My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have had our share of ups and downs but we always managed to work it out. However, recently he has been distancing himself. He does not like his job. He got into a fight with his boss because my boyfriend was hoping to get promoted but his boss would not let him. He has been pretty upset about it and since then it's as if he is not "there". He is irritable. He has been applying for new jobs and he says he needs to get himself sorted as he is not happy there at all. Since the day he has been told he won't get promoted, which in the industry he works for, that's the only way to climb up, he hasn't been attentive that much. He told me the other day that he is sorry that he has been neglecting me. I never actually told him that he neglects me. However, last weekend we got into an argument as I became needy of him and he said that he needs some time for himself. What is it that I should do in order to support him? Does he not love me?
2007-02-06 09:00:00 · 11 answers · asked by Elisa N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He does love you, hes just going through alot of stress. Give him some space, let him find a job, support him with what he wants, help him find a job, but dont bug him about finding one. Let him go at his own pace. Once he has a new job and is happy with that then your relationship with him will be happy again. You'll just have to grin and bare it until then.
2007-02-06 09:04:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i hate say it its not all about you right now, he lost his job... what about you being there for him? he needs you and he needs you to be understanding of why he is the way he is right now. he is unsure of what kind of job he can get and unsure about where this road will take him, losing something like a job or a relationship can get people feeling a certain way so just give him time and back of about the me me me stuff right now make it about him support him... ask if he needs help with something ask if there is something you can do to make him feel OK. let him have his time to himself right there was hint to let him be let him gather himself up and figure this thing out he's up set but your self in his shoes and then go from there on how to help him. what would you want him to do for you.....if you lost your job....he loves you just let him have this down time....
2007-02-06 17:11:22 · answer #2 · answered by tlcoufan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well'maybe he loves you, he's still with you but when someone is going through a rough time they sometimes become so caught up in themselves that they forget about everyone else. It happens. Just be there for him no matter what he decides and give him his space sometimes. Try not to argue and let him sort of all of his thoughts and what he needs to do. Good luck hon!
2007-02-06 17:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please don't push this issue with him. leave him be. the best thing that you can do for him is to give him his space so that he can sort things out. if he wants help...he can ask. just because you two are in a relationship doesn't mean that you have to be all up in each other's faces all the time. besides...if you need to talk...call your friends or family...or send him an email. get some activities or hang out with your friends...take yourself to a movie. just give him the space that he needs. men and women are different when they face such hurdles in life. men feel the need to be indepdent (well from my observation anyway) and so they will not talk about it and deal with it on their own. women...need to talk about the issue until they feel better (not necessarliy looking for a solution but just talk to feel better).
2007-02-06 19:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when things don't go well for us, we do tend to get a little selfish and can't focus on much but our problems, he is all stressed out, counted on the promotion now feels put out and upset upon learning he won't be advancing. men seem to define themselves around their jobs and when all is not well there they aren't themselves. just hang in there, things will get better when he changes jobs.
2007-02-06 17:16:06 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already answered, he is going through a very hard time, for men their jobs are their financial security and their proof of being 'men' they are the providers even though us women work, they bring the bacon home and when work is bad, all facets of their lives are affected, give him space, tell him you're there, be a good listener and understanding. He will come around, its not about you, its about him now
2007-02-06 17:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just stressed with work stuff.
Be more supportive and understanding.
Try searching for some jobs in his field, or ask him what you can do to help him work his way out of his slump.
2007-02-06 17:06:34 · answer #7 · answered by marnan97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure he does love you. He is just going through this thing with work. Just stick by him. If he needs to vent or whatever, then be there.
2007-02-06 17:05:36 · answer #8 · answered by caser 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
relax and give him so space...the issue is not u (so don't make it about u)...the issue is about his job...take a chill pill and everything will work itself out...if u make the issue about u now -- u may just get dumped...as the job issue has his full attention
2007-02-06 17:04:44 · answer #9 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what you need to do, support him and encourage him. "As long as you do/try your best, that's what matters. I'm proud of you no matter what."
Start being more affectionate and supportive of him, he'll come around.
2007-02-06 17:08:22 · answer #10 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋