Hey, my bf broke up with me a week and a half ago cos i lied to him about my past and he "caught me". i wrote him an email explaining everything, i only lied cos i know ive changed and regret everything i did an didnt want anything to affect our relationship. i spent a week without knowing anything bout him, i phoned him only twice, cos i didnt wana b annoying, but he didnt pick up. on friday night he phoned me(bit drunk) and basically said that he didnt wana be with me cos he didnt trust me and doesnt wana suffer anymore and that he doesnt like wat i did in the past and he thinks im still the same. spoke to him on saturday again. ive told him that im not the same person anymore, that is why i lied to him, i also said that im sorry for lying i do know ive a commited an error. we said that we were gona b friends and i told him i want to show him that im not the person he thinks. i havent spoken to him since. i really love this guy and wana b with him. what should i do now???
2007-02-06 09:39:16 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when i spoke to him on saturday he mentioned a bet we had, and that i owe him a dinner. so yesterday night i decided to text him and told him if he still wanted to have dinner with, and to phone me if he accepts... He hasnt phoned or anything yet. have i done the right thing? is it too early?
2007-02-06 09:39:35 · update #1
No honey it wasn't too early to text him back. I don't think he is through with you or the relationship yet. When someone walks out and really wants to leave, they really leave.
But he's talking to you, and talking about dinner, thats a decent sign. I'm not saying it's perfect, but keep being nice to him. Don't make waves, or push. Just be nice, send him a note every day or two, DON'T keep bringing it up, just be NICE NICE NICE. He may come around.
But you will have to prove yourself, and he deserves that. You may be able to pull this through.
Good luck.
2007-02-06 09:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your bf is just a bit sore that he had to learn about your past from someone else if he's meant to be the one he'll come back he will just be blowing off steam and taking some space dont keep chasing him and when he does call try sounding like you've moved on and that you're not bothered about the break up anymore it will bother him if he's still interested you were right to sent your text but i would defiantly make it your last i do think he's blowing things out of proportion we all keep secrets about our past what does he mean he doesn't want to suffer the only person that has suffered is you he is judging you on your past of course you are different person than before if he cant except that then i would move on & maybe next time you should share a little of your past with the next bf you meet if there is a chance they will find out about your past like this bf
2007-02-10 08:21:00 · answer #2 · answered by julz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine that any guy would not forgive you for you lying about your past which is irrelevant to the relationship (no offence). It must have been something pretty bad though. Despite this, he should have forgiven you by now, no matter how bad the thing was you were trying to cover up.
Anyway, stop clinging, it makes you look desperate. I recommend you stop calling him for a few days, if he doesn't get over it then move on.
2007-02-06 09:51:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. He can't deal with your past, and you haven't gotten over your past either.
You shoudl deal with the demons in your past before you move onto another man. I have no idea how you used to be, but I'm glad that you are changing for the better.
Some men can't handle that their gf's have a past without them in it. But that is a sad fact of life. But with your next man, don't lie about your past. Be truthful and upfront about it. Tell him you've learned waht mistakes you made, and not to worry because you are a changed and better woman. If this new guy choses to not be with you because of that, then is no good anyway.
I know that you "love" this guy, but hunny, he isn't man enough to deal with you and your turbulent past. All he sees is that you "lied" to him about YOUR past. Which he really has no buinsess knowing unless YOU want to talk about it. But, let this boy go and learn from this mistake. Even white lies cause trouble..
2007-02-06 09:47:54 · answer #4 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's seeing how much your willing to take, and I know you want to change and you want to be with this guy, but he may only be playing you or wanting to hurt your feelings now. I would leave it alone, he knows your sorry and that you like him. If he cares for you at all he will finally call you. If not, there are many others out there, and you have learned from your mistake, so don't worry about it. Forget about him if he don't call you.
2007-02-06 09:45:10 · answer #5 · answered by blue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a moron. if he's SO hurt and doesnt want you anymore because of your lie, then why would he even want to go to dinner with you? Who cares if it's due to a bet or not. seems like he knows that now he has the upper hand and that you feel bad for lying to him. now he can control you. if u like to be controlled, go for it.
its up to you if u want to be controlled.
you said you were sorry, whatever the lie is. either he wants you or he doesnt.
personally if someone lied to me and i was THAT hurt, i would forget about me winning the bet and not even want dinner with the person.
he's playing games.
2007-02-06 10:01:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do like that astronaut lady. Get a black pastic bag, a pepper spray, a kids shooting gun, a wig, put on a nice space dipper and drive 900 miles then drive to his house and tell him you did this just because you loved him. If he does not want to talk to you, you spray some pepper spray in his face.
2007-02-06 11:10:08 · answer #7 · answered by fabioddss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, learn from your mistakes....He has said that he didn't like the things you did in the past that should be convincing enough. Next time be open upfront.
You deserve better anyway; don't you think?
2007-02-06 09:44:36 · answer #8 · answered by Prudent World 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He still loves you. You have done the right thing explaining him through email and trying to talk with him.
Now I sense you have done enough and it's up to him to contact you.
Don't suffer that much, really... please don't feel like a bad girl. He shoulld understand that people do change their behaviour.
2007-02-06 09:50:39 · answer #9 · answered by Clara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u love this guy and its really love everything well just fall into place u need 2 look deep down and ask yourself is he really the 1 or could there b another guy just like him
2007-02-06 09:48:40 · answer #10 · answered by soccergirl101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋