cheated on husband of 26 years?

Question

my husband and i hv been together for 26 yrs i cheated on him but i didnt hv intercourse with him , he says he cant get it out of his head what i did any advice on what i can do. we hv 2 boys 16 and 21 i dont want a divorce and he keeps asking me y i did it i dont know help me........

Answer 1

Its all in the past. According to women on this forum, the past doesn't matter. So its A OK!

Your husband needs to get over it.

Answer 2

Well i was in the same boat as your husband a few years ago, my girlfriend who I loved very much went out 1 night and cheated. According to her it was a kiss but I will never know. Now I can understand that your husband cant forget it because once trust has been broken its very very hard to get back cus the 1 person you love has betrayed you so in your husbands mind hes gonna be thinking things all the time which is understandable.My x girlfriends excuse was she was drunk but the truth is if you look hard enough you will find a reason or excuse and although I dont know your excuse I believe that if you truely love and care about someone you dont cheat on them so maybe you dont love and care about him that much and if you dont then its no good being with him because it would not be fair on either of you. Hopefully your husband can forget about it in time but if he cant then you have to respect that, remember you cheated so its your own fault.

Answer 3

You made a mistake. It happens. Like all of life's mistakes, this one has consequences. Your consequences are set by your husband.

He wants to know why you did it, then tell him! And "I don't know" isn't an answer in this case. Were you high? Drunk? Lonely? Was he attractive? Aggressive? Intimidating? There has to be a reason why you did what you did. I didn't say it has to be a good reason, but a reason. We all do stupid things for stupid reasons.

If you don't want a divorce, your best bet is to throw your pride on the alter. Be willing to do whatever he needs, no matter how much it hurts or costs emotionally. Tell him, plain and simple, you're at his mercy emotionally and nothing is off limits. He might do some really stupid things. If he does, it's his turn, you don't get to judge! Or he might just want answers and assurances. Give them. Every promise has to come with proof, your reliablity is shot. If he says he wants you not to talk to someone online, start the logging system on whatever chat software you use and give him access to the logs so he can see who you're talking with and about. Try to make your life 100% transperent.

Answer 4

Girlfriend u really messed up. My husband cheated on me, and i still haven't gotten over it.
Your husband is feeling so detrayed. After 26yrs he thinking what else he don't know about. I left me husband, and I don't think I never forgave him. He let SEX destroyed our bond. SORRY just wasn't cutting it. You say you don't want a divorce, but did u consider that fact for when your husband found out? cheating=Divorce. You all sing the same song"I don't know why" written by cheaters. You know y, and u owe him the truth. It can't hurt no more than him knowing u was with another man/stranger. I don't mean to sound so harsh, but u had time to think,while u was undressing. You made ur choose now deal with it. And what great example mom. On the other hand they say people make mistakes.

Answer 5

You will have to search inside yourself, there IS a reason you cheated, you have to be honest with yourself. Even if it was for sexual excitement, a mid life crisis,to feel loved, you were drunk, whatever. He needs an answer and you need to give him one. If you want to save your marriage, You will have to earn his trust back, it may take years. Offer to go to a marriage counselor whether he wants to or not, even if you have to go yourself. Show him you are comitted. But, if you are unhappy, do NOT stay in a marriage for your children. You will make youreslf AND them unhappy. One last thing, you made a mistake, you are human, now you have to work to rebuild, beating yourself up on a daily basis won't help. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Ask him, if in the 26 years of marriage if he had ever cheated?
Then ask him in those 26 years how many women had preposition him?
Then tell him how many men had prepositioned you and that you gave in that one time....Was it once though?
If you didn't have intercouse though, what did you do?...Maybe that's why he can't get it out of his head. It is not good to give away a man's head.

Answer 7

When did the cheating occur?? And don't try that Prez Clinton thing ok, it does not work, you got shagged and loved it and for some crazy reason you confessed to your husband, or he found out something?? Your husband will just have to get over it and move on, or it will eat him alive, so help him make this choice, because if not, you will be hearing about this cheating forever??

Answer 8

If you didn't have intercourse this is bad but not as bad. He is hurt by what you did. You may need to talk to marriage counselor and see if you can get past this. If he can't that would be sad to ruin your marriage after all of those years. People make mistakes hopefully he will give you another chance.

Answer 9

You need to ask him stupid. For starters try blaming yourself (you try to shed responsibilety with the 26-years of fbeing faithful and you didn't have intercourse) Woopi! That's what I'd want to here from a cheating spouse.

I think if I were in your shoes it would be what ever you want for a good year to make up for my own selfish behavior. And I wouldn't make excuses.

Answer 10

In 26 years you have only been unfaithful once and no sex was involved. If this is true your hubby need to get over it.