my exboyfriend swore up and down he loved me and wanted to be with me throughout this pregnancy. our relationship ended soon after with he didnt want to be with me anymore but he still wanted to be involved in my child's life. on top of this, he has initiated countless arguments where he has cursed at me was overly aggressive and told me disrespectful hurtful things.
he demanded that i need to let him know whats going on with the baby, he has to attend every sonogram appointment, and at the end there will be a paternity test and custody battle. (Originally, he wanted to abort this child.).
I havnt heard from him in about 3 weeks. I am moving forward with my life and refuse to contact him to let him know whats going on with my baby. I believe if he is genuinely interested in his child he would contact me for updates.
I have decided to give my child my last name and also i will not be calling him on the day of delivery. Am i wrong for handling things this way? Suggestions?
2007-02-06 09:12:28 · 23 answers · asked by Ash G 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I would do what you are doing. Just make a life for you and your baby and if he is interested he will contact you. I would give your baby your last name because you will be the one raising your baby.
2007-02-06 09:17:39 · answer #1 · answered by schell_75 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off it is not "your baby". It took the two of you to make this child and now you just have to start acting mature and handle this in the best way you can for the best interest of the child. I am sure you are giving us all the ugly detail about him But I honesty do not believe you are all sweet and nice. Time to grow up MOM-DAD! You sound pretty young and or stupid to believe a man when he says he will stay with you if you get prego, you have to read between the lines.
2007-02-06 17:34:30 · answer #2 · answered by Sassy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well.....you are NOT married to this guy, so your baby SHOULD have your last name..And if he is being such an ***, let him.You do NOT have to contact him when you have the baby.But I would suggest you have someone there with you, maybe your Mom, or a close friend.I would wait until you have the baby, and are able to get moving zround.Take a shower and get something to eat.Then call him and let him know you have given birth to the child.If he comes to the hospital, and shows his ***, the hospital will kick him out,.He will have to be the one to take you to court, and request a paternity test.Let him.Unless you are a terrible person, you will NOT lose your baby.He will have visatation, but you can stipulate that you want surervised until the baby is older.
2007-02-06 17:30:29 · answer #3 · answered by sheila a 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Whether he likes it or not, he IS involved! He will have to pay child support whether he wants to or not!
You should contact him with the paper work for child support! And then Contact him when you have the baby to let him know of the birth and set up visitation(supervised the first year). He will have the right to visitation! It will be hard for him to get custody, your not married. This automatically gives you custody. He would have to prove you to be unfit in court to win a custody battle.
Keep your nose clean, take good care of your baby, don't try to live on welfare, and you won't give him a legal leg to stand on!
Do you have the moral support of your family and friends? This would help!
I was a single mom, and unmarried. I lived with their father. We never legally married. And split up after 8 yrs. and 3 kids. (He was abusive).
2007-02-06 17:28:08 · answer #4 · answered by Gramms 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
NO. You are not wrong. He is entirely aware that you are pregnant with his child. He knows the avenues to take to get ahold of you. He is grown, at least enough to make a child, you shouldn't have to follow him around. You are exactly right to move on like you have, you don't need the abusive disruption, either. You and your baby will be better off without it. Plus, if he is going to try for custidy and blah, blah, etc. you need to start now with a journal, with dates and all. You need to write down your interactions with him good/bad with dates. Include that he wanted an abortion in the beginning. If you are armed with that in court, there will be no way he will get the baby. Plus, YOU need to bring him to court for child support anyways. Good Luck....
2007-02-06 17:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by Wells' Mama 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hello Ash.. Not at all babe. He sounds like a real prig to me.
I think you are doing the right thing by yourself and your future bundle of joy. Anyone who takes his pleasure and then runs from responsibility when the chips are down is not the right person to have any access or influence on your baby.
You take whoever you like with you to share the joy of birth but leave that snot right where he is and let him forever wonder what that moment was like.
Insults and disrespectful comments have shown you what he is really like, any union of long standing with this person would have been hell, so i guess it's better to find out now so that you can get on with life and find someone who cares for you and the child as a bonus package deal. there are lots of nice guys out there, some are shy so don't you be go get one that's caring and shows affection to your baby.
Now get a video camera and get mum or one of your friends to video this babe when you first get to hold it. It will be treasured memnories for evermore. Dont let his rudeness see it though buggar him!
2007-02-06 17:31:56 · answer #6 · answered by Shelty K 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I can understand where you are coming from. You are hurt due to the fact he has argued with you and said upsetful things. And it is right for you to move on with your life in that manner. However, he does have a right to attend the appointments with you if he wants to, and he has a right to know when the child is born. It is his child too. You're right when you say he should contact you for updates but it works both ways.. Try calling him.
2007-02-06 17:25:20 · answer #7 · answered by jasmyn 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Find a good family to adopt the baby.
Your kids father is a boy not a man.
Your kid's mother is a girl that got knocked up by a boy and then complained all the time how the boy was a boy.
Something tells me that neither you or the has father health care or the resources to pay for and support this child. Hence I get the tax bill for your two's sexual irresponsibility.
A child deserves at least one grown up for a parent. Please try to find this one two.
2007-02-06 17:28:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
He has the right to know whats going on but he does not have the right to attend any doctor appt if you object. You do not have to let him near you in the hospital.
Sorry, but it is not just your baby - the law will say its his as well. The court will decide whose name the child will have.
Thats why I think people should wait to conceive until they have a stable relationship. The child does suffer.
2007-02-06 17:27:29 · answer #9 · answered by professorc 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I went thru the same thing only he decided he didnt want to be around when he first found out about my son. If you can handle this on your own more power to you. Im doing it with the help of my family. I didnt put him on the birth certificate and thats going to help me later if someone decides they want to be daddy. I understand some people my think its wrong but what you think is best for you and your baby is what you should do. You and your baby need you to be strong and dont let anyone put you down! Stay strong
2007-02-06 17:24:58 · answer #10 · answered by MUFASAS MOMMA 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋