Me and my bf have been together for over 4 yrs now and he hasnt asked me to marry him yet. Our anniversary was on 1/4/07 for 4 years. I got no presents or even a letter or card. I wasnt expecting a gift but atleast an anknowledgement. I have asked him a couple of times when will we get married and he has the same sorry excuse that he doesnt have the money for a ring. i dont even care about the ring. I just want to be with him forever and i dont know what to do. Any opinions or advice?
2007-02-06 09:57:43 · 9 answers · asked by PrinCipeSSa ItaLiAnA 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
great answers you guys! i wish i could mark them all as best answers bu t keep em coming!thanks
2007-02-06 10:24:12 · update #1
First and foremost to clear the air of unanswered questions, How old are you both?
If you say 24 or under, don't rush things.
Women mature faster then men.
If you truely love him, and are willing to do anything for him, then waiting should be one of those things.
Some guys are not sentimental types, i.e first date anniversaries.
usually it's us women who ponder and dwell way too much on the little things, so although it may have hurt you that he "forgot" your "anniversary" technically you are wrong, there is no marriage yet he stays committed to you, that in itself should speak a million times what "happy 4th date anniversary" will give you for a moment.
There are years to enjoy together as a couple, and many more as husband and wife and then even more delight in parenting.
Take it in strides, enjoy the moments you charish together now and give yourself (and him) the time to enjoy the moment of suprise when you both are ready to farther your relationship.
forever doesn't come with "only if's"
love takes time
when you see him tonight,
remind him how much he truely means to you,...
and remind yourself you love him that much not to need giving alternatives.
2007-02-06 10:19:23 · answer #1 · answered by arcticraven77 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like my old relationship. Me and my girl were together for 5 years, she really started to get anxious about marriage. I would always turn the other way or avoid it. Here is the truth. I was getting laid anytime I wanted so there wasn't any reason for me to get married. Sex is a big thing, if you're giving it to him, he might not feel a need to get married, there's no drive. Does he have a career going? that will say a lot. If he doesn't then he probably isn't thinking about kids, which is another reason he wouldn't want to get married. Stop having sex with him and break up, see how he takes it. I wanted to get back together and marry her but she was done, you have to give him some options.
2007-02-06 18:07:59 · answer #2 · answered by yaabro 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know someone who was in the relationship for 5 years before getting engaged. Then they were engaged for about 3 years before getting married. So there are people out there who take longer.
I have been with my guy for 3 years (yesterday!). I didn't get anything sparkley for my finger, but he did make me dinner.
Ask your guy if the ring is the only thing holding him back. If you are lucky and that is the only reason, then explain how you feel about it to him. If it's not the only reason...Yahoo! Personals aren't too bad.
Best of luck, either way.
2007-02-06 18:15:02 · answer #3 · answered by V 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anniversaries are for married people. Tell him you are sick of wasting your time and take off. If he wants you, he'll come back after you. My mom always said "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" (Not meaning that in a mean way at all!) but essentially he's getting all the benefits of being married without the actual committment. Let him miss you for awhile and see what happens.
2007-02-06 18:01:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to leave. If he isn't even sensative enough to acknowledge the date, he doesn't care about your feelings. It wouldn't get any better if he finally married you, he wouldn't acknowledge that anniversary either.
Women need men like a fish need a bicycle. There are lots of fish in the sea. Become self sufficient and buy yourself a ring to signify your commitment to yourself!!
2007-02-06 18:07:26 · answer #5 · answered by catlike curiosity 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you really already know the answer By his ignoring your anniversary. He's giving you excuses because he doesn't want to let go, but he really doesn't want to be married. If you have the courage you would be better off to break off this relationship because there is somebody else out there who would appreciate you far more than what you are getting.
2007-02-06 18:01:58 · answer #6 · answered by Cherokee Billie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just said it - you want to be with him forever? Then be with him forever. A wedding is just a ceremony, you don't have to be married to be together forever. If you want more than he is giving you then let him know - then it is your decision to stay or go. Don't try to force anything - it will only lead to resentment in the future. Good luck and I hope you take this advice!
2007-02-06 18:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by Kitt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my advice is dump him and find someone who loves u cause honey he doesnt
2007-02-06 18:09:07 · answer #8 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
whatever you do, don't threaten him about leaving if he doesn't commit unless you are really going to do so.
2007-02-06 18:09:22 · answer #9 · answered by 33139 friend 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋