What do I do?
2007-02-06 10:14:10 · 14 answers · asked by Rob D 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, she filed for divorce a couple of months ago, but took a couple of weeks to move out. I thought it was just because of money, but she wants to hang out quite often. Sometimes with our daughters, but often just with me. But she won't have any discussion of reconciling.
2007-02-06 10:23:17 · update #1
Boy, "puzzled," I guess your pseudonym says it all.
2007-02-06 10:26:24 · update #2
i truly think you guys need to sit down and really get a understanding of whats happen here i am looking at confusion goin on in the marriage and you guys still love one another very much take some time and deal with whats on hand before you both lose out on much more in store with each other i pray that god prefect will be done in your life
2007-02-06 10:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by BROKEN AND BEAUTFUL 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I am sorry. Twenty years is a long time and it must hurt to have her suddenly leave. Probably, however, she has been thinking about it for some time. Maybe she has been unhappy, maybe she wants something different for her life, maybe she just wants to feel like she can start over and have some new things in her life even at this stage. Maybe she doesn't even really know what she wants - she only knows that she doesn't want things to continue the way that they were. It doesn't mean she stopped loving you all of the sudden. It could be much more about her and her needs and dreams than it is about you or anything you did. Give her time and space. Maybe the two of you can develop an even closer relationship if she finds out what she needs to make her happy.
Good luck.
2007-02-06 15:31:10 · answer #2 · answered by CV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is emotional and then there is practical. I can only tell you the practical side.
If you are not at fault, make sure you don't leave the house and let her leave instead. Don't get physically violent, or she will call the police on you and you'll be forced out of the house and need supervision to visit your kids. Seems that this happens a lot. Protect your finance. It is also common that one spouse draws down the bank savings before taking off and it's hard to trace because it is still common property. I am not advocating for you to be unfair to your wife but protect yourself from surprises. When the inevitable happens, call all the financial institutions to declare you are no longer responsible for her credit cards, loans, cars, etc. She will take 1/2 of what you have, no doubt about that. But let it be done fairly by lawyers at the negotiable table.
2007-02-06 10:27:58 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let us review. The life is about 60 years long. First twenty she had to suffer the desires and beliefs of her parents. Second 20 she had to suffer the desires and beliefs of family. Perhaps for the third and final 20 she only desires to live a free life, without have to fulfill others needs and desires. Perhaps you should be her friend and wish her well.
2007-02-06 10:39:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't want to.she wants you to get off your butt &stop her by changing what ever she has been griping about for the last year or before she stopped talking.Look at it from her perpective are you supportive of her desires?Her needs?She thinks you don't love her anymore can you say romance,spark,making love to her so she enjoys it too? After 20 years let her know you will do whatever it takes to make it right. Ask,listen,understand.Get the books "Women are from Mars men are from venus"or "Love languages".LOVE HER
2007-02-06 10:30:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After twenty years love doesn't just end, but she has fears of starting over when all she really wants is a somewhat open marriage....Times have changed and she want to experiment with the trend.
2007-02-06 10:25:43 · answer #6 · answered by Prudent World 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels guilty about leaving and perhaps the reason why she feels the need to leave. Go to a Christian marriage Counselor as soon as possible.
2007-02-06 10:20:44 · answer #7 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk with her and ask her what she really wants. If she really wants out then let her go and dont hold on. If she is having doubts then seek marriage counseling and help for you and for this marriage.
2007-02-06 10:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to go to couseling, but do not pay for her. This will let you know if she really wants to go to counseling or not. If she isn't willing to pay for herself, she doesn't want to go. If you offer to pay for it, she will go, as she will not want to look like she didn't try to work it out. Likely, you will be wasting your money on the counseling.
If it doesn't work, let her go. Move on and be happy.
2007-02-06 10:25:36 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask if she will go to weekly counselling with you. Tell her you will pay and you will agree to the divorce if it doesn't work out.
2007-02-06 10:19:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋