How do I get over the recent death of my wife,while I`m 33yrs of age and two young kids?

Answer 1

i'm so sorry to hear that..unfortunately this will differ for everyone but everyday u have to just get up and show the kids ur still there and u still love them

Answer 2

Hi John
I am so sorry for both you and your two children to of lost your wife at such a young age is heartbreaking. I don't know if anyone ever gets over losing a loved one, are you getting any support or practical help at the moment? this is a time when either friends or family should step in to help in whatever way they can you need to grieve for your wife and remember so do your children I don't know what ages they are but children show emotions in different ways playing happily one minute seemingly without a care in the world next total confusion as to what is going on. I am so deeply sorry for you and the pain you must be feeling. The age old saying that time heals well it will certainly lessen the raw pain that you must be feeling at the moment, just take it one step at a time and maybe you'll find in time you can think of all the happy times you had together and remember her with love after all she will live on in your two young children. Talk about her often and when you have come through this dark time the sun will shine again for you. God bless you and help you through this time your in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you can find your inner strength. lol brenda.

Answer 3

Man, I am really sorry for your loss. I've been married 26 years and I don't know what I'd do if my wife died. The only thing I can for sure tell you is you have 2 beautiful kids who every time you look at them you will see your wife. You will see her in their mannerisms, eyes, character and actions every day. So, I guess what I'm saying is she is still with you through your 2 children. God Bless you and I wish only the best for you. The pain you feel now will slowly recede, but will always be with you as a reminder of how much you loved her. Peace.

Answer 4

I am so very sorry for your loss. You won't get over it, but in time you will learn to live with it. At least you have your children and right now they will need you as much as you need them. Grieving is a natural human process that we all go through in different ways. It can help some people if they have a better understanding of the process. You might find this site useful to visit

www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk

It gives some helpful advice on coping with all aspects of grief. You need a strong support network of friends and family around you right now but it also helps to speak to someone unconnected. I do hope you will soon be able to see the sunshine of happy memories of your wife soon. God Bless.

Answer 5

oh so sad i lost my sister at the age of 8 i know the feeling of losing somone very close
for your kids don't put on a brave face and act like nothing has changed you know it and they know it that things have changed and will be different the best way to help heal is to talk to your kids about thier mom put pictures around the house keep her memory alive
talk with them talk about all the good and the bad times they had with thier mom
when my sister died we joined a support group called the ove support groups can be really helpful

thats for your kids for you it is alright to cry and let ur emotions go, talk with her family get close to them cause who knew her better then them also when peope tell you "you'll get over it" ignore them because you never get over it. THis might sound bad but go see a Shrink they do help the best thing that you can do for u is keep her alive in your heart and in your soul and don't take anything for granted as u have already have experienced live each day to the fulliest youu can and appericate everything

Answer 6

I am very very sorry to read this.
Grieving a spouse is one of the most stressful thing that can happen in life.
Having young children can make the situation even more difficult.
They are very good books on grieving, if books are your cup of tea.
How old are the children?
You will get over this, there is no doubt. But you need to accept that it takes time.
The children keep your wife "alive" in some ways, in a positive sense. So you need to cherish that and make the children aware of it. Avoid hiding things to the children. Of course, they want to see you strong, but on the other side it is important they know that losing your wife is painful to you. Keeping up "for the children" may keep you going. Talk to them about their mum, because she is part of their life and they need to construct themselves without her physical presence. So, keep her alive in other ways (use symbols or whatever).
You also need space for yourself, and most probably to talk (find situations you are happy to be in: talk to friends or to a councellor or join a support group).
You need to remember that tough experiences make you stronger in the long run.
On the practical side, see which family member (mum, sister, cousin etc) or good friends can help you with the children.
I wish you all the very best.

Answer 7

I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss. My wife died 18 months ago, leaving me & 4 grown up children. I know that I will never get over it. You must be strong for your children & give them all the love that you can. Talk to them about their mum & remember the happy times. In everything I now do in life I think "what would my wife do? how would she handle it". I try to live my life as she would want me to.
Read some of my answers, they may be of some help.

Good Luck & God Bless from a fellow sufferer.

Be Strong

Answer 8

Rose Kennedy said, "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."

I couldn't agree more. The loss of a loved one isn't something you 'get over'; it is something you learn to live with one day at a time. You need to grieve with your children while at the same time not allowing their lives to stop and be defined by this one tragic event. You need to grieve alone for the loss of your wife, the life you shared and the future you hoped for. You need to let people know when you need help. Most people just don't know what to say to someone who has lost their spouse, and would be grateful to know of some specific way to help.

In time you will move ahead and probably want to date again. I can tell you from personal experience that you should not drag women in and out of your children's lives. Allowing your children to get attached to your girlfriend only to have her leave their lives is like a mini-death for them. Make sure you do not set up their lives with memories of continual losses/abandonments. And, don't invest so much of your time in dating that you neglect them; you're not a bachelor - you're a widowed dad of two.

Answer 9

This is a very difficult time for you, I would think you have lots to do with 2 young kids any spare time for yourself just try and relax, not easy, you will find something that interests you when your ready just take your time you are very young and have a big responsibility with the kids. Things will get better for you only it will take some time. Truly sorry about your loss take care and good luck. You kids are lucky to have you.

Answer 10

John,I am so sorry for your loss and can only imagine how much you're hurting right now. My brother lost his wife at a young age and they had a daughter who was nearly 2 when my sister in law died. It took him a long time,he kept a 'shrine' to his wife in the living room for awhile just to feel like she was close by,he kept a diary recording all his feelings,spent time with understanding friends,and,most importantly,gave a lot of extra love and attention to his daughter knowing she was confused and hurting too. He's getting on fine now-of course he still misses her-but time has helped him to accept it. You will too one day.

Answer 11

I'm so sorry about your loss. Unfortunately, only time will heal in this case. Spend lots of time with your children because you share the loss together and can be each other's strength even if they are small you can look at them and remember your wife and the beautiful babies she left you with to help you deal. Good luck and God bless you and your children.