feels like a loveless marriage.?

Question

my husband and i were seperated for 2 months and 2 weeks ago we decided to try and work on things. I am 9 months pregnant and he wants to be there for me and the baby the problem is is that we are not how we used to be. We have sex but it seems emotionless. we don't kiss just hug and he tells me often that he thinks we are not going to work out. i love him with all my heart but should i stay with someone like this? I really want us to work out but he is verbably abusive and i don't think he loves me any more. I want our family to work out. what should i do?

Answer 1

I think you should have your baby and then work on changing your life. If he keeps telling you things are not going to work out that means after the baby is born he's going to leave. Why would you want him around anyway if me is verbally abusive. Do you want your child growing up around that. Love hurts I know but concentrate on yourself and having a healthy baby. Once you see that baby your love will shift in a different directions. He's the fool. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Now if he is really verbally abusive, that is wrong. There is nothing you can do about that. But make sure that you are not abusive as well. If he is abusive, he will treat your child like that too. Your child will see him talk to you like that and will be disrespecful to you. Abuse should never be tolerated. If it is abuse, then you need to leave before the baby is born. Verbal abuse can turn physical. Love DOES NOT get you through anything. If there is abuse, then no matter how much you love him, it will not end. A real man does not disresect his woman. A real man does not abuse his woman.

Otherwise-(if no abuse)

You should stay together for the good of your child, unless there is abuse. Work on getting the love back, it was there once get it again. Just force yourself to be nice to him. Try an experiment- do this for a few weeks and see what happens, but don't tell him that you are doing it. Get yourself a notebook. Everyday for a week write down five positive things about your husband. ie.. "I love that my husband works so hard to provide for my child and me" "I love that my husband has a great sense of humor" "I love how hot my husband is" etc... Whatever you can think of. At the end of the week it should be pretty easy to come up with five things, so then for the next week come up with ten things. Then when he comes home from work, or before you go to bed at night, tell him one thing he does that you love. "Honey, I am so thankful that you work so hard to keep the bills paid, I really love you for that." You should start to notice a diffence. Make sure that this notebook only contains positive about him. That way if he accidentialy found it and started reading it, he would know how you feel about him.

Now when you are doing this experience, Don't expect him to do it with you, you just do it. Don't expect him to compliment you back all the time, in theory that should come, but if that is not who he is, then it won't. Just don't be like "Hey I just said something nice about you, will you say something nice about me?" Just say your nice thing and leave it at that. Don't overdo it on the compliments- it will seem phony and scripted.

I would say, just put a smile on your face do this experiment and see what happens to your heart. You will most likely have a real change of heart. And in turn, he may as well.

Answer 3

I think the worst thing to do is to keep wasting time on marriage which you know well that it won't work anymore, especially when the man had told right in front of your face. You will never be happy in such a relationship because since he doesn't love you, even if he stays back, he will never love/respect you as a man should to his wife because you are the one who wants to go on with it. It is also not good for the baby because he will suffer more growing up seeing a broken family. Many women make this same mistake by hanging on a relationship for the sake of the child. In future, she might even blame the child for all her unhappiness which again will cause more harm to the child. Please put all your emotions aside and start thinking what is the best for all three of you.

Answer 4

Love is an action.

People equate "love" with feeling "love" and "attraction" when it is much more.

It is what YOU make of it. If sex is emotionless then you make it so as much as your hubby.

I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
I still believe the words we said
Forever will ring true
Love is certain, love is kind
Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn't something that we find
It's something that we do
It's holding tight, lettin' go
It's flying high and laying low
Let your strongest feelings show
And your weakness, too
It's a little and a lot to ask
An endless and a welcome task
Love isn't something that we have
It's something that we do
We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can't tell where I end and where you start
It gives me heart remembering how
We started with a simple vow
There's so much to look back on now
Still it feels brand-new
We're on a road that has no end
And each day we begin again
Love's not just something that we're in
It's something that we do
We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can't tell where I end and where you start
Love is wide, love is long
Love is deep and love is strong
Love is why I love this song
And I hope you love it too
I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
Love isn't just those words we said
It's something that we do
There's no request too big or small
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn't someplace that we fall
It's something that we do

Answer 5

Relationship counseling immediately and parenting classes would not hurt. If he is verbally abusive to you he will probably be the same way to the baby once it gets older.

If that fails divorce but I would still suggest counseling for you both as well as parenting classes.

Being 9 months pregnant your emotions and hormones are making you a bit nuts. No offense. I've been there.

Answer 6

In the same situation with my wife (without the preggies of course). I can tell you from experience. Whether you love him or not, whether the baby is born and he loves it as much as the other children, no matter how bad you want it, or how much counseling you seek either seperately or together. If the love is gone from one of you, then you need to let go and move on.

Unless you can wave a magic love wand, or slip him a love pill, or otherwise make him love you again, I'd have to be honest and say that it's pretty much over at this point.

No offense slim, but poems won't breathe life into an otherwise dead relationship. Actions without results = Wasted Effort.

Answer 7

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act inbecomingly;it does not seek its own,is not provoked,does not take into account wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejouces with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love, and if you dont have love you have nothing

God Bless

Answer 8

I understand you wanting to stay together. But it's time to go. I think it will be best for your baby not to be raised in such a place. I got out of a loveless marriage myself. I was lucky that kids were never involved. Seek a lawyer to make sure your baby will be finacially cared for. Good luck. God Bless

Answer 9

If he is verbally abusive than it won't get better! You should probably think about breaking it off in my opinion.

Answer 10

let him cool off for a while and have him come to you for your love and heart. once you have the baby he will comfort you and share his love. if not ask what are his problems and maybe he will share. good luck with the baby