I'm 18 and hes almost 20. hes already at college, and i'm going to be at the same one next year and we might be living together.
weve dated for over 5 years and love eachother very much
we wouldn't get married until he at least has graduated and has a job (about 3 years), but i just feel i'm ready and want a long engagement anyways. i don't doubt this at all, but he does a bit just cause hes a "poor college student" and doesnt have money to buy me an extravagant ring, but i dont need one anyways. he also has told me hes not sure if hes ready for such a commitment, but at the same time says he thinks about/wants us getting married and starting a family...but then why not get engaged?
I feel this is a good idea, but my boyfriend isn't sure.
what is your opinion?/why does he say hes not sure if he is ready, yet wants to get married and have a family in a few years anyway...is there anyway to change his mind without forcing the issue? i dont want to drive him away.
2007-02-06 09:50:17 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
let things go as they are, if it happens it does, if it doesn' it doesnt.
maybe he is saying this b/c it is true, and/or he wants you to think that it won't happen right away, and surprise you
2007-02-06 09:54:05 · answer #1 · answered by sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say, I don't think you should get engaged yet. There are a lot of factors to that, mostly that u have not experienced life by yourself or with anyone else but him since u were 13. Sounds like he is getting a taste of a life he hasn't seen yet, so though he may some day want to settle down, I think he's trying to tell you that maybe u should both be friends for now and see where things lead a few years down the road.
You will probably feel the same way when u get to college also.
If you really cared for him you'd let that happen, and if it's meant to be it will be.
Give yourselves some room to experience life as an individual before promising your forevers to each other. You'll both be the better for it.
2007-02-06 18:03:41 · answer #2 · answered by hisladytish 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a big commitment. Talk to him seriously...get a ring that is not expensive. I am almost 20, I have been engaged for 2 full years. We have been together since we were 15, and we also are both in college (completing our 2nd year) and want to wait until 3 years (college plus one year to save)...so we will be engaged for a good 5-6 years. We more want children then a wedding, so it all depends on him and you. Talk to him...if he is not ready-dont force it.
2007-02-06 18:02:53 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do me a favor and just wait, don't rush into anything. I know it's exciting and thrilling but you are young. I wish I had learned this lesson when I was your age but ......... youth is fleeting. Once it is gone, it is gone and can't ever be recaptured. So just concentrate on enjoy being young, free, independent and enjoy life. Look at it this way -- you just spent 18yrs living with your parents, making decisons that were guided by them, living by their rules etc. Being married is very similar. Instead of doing what is expected by your parents, you are now having to live your life and make decisions with your husbands expectations, needs and wants in mind. My point is don't rush into marriage, which also means don't rush into an engagement.
Be young, enjoy your college years -- enjoy your freedom while you can. This is the only time in your life that you are truly free, you will have plenty of time to live under someone elses thumb later!!
2007-02-07 04:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by gg55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting engaged is fine at 18 but wait for a year or so before marrying. He and you both probably still need time to mature and grow up some before being ready to marry.
2007-02-06 17:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for a while. You guys are still young. Ask him to tell you when he's ready. Getting married is a terribly big commitment. After a few years, if he truly loves you, he'll say yes.
2007-02-06 18:00:48 · answer #6 · answered by Judy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not sure he is ready, then do not get engaged. Maybe he wants to wait until he finishes college, which is not a bad idea, but then if he still wants to wait, give it up and look for somebody else.
2007-02-06 17:55:06 · answer #7 · answered by supertop 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait until you both graduate so that you can both support each other and so that you dont rush into things too fast. I know that you dated for five years but you should still wait until you're at least 22 or 23.
2007-02-06 17:55:14 · answer #8 · answered by Mariniac 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have seven years of window shopping and test drives before buying the car, sweetie. You don't want to get off the lot fast only to find you have a lemon.
2007-02-06 21:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your too young to get married enjoy being single for a few year's or you both might feel trapped don't rush your boyfriend thats what cause lot of divorces getting married too young and not dating other people injoy being a teen ager
2007-02-06 18:03:44 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes not ready and wondering how long will you wait. i really tink this would be good to just date and forget him. hes already notwanting to mbe married at lest to you and that is how you should view it. get on and find someone who is foryou.
2007-02-10 02:59:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋