My friends 9 yr son recently told me that his mother had thrown him round the kitchen for a slight misdemeanor (he had pulled some old christmas crackers). He was very upset at the time and asked me not to tell his mum I knew. I asked her why he had seemed upset when I saw him and she was very evasive, saying it was because he was constipated. I have seen her behaviour toward her son and she can be quite nasty to him.
anyway, I since spoken to the son and he says it happens regularly and he has told his dad and teachers at school. I am really worried as she also has 2 other very young son, both under 2 yrs. She is also very paranoid and believes someone is breaking into her house and moving/stealing things.
My son goes to the same school as her son, and I know that the headteacher is concerned about her behaviour, so should I tell the head what the son has said??
2007-02-06 09:49:03 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This is a difficult one. What's most important to you - your friendship or the safety of the children?
If it's the kids' safety then you need to report this to the NSPCC or other authorities such as the headteacher. Have you spoken to his dad about it?
As she is paranoid (you think) it could be that she is suffering from mental illness and really ought to see a doctor. Is she depressed/stressed? You could try helping her along these lines and support her getting professional help for her anger/mood difficulties.
good luck
2007-02-06 09:55:32 · answer #1 · answered by Star 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Behaviour like this should be reported. As others have posted you can be annon. However, I am very confused since the dad knows and he hasn't done something about it. Also that teachers know, including the head teacher and nothing has been done. Not doubting you and admire you for your genuine concern but there could be something strange going on here. The mother may already be undergoing treatment and the situation is being closely monitored at present. Also there could be a problem with the 9 yr old, he could be so convincing but not telling the truth for various reasons as in attention seeking or mentally ill. Is the father approachable could you speak with him first? Don't think the teachers are worth having a word with as naturally they cannot pass any confidential information about a pupil to you.
2007-02-07 06:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have a word with the headteacher. Although I dont think its very professional that the head has made it aware that she/he has concerns about this mother already. I think you should say something on the lines of "It may be something or nothing but....and then explain what the son said". Most schools should have great links with health visitors and social services who should be able to assist. This lady sounds poorly and needs support
2007-02-06 09:57:59 · answer #3 · answered by janeypixie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is so hard as you are friends with her but you need to listen to her son when he speaks to you and maybe have a word with the headteacher if you trust her enough not to put you in it. If the boy has bruisers or anything like that then their are better grounds really, if you know what i mean. Its awful hearing this about children and I would ring the social services as you dont have to give your name to them.
Good luck and I hope you sort this out for the children. People never really know what happens behind closed doors.
2007-02-06 19:39:34 · answer #4 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely tell the autrhorities, or at least try do something about it. The kid came to you for help so you should not do as if you didn't hear anything. anyway your friend has a problem and she seems to know it as she lied about her son being upset. She doesn't sharethis problem she has with you, but her son did.
So help him. Even if it means losing her.
2007-02-06 18:38:04 · answer #5 · answered by toupou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, it could save a life, im not saying she wants to badly hurt her children but accidents do happen, sounds as if she's not coping very well, if you do go to some1 with this she will get the help and support she needs. it's going to be v hard for you though, do you have support behind you? im in the exact same predicament just now with a close friend, only we're at crisis point, if you feel you need an ear, my e-mail is available. good luck to you and your friend x
2007-02-10 02:52:07 · answer #6 · answered by shell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When something involves a child being physically abused then yes you should tell he is only 9 and can speak to you, the younger ones can't so yes for their safety do talk to the head teacher.
2007-02-06 09:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by Bernie c 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell social services, suspected abuse is just as important it may be true they can look into it straight away-discretely. Instead of going to the headteacher it would just be gossip and not actual help. Definately report it.
2007-02-07 07:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by truth_and_time_tells_all 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should......for the sake of the children think about it. What would happen if you didnt? it could go on for a long time and ruin their childhood believe me I know. Make sure you have proof not just your word against someone elses. Good luck
2007-02-06 09:57:03 · answer #9 · answered by Lizzylovestodance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very tricky, tread carefully here.
You'll probably have to start with just talking to the mum and find out whats going on for her.
If the shoe was on the other foot, what you you want done for you?
2007-02-06 09:56:18 · answer #10 · answered by Roma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋