i mean i'm a virgin & hope to remain so until i meet a person i really love.(maybe this is because of my culture,i'm asian)by the questions asked,& the answers given,i see that a lot of people prefer non-virgins.i mean doesn't it bother you that your husband/wife has slept with other people before?there are even 12 year olds who are non-virgins.isn't sex supposed to be an intimate act between two people who are very much in love?even my friends keep asking me why i have such "dum" thoughts according to them.
ok.i understand,gaining experience is one thing,but actaully knowing that the person you're going to marry or is married to(the person you're in love with & want to spend the rest of your life with),did something as intimate as that-doesn't that hurt?
just asking your opinion-cheers!
2007-02-06 07:26:23 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I was a virgin until I was twenty. I was the only virgin all through high school. So, I can relate to how you feel. Keep your ideals, only ignorant (dumb) people label. And a true friend would be supportive. You will know when it is time to experience love. It may or may not come before marriage. But, when ever it does come, embrace and enjoy the experience and the person you are with. Work towards not dissecting it or punishing yourself for enjoying life. Life is to be lived, enjoyed, experienced, respected and loved. YOU SET YOUR OWN PACE, as well as creating your own truths. And be careful as to other truths you choose to take as your own.
Take every relationship you experience and treasure it. Take the best parts that you want to keep from each of them and discard what does not serve you. For it is the best parts from each of these gifts from people you've loved that you will share with your one and last love. A treasure trove of love to share for a lifetime, because you will know the difference between just having sex and making love. This is what takes the hurt away and what makes what could look ugly, actually a gift to each other!
Chemistry between two people equals hot passion and the best sex you'll probably ever experience. But, that's it... just great sex. Everything else about it may feel incomplete. And the other person may just as easily be able to have passion for and with others. And it has been my experience to say passion never lasts. So, if you ever do choose to go here, go with the awareness that you will enjoy this ride until YOU choose to get off.
Love is what we all strive for. Passion or lust is great but never lasts. Love will last a lifetime. Love will be there through the good, bad and ugly. Love is like a complete package. Loving someone for the rest of your life and accepting each others short comings and still being in love and feeling good about it!
I commend you on being a virgin, it means that you love, care and respect yourself, therefore, when the time is right, you will be ready to love, care and have respect for your partner.
To Life & Love - Cheers!
2007-02-06 08:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by Lizzy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The funny thing is when you are a virgin it seems like everyone else isn't, but as soon as you make that plunge and cross into the "non-virgin" realm, suddenly everyone you meet still has their virginity intact. I always believed I would be a virgin until I was married. Actually, more than believed, I was completely adamant about it. However, one fateful night with the boyfriend I told myself I loved and a 12-pack of Heiniken, the 19 years of adamancy were obliterated with one night of "passion." I don't believe in regret, mostly because it doesn't do to dwell on changing the past, I believe in learning from mistakes and moving into the future. But if there is one part of my life I regret, it was that night. I guess now I am just holding out hope that someone out there will someday love me as I always meant myself to be, not as one night of alcohol, false love, and stupidity made me.
2016-03-29 08:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a good outlook- I wished I had waited longer before I started experimenting because I eventually realized that those people I thought I loved, well...they were just boyfriends, and boyfriends come and go in life. While I'm not planning on being celibate until marriage, I do think that it's wise to wait until you know you love the other person and you're in the relationship for the long haul. Afterall, sex is somewhat over-rated as far as the physical experience goes: it's the connection with your partner that really makes things amazing.
As far as being hurt by a partner being a non-virgin goes, it doesn't bother me at all. You can't dictate the life you're partner will lead and what brought them to you. If things happened, so be it- it's in the past anyway, right?
2007-02-06 07:37:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, let me tip you off. It's no big deal because there's no one kind of Virgin!! I had a GF in college and she kept reminding me every single day that she was a "Virgin" so I believed her though she didn't dress or act like one. This gets a little dirty so I will be careful. One day I find out her BF is a married man!! Then I KNEW she was lying and a cheater too!! But she let it slip one evening while we were talking, I'm sure about Her, and she slipped and said "Just because I'm a Virgin doesn't mean I can't get my Cookies" and I almost did a back flip over the sofa!! So, there's a point here. Even the word Virgin is not agreed upon. Let alone, the situational ambiguities!!! @8-)
You made me laugh!! I'm sorry!! Live and Learn!!
2007-02-06 07:50:00 · answer #4 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love itself is a rare thing, perhaps some are scared that they will never experience it and just have sex so they don't "miss out" on anything. Others might look at is as a milestone that determines their maturity. And then there are those rare few who succumb under pressure just because everyone's doing it.
Anyways, what's wrong with being a virgin? Wait for the right moment and the right person rather than taking an action that you'd regret for the rest of your life.
2007-02-06 07:47:35 · answer #5 · answered by ozarugold51 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think people have sex before marriage because they want to know what it feels like. I am 16 and haven't had sex, but according to a survey I've seen, 54% of girls under 16 have had sex before. I see it as this: 1) will have sex if feel I love them, but want to make sure that sex feels good with the person I'm with before I decide to marry them, 2) gain experience to make sure the person I do marry and I will have great sex. I still feel personality is the biggest thing in determining who to marry, but it is looks and good sex that makes it all click.
2007-02-06 07:33:02 · answer #6 · answered by minipinsrqts1990 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you on the whole staying a virgin until you meet that special someone that you described here. In fact, I remained a virgin until I was with my ex-fiance. I guess that some people care more about the experience issue than they do being someones first. I agree that it is something special to be shared only with someone that you really care for. There is nothing wrong with your ideals and don't let peer pressure make you do something you really don't want to do.
2007-02-06 07:32:27 · answer #7 · answered by Jason C 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Problem in america is we all spend to much time trying to convience ourselve(s) these things don't count.
If you are only ever with one person, they are the best and the biggest.
Once your with more then one person, you don't get more experience you get a better chance of being a leftover. Is that what you want to tell your man. Oh honey you number 2 in the sack.
2007-02-06 07:32:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you your best chosen answer!!
America's culture is corrupted, rediculous and has no real back or structure. America is the land of the free so that also means: free to make any stupid culture or way of life up and everyone follows no matter how stupid it really is!! Everyone wants to fit in
2007-02-06 07:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by The King 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i think u r a very smart lady. this is an excellent way to prevent STD's and unwanted pregnancies. if more people thought like u the world would of been a bit more pleasant.
2007-02-06 07:38:54 · answer #10 · answered by sheila, TTC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋