One of my friends has lost their mom over the weekend. From an autopsy it seems like that she has died from overdose. I don't know how to properly cheer her up, because she isn't really outgoing and doesn't like attention drawn to herself. What things can I say/give to her to show that I care?
2007-02-06 09:31:30 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She can't really be cheered up right now. But she needs support. Talk to her, tell her how sad you are to hear about her mom. Ask if she wants you to spend time with her, at her house or yours, but be clear that it's up to her. Be sure to go to the funeral.
A sympathy card or, better yet, a letter, will be very nice.
She is kind of in shock right now. Later she may actually be more upset. Since it looks like her mother killed herself, she might get very depressed and consider suicide herself. Tell her how much you care about her. Let her talk about her feelings.
If she ever seems suicidal, that is not something you can deal with. Tell her dad or the school counselor or some such person, somebody who can get her professional help.
But mainly, just be their to talk or spend time with her.
2007-02-06 09:52:44 · answer #1 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a really difficult question, as most people feel the loss of a mom harder than all other losses. If the autopsy shows what you said it does, your friend probably even feels some guilt about it (as compared to if it had been from an illness or accident).
Just be there for her--let her know that you are willing to get her anything she needs--give her your shoulder to cry on.
It would be good to take her out to eat (or bring her food, if she'd rather not go out). She is unlikely to be in the mood to think about cooking or even eating--if you eat with her, that will help.
If there will be a wake, memorial service, funeral, etc. be sure to be there for her at any of those too.
2007-02-06 17:46:55 · answer #2 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just being there will show that you care - there is no real "cheering" a person up who has lost a parent. When I lost my mother, those people that just said "let me know what I can do for you" weren't really "there", but were being kind. It takes more than words - actions are better. Do you know what their favorite food is? Do you know what movies they like? Make a special little care package with a movie, some comfort food, etc. That will show you are thinking of them and open the door for them to call on you and share when the time is right. My deepest sympathies for your friend's loss.
2007-02-06 17:44:39 · answer #3 · answered by ckgusto 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You friend is probably still in shock. Having a mother die is like having a big chunk of you ripped out. Do not pester your friend. Go to her one time in person and tell her that if she ever needs you just call. Then you can check up on her once in a while, but do not over do it. She probably just wants to be alone. There is no true way to cheer her up, and if she doesn't like attention drawn to herself, she's more like going to be the type of person who will want to sit alone in her room through the whole experience. Give her her space. Make sure she knows your there, but let her call you. Doing that is the best way to show her you care.
2007-02-06 17:41:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think there really is a way to 'cheer someone up' after losing a loved one...especially their mother.
One thing you should do is let her know she isnt alone and that its ok to cry.
You need to tell her its ok for her to show her emotions around you because it is important for her to let it all out, other wise she may become morbid from 'trying to be strong' for her other loved ones.
She may not want to be around the public for a while, so remeber that and try not to force her to do things even if you think she needs to get out...you cant force her or she will become more reluctant.
She may not show it at the moment, but she will (and does) appreciate having a great friend like you who cares about her.
Dont try and cheer her up as such, just be there for her.
2007-02-06 17:52:48 · answer #5 · answered by takiah_3 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At such times it is good to know that someone cares and is there if he/she needs someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. So, I'd say let her know you care, and then back off so if she wants to talk to you or whatever, she can make that move.
The grieving process is really an essential part of dealing with loss, so let her grieve and in due time, she will feel better, especially knowing that others care for her and are there for her if and when she needs them.
2007-02-06 17:44:18 · answer #6 · answered by Jerry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be the friend you are and be there for her that is all you can do right now!! She is very lucky to have a friend like you who cares so much and she will let you know when she is ready to talk about it !! I am sorry for her lose&god bless!!
2007-02-06 17:38:46 · answer #7 · answered by linda bug 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I`ve lost a lot of family members, and it always helps when my friends come talk to me about it and i can let out my feelings and cry. You should try that. But give her time to grieve...and don`t push her into doing anything she doesn`t want to.
2007-02-06 17:38:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. Let her know that if she wants to talk, cry, or just sit, that you will be there for her. It is difficult losing a loved one and she will be depressed, mad, and sad for some time after this. Good luck and I am glad you are trying to help her.
2007-02-06 17:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by tigerprincess_bee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give her a sympathetic ear and your friendship. That is the best things she needs right now. Don't talk just listen.
2007-02-06 17:35:37 · answer #10 · answered by momof3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋