Your husbands if you were "unsatisfied" or "unhappy" if you knew that you were not going to get custody of your children, were going to have to pay child support, and were going to be every other weekend or once a month moms?
No bull about kids needing their moms blah blah blah blah...that's a load of crap. Simple question...would you leave?
2007-02-06 10:17:22 · 16 answers · asked by digdowndeepnseattle 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would never forsake my children -- so the threat of not seeing them or only seeing them on weekends etc would be enough to keep me in my marriage for as long as I could possibly take it. I'm sure at some point it may not be possible for my own sanity and would be FORCED to leave. (but I'm taking my kids!!)
I'm not sure what you are getting at, but I think I have a hunch. I would like to add that the relationship between "mother and child" is quite different and would be like comparing apples and oranges. Not saying that fathers are not needed, but the role they provide is much, much different from the mothers. Biologically we are designed and wired differently. I am not disputing that there are some fathers who would provide better care for their children then the mother -- there are always exceptions to the rule.
2007-02-06 20:16:48 · answer #1 · answered by gg55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a verrrrrrrry tough question. I myself being a mother would honestly have to think about what is better for the children and their ages. This question is really general. I mean is the environment hostile...fighting, cussing. There are many reasons why a women would leave and with the risk of losing their children. Now if it is completely to the mental detriment of the women's well being then leaving could be a good thing for both her and the kids because if she is truly unhappy then she is not being the best mom she can be to this children. The physical presence does not make one a good mother, it is the time and devotion one gives when one is with their children. So if I had to leave and risk paying child support and being a weekend mom for my mental and physical well being and happiness I would because on those weekends I'm sure I would give myself a lot more to those children then wondering through an unhappy loveless marriage .
2007-02-06 18:28:56 · answer #2 · answered by devilishdame1974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My children were old enough to decide where they want to be, and when I moved away, they wanted to go stay with Dad. I let them. I pay a hefty sum of child support like any man would. I only get my kids in summers, vacations, etc, and I HATE it, but I decided their happiness would come before my own. The moral of my story is, been there, done that...and yes....if you're really not happy, sometimes you just have to leave. You have to. You know that your feelings will never change, and all the compromise in the world doesn't seem to work. I looked at him one day and said, "Let's be real. I'm not happy. You're not happy. I believe this is a done deal." And then the fat lady sang.
It was an "amicable" divorce. Today, 8 years later, we get along better than we ever did married. (and the new wife is just a peach too.)
2007-02-06 18:24:37 · answer #3 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a load of crap. Kids need their mothers and courts will give mothers custody unless there is abuse or neglect. They almost ALWAYS do. I your situation, I would not risk loosing my children just because I was unhappy. If you were in danger you should leave, but TAKE THEM because they would be in danger too. Honestly, you sound like you are dissatisfied with your life in general and just want to get away. Think about what that would do to your children. I have worked with children for 15 years and the ones abandoned by their mothers have MANY more problems than the ones that are abandoned by their fathers. It is much worse. Kids need their moms and it is not a load of crap and it really makes me concerned for your children to read this.
2007-02-06 18:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by Helen T 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it would depend on the "husband" situation if it is an abusive relationship (physical or emotional) then yes I would leave and I wouldnt accept the Weekend mom no costody crap.
If the situation is liveable just needs work to get the "happy" back I would stay and try to work things out go to couples therapy or something.
and yes the kids are worth anything BUT no they dont deserve to live in a home where mom and dad fight all the time. kids do need mom and they do need dad BUT they dont always need MOM & DAD living together. some times it takes them being apart to be good moms and dads!
2007-02-06 18:26:02 · answer #5 · answered by radins06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know this may hurt but u asked........
some mothers arent deserving of being with the kids. my brother in law is going thru a similar thing and his soon to be ex wants him to be a weekend dad but yet she wants to do the barhopping scene she didnt get while she was younger( wahwahwah) and the sad part is that both of the children have different dads. thats says something on her part.... but what im trying to say is leave your not doing your kids any good if this is how ur going to handle a tough situation.
sorry but like i said u asked.
2007-02-06 18:38:09 · answer #6 · answered by mommie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a load of crap at all. Who says you deserve to be happier than your kids hey? Only liberal trash thinks that way. Your kids won't understand that mommy needs space to find herself...that's the real CRAP. Be a grown-up and face your responsibilities!
Don't believe people who say kids are only happy when mom is happy so kids will say sure mom, you go away and be happy and that will make us happy! That is such liberal crap.
2007-02-06 18:22:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are so unhappy, pack up and run. Children need a fun loving parent and a nice comfortable home. I myself would never leave my children they mean the world to me, but not all women are fit to be moms. Some women find it to be difficult task, or just were ready for motherhood. Then there those that only think of themselves.
In my life my children come first, me next, then my spouse..
Good luck in your new life, just don't forget to send your monthly child support, it is for the kids anyway that the one good thing you could do.
2007-02-06 18:25:37 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. Angel.. 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Mmmmm i wouldn't leave..i'd ask the guy to move away! kids need their mom, but if a mom wanna leave them...well...she doesn't deserve to be a mom then.
Love between a mom&child is the most beautiful thing, and it comes natural...so if that woman doesn't feel like that...must be an animal then...shuuu shuuu shuuu go away! shuu shuuu shuuuu sometimes you just gotta shuu shuu shuuu those type of creatures. TC of ur kids, need love and they'll be ok with that only need acomplished.
Good luck!
2007-02-06 18:22:47 · answer #9 · answered by arielxs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question is will you be happy? if you're in a realationship that is unsatisfying or unhappy then your kids will definately know on some level if they haven't said so already. will it be hard? yes. but you must remember that you need to teach your kids that its very imortant to be happy. by doing that your realationship with your kids will be stronger and so will you.
so to answer your question yes i would leave. ive been there. i hope this helps. good luck! god bless!
2007-02-06 18:59:43 · answer #10 · answered by jluke4u 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋