Indulgent vs. Authoritative parenting?

Question

I am writing a compare/contrast essay. Websites, books, and personal experiences are helpful information

Answer 1

Some thoughts to keep in mind while outlining your essay...
- Kids need unconditional love
- Kids need structure...the world has parameters, so they need to learn about this
- No hitting...this is a primitive form of discipline and punishment and it not only doesn't work, it alienates the child, among other things
- For "punishment" use appropriate consequences. A huge goal of parenting is to prepare kids for life as adults. In the adult world, every action has a consequence, and no parent will be there to shield. So it's possible to guide child behavior by introducing an appropriate consequence. "Charlie, I'm stopping the car now. I can't pay attention to driving while you're screaming. So let me know when you're done, and we'll continue going to the store, OK?"
- Give legitimate reasons, not "because I said so." If you don't have a good reason, maybe the kid is right. Problem is, many parents don't want to admit that.
- As the child gets older, involve the child in discussing the misdeed and how to make amends.

You see, the guiding philosophy is not to win the kid's love with things, but to prepare the kid for the challenges of adult life.

Indulgent parents make mistakes by protecting their children from consequences the kids need to learn from. They also give, give, give...robbing the child of the opportunity to earn and value what they have.

Good luck!

Answer 2

The key elements to good parenting are structure, constant attention in the form of observation - so that you can be there to help, teach, inform when the need arises.

There is no such thing as "quality time." There is only time, and if you don't log enough of it with your child between 1-5, he's in trouble.

The child must be taught the meaning of authority - as best you can with their young mind - as it pertains to the bigger picture; life in the outside world.

Rules exist for a reason, and most children are very "fairness" oriented. They may not always like the rules, but they must learn their reason for existence.

"Indulge" them in the sense of letting them participate in the reward/punishment system. If they help to construct it, they cannot protest it's fairness.

Explain to the child that they can discuss their situation and they can question things, but what is NOT going to happen is arguing over a parent's decision.

If they can get you to raise your voice or engage in a disagreement, they have "won." They have sucked you in and made you miserable.

Instead, institute an "invisibility" system. If the child becomes surly, unruly or just misbehaves, he/she becomes "invisible." You don't respond to them, period, until they settle down and/or apologize. It does work. Being a "non-person" is not comfortable for anyone.

Answer 3

When you're writing your essay just make sure you remember that there is a difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting.

Answer 4

Go the library and check out a Developmental Psychology book.

Even your most basic developmental book should have information on parenting styles.

Answer 5

Here's a start (if you're a student, use your university's ATHENS account to check out some references):

http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=indulgent+authoritative+parenting&hl=en&lr=

Google Scholar is my saviour!