry I just wish things like this wouldn’t happen at all and to anyone but good luck and hope you find a way if you like email me at [e-mail] if your need a online friend dont know how much that will help but hey so sorry girl you have to go threw this

Answer 6

Typically when you go to the doctor's office, which you should be because you're pregnant, there's little domestic abuse cards in the bathroom that you can get and keep privately. Then call when he's not around and get help. Don't be an idiot. Do it for the kids. When they get older it will be them who he hits. Or imagine the emotional abuse they both will suffer when they see him hit you. These things really do affect a child's behavior later on in life. Especially they're social skills.

Answer 7

You need to speak out!! please do it before things get worse! tell someone that you can trust & who is willing to take you in. file a police report that way they have proof of how your being treated. just in case he hurts you even more they can arrest him. i really hope you take this advice! there are too many young girls dying or being hurt. you have a voice so use it & speak it to the right people. dont say anything else to your bf that you know would piss him off.... try to stay on his good side but at the same time follow through with the police.

Answer 8

ok...that butterfly chick is wrong ...the state WILL give you custody IF you can prove that he is abusive & doesnt take care of his own child because your EMANCIPATED which legally makes you an adult & if his parents or the girl/her parents dont try to fight for custody...the only thing that would stop them from giving you custody is if you couldnt take care of him, i.e. not having a job or a place to live...i recommend NOT hurting him in anyway because if you truly want to take care of that child then that would look bad on your part unless he starts to abuse you...then you can go ahead & fight back...anyways hopefully this helps a little bit

Answer 9

Find a womens shelter, get their advice contact them from school. Get DHS or Child services involved- its drastic but he sounds dangerous. Those agencies take anonymous calls. You could just pack up and run while he's out partying, the help is out there for the abused yopu just have to trust it and take it.

Answer 10

Girl are you still there???? WHY?? You had so very many answers with this same question a couple of days ago.....PLEASE READ THEM!! Or else stay there and eventually end up DEAD!
Quit asking and start showing some action!! LEAVE HIS *** BEFORE HE KILLS YOU & YOUR UNBORN CHILD!!!

I dont think you want to leave him and are seeking attention...cause with all the answers you got last time, you would think you would realize that you are in VERY SERIOUS DANGER!!!