I'm married to a man for 2 years, he spent 1 year in prison and when he get out?

Question

he's worst than before..the story is : he 's been out of prison only for 5 months and he went to the hospithal 5 times ( for CRACK).When it's pay day you'll never saw him(he stayed out for sometimes 3 days or more),and he always come back home broke ,he never
spend his money for the baby he's 35 years old and that's he's first child, i always cook ,i pay the bills him every day he's smook weid
and he put cocaine on it .So i asked him to go ,and he 's not living with me no more..i got 3 questions :
1- IF HE LOVED ME ,HE WILL STOP,DON'T YOU THINK?
2- SHOULD I GIVE HIM CHILD SUPPORT AFTER THE DIVORCE?
3-WHEN HE CALL ,SHOULD I ANSWER THE PHONE ?
PLEASE ANSWER ,THANK YOU

Answer 1

1). It doesn't matter if he love's you or not the fact is he has a problem and needs professional help. Without it he will never stop. Love has nothing to do with his problem, remember drugs do!
2). Why should you give him child support?.....if your smart you should get child support from him through the court....the divorce is up to you.....you can still get child support whether you get divorce or not.
3). When he calls does it solve anything? Or is he apologizing over and over and tells you he will get help just give him one more chance....it's like a broken record you hear over and over just to come back home til the next time and it starts all over again.....i'm speaking from experience on this and it never ends til he really and truely seeks help......
He is not worth wasting your life on no matter how much you love him he will always hurt you even if he hurts you emotionally. Your baby deserves a good drug-free life, a happy life even if the baby only has one parent. that one parent can give so much love.
You can give your baby a healthy happy life but the choice you make is yours. Always think this....My baby will come first and what is best for him/her.

Answer 2

The honest answer, although it may be harsh, he can't love you because he doesn't even respect himself. In order to be capable of loving someone else you have to love and respect yourself first. Only then can you give that type of love to another.

His use of drugs and complete disregard for his health and your well-being shows that he doesn't really care about anything. Not even you. And you can't force him to change. Only when he begins to care about himself and others will he want to change. Until then, it's best to keep a distance, so that his self destructive behavior doesn't take it's toll on you or your child.

You're soon to be ex-husband is a drug user, in debt and ended up in jail. He's not going to get custody of the baby. You are. Which is good, since you will be able to provide a much more stable and healthy home then he will. If, in some weird turn of events, he does get custody and the courts award him child support you can work out an arrangment where the funds can be put in a trust administered by a lawyer. That way he can't take the money and spend it one drugs etc.

You should always answer the phone unless he is harrassing you. You also have the right to end any conversation. If he is harrassing you, calling you nonstop and being threatening you can get a restraining order against him. But, for divorce perceedings, it's always a good idea to answer the phone. That way it looks like you are willing to communicate with him.

Answer 3

Hi dear, I have a simular problem. My husband smokes pot every day too. He's never been to prison but he has emptied our checking and child's saving account on crack. He just went on another crack bender a week ago staying out all night. He wonders why I think he don't want me or love me.
1- No, he ain't gunna stop untill he's ready. After 5 trips to the hospital, it seems that he's not going to stop.
2- I think you mis-worded this question. I think that you have the child, right? I hope so. Get an order for child support and if he wants visitation make him have supervised visits. You don't want your baby around his bad habbits.
3- Don't answer the phone when he calls. The thing is, there is a judge that will settle all of your disputes. You don't need to talk to your husband untill court if you choose not. If he's mad that you're not letting him see his kid, tell him to take you to court. Don't let him push you around or make you think that he has any control over the situation. You're in control even if your husband tells you different. GIRL POWER! E-mail me and we can chat some more. Good luck.

Answer 4

First of all, if he's using drugs as badly as you say then you have to realize that the drugs are controlling him - he's not in control and no one is when using drugs. So, he may truely love you but love is not enough to make him change. He has to admit he has a problem and then get help. Second, I don't understand the child support issue unless you have given up your child to him. Otherwise, I wouldn't give him the money because he hasn't shown that he is responsible enough to take care of his child. When it comes to child support, the state determines all of that and it is a legal contract. About answering the phone - that's something you need to decide for yourself. Me personally, I wouldn't answer the phone until he's completed several weeks in drug rehab and he's shown that he has changed. Why answer? I would think that would be a constant reminder of how miserable you were in the relationship. I think its important for parents to have contact with their children but is this man capable of having a real father/son relationship? Its not good for your child to be around his father using drugs. When making any decisions, keep your child's safety in mind and also be aware of how you feel. The kind of change you are wanting from your guy is going to take many weeks (and possibly years) of treatment.

Answer 5

1. He would stop if he truly loved you. He would be willing to change his ways to save marriage.

2. NO. Why does he get custody of your child? Make sure you fight all the way for your child. No child needs to be brought up in a household where drugs are always present that will really mess your child up emotionally.

3. Don't answer his calls let the voicemail or answering machine pick up the call.

Answer 6

If he's pressuring you into marriage, he's not top for you. A tiger doesn't replace its stripes, and those blunders he's made are not to any extent further small infractions. there's a habit trend of risky, damaging moves, i.e., sound asleep round without secure practices, doing in spite of he did to get incarcerated, etc. If he has truly replaced, he will appreciate that you experience you're not to any extent further waiting to marry him. Please do not dive into this. Wait till he's out of penitentiary, be particular he doesn't violate his parole, and get couples counseling previously you change into stepmom to 5 children. on your own sake, stay away from a painful and extreme priced divorce by potential of being careful

Answer 7

1. Addiction doesn't know what love is.

2. Don't pay him child support if you are the one caring for the child. But, I wouldn't hold my breath getting any from him.

3. If he wants to be a part of the child's life, you have to tell him he has to get clean first, then he can. But, I wouldn't talk to him about anything other than getting clean in order to see his kid.

Answer 8

He needs to feel the cold cement on his ***!! If he does love you then he will stop. But as it seems he loves his addiction at the moment. His mind is in a different channel. Girl would u preffer or his money to go your child or be smoked away? CHILD SUPPORT is the answer. Dont answer the phone, that man needs to go to rehab/NA classes. Good luck...and remember you and ur baby come first.

Answer 9

frist of all, he may love you, but for an addict, one thing is more important :the drugs.second, you should not give him child support because im assuming you will have the children otherwise child protective services need to be contacted.and third, you should wait until there is something inthe courts before you talk to him, if not you might never see any difference

Answer 10

You have to ask??
1. It doesn't matter if he loves you, he is not going to stop using.
2. Heavens no.
3. No, don't answer the phone.

Move on, move out, move away. Don't allow him to be involved in your life any longer.