Does physical contact have to be done to be considered cheating?

Question

I've been married almost a year and recently I've found out my husband is still contacting this girl. This girl WAS a friend of
mine til she interrupted our marriage and before marriage. My husband and her been hanging out behind my back. We been through so many arguements coz of him and I always forgived him. He always promised me he would stop. But he still is..
Long story short, how can I stop him? Should I just admit the
fact they're just friends(like my hub says) and don't even bother?
Its bugging me, and I want our relationship to work. I don't think
it's a big of a reason to divorce.

Answer 1

To answer your first question, cheating can be emotional or physical. Both are devastating to a relationship.

As for the rest of what you've written, it's obvious that your husband does not consider your needs in the relationship to be important. Therefore, you now know where you rank on the totem pole. If that is acceptable to you, then you live with it. If it's not, then what are YOU prepared to do about it?

Answer 2

Have you ever heard the old adage, where there is smoke there is fire? You, dear, have a forest fire in the making.

If he truly loved you he would be honest and not have dealings with this Jezebel. Simple as that. The only women in his life should be family, you and business associates. They are cheating on you. Don't put up with it if you value yourself at all. If you let this go on he is treating you as a doormat, something no person wants to be.

No woman can stop a man from seeing another woman. That is HIS decision. "Making" him do that? How do you "make" a man do anything if he does not want to do it? The thing is, even thinking of another woman in a sexual context, is a form of cheating. This is the basis of so much sorrow even over the internet when there is no physical contact between people but one partner indulges in cyber affairs. His/her mate is being ripped off and cheated upon. It is intent that matters!

Either you can trust him or you cannot trust him. Again, simple as that. What do you feel in the deepest recesses of your heart? Go by your gut feeling. It is usually telling you the truth before your thoughts and emotions get involved and get you all confused.

It does not matter if it is one month, one year, or one decade; if you cannot trust your man and he is a habitual liar over another woman, divorce is well justified! Unless, of course, you are a glutton for punishment, something you will get more than you bargained for if he does not straighten out or you. Lay down the law. Stand up for yourself or this will go on for the rest of your married life. He will continue to put other women in front of you and your needs as his wife.

Time for zero tolerance with this situation, dear. Please take care and I wish you well with this.

Answer 3

No. An emotional affair can be happening. If he is keeping it a secret then he knows he is doing wrong.

You can't stop him, if he wants to do it, he will.

Personally, I wouldn't bother. Oh wait, you said she interrupted your marriage. How so? If she was your friend, and now isn't and is his, then yes I would tell him or demand that he stop. He is married afterall, so he has no business doing this.

Personally if it were me, I would give him an ultimatum, or find a friend of your own. It may not be a reason for divorce, but it could lead to one. This woman sounds like a homewrecker. I would call her up and get her to stop hanging with your man.

Answer 4

Talk to your husband and let him know exactly how you
feel and you have the right to tell him to stop. If he con-
tinues doing stuff behind your back then consider it cheat
ing and then you need to put your foot down. You will not
be able to stop him as he has to do that on his own, but if
he is truly a loving husband then he would respect you
would not want to do anything to hurt you, so if he still
continues then you need to think is he really the one that
you would want to spend the rest of your life with as it
has become serious if he does not stop after you have
confronted him several times about the same thing.
Good luck.

Answer 5

If YOU are uncomfortable, then HE should respect that so that YOUR marriage will have a chance to succeed. I think that he may be cheating but only seeing that would prove it; call the Cheaters show and let them check for you only if it will impact whether or not you stay together as it sounds like he doesnt really care about you anyway.

If he did cheat would that make you leave him-you say its not that big of a reason to get divorced but i am not so sure of that.

I hoep this helps

Answer 6

Yes, I think that is cheating. Anything that is done behind your back so you won't ever find out is cheating. I don't think divorce is something you need to do but I think that he should STOP seeing her. Your husband should be on lock down...tell him that's what he gets for lying and sneaking around. I would keep a close eye on him until he can prove he can be trusted again. Call this woman and tell her if she comes around your man she will have some major issues. Better yet ...if she is married or seeing someone call them and tell them what she is up to. Don't let him walk all over you...if he is doing this now imagine what he will do later if you don't nix it right now.

Answer 7

I had the same problem except it was my youngest sister. My ex could not do anything without her. It started as friendship and then it grows into a full blown affair. They will never admit it. The girl is no friend. If he knew this is hurting you and he cared he would stop. Mine did not care and he never stopped. They lie to themselves so they do not feel guilt. I know , my ex still goes back to his place each night so he doesn't call it an affair if he does not spend the night. Tell him how you feel one more time, call the girl friend tell her how you feel and if it doesn't stop. It won't , get a detective proof adultry and tell him so long. Don't waste your life on a loser who doesn't care how you feel. Don't be like me and waste your life on a loser I spend 37 years thinking he would change . A leopard does not change his spots.
And the friendship lie is what men have been using for years!!!!

Answer 8

I think cheating can be a number of things, beyond just sex.
Kissing, emotional foreplay with other people, anytime you're doing something you wouldn't do right in front of your spouse, in a sense you are "cheating". Not a big enough reason to divorce? What would be a big enough reason for you? I'd lay the law down, and let him know this won't continue, or I'm gone.
He probably doesn't care though, because for some reason, I get the sense that he is not just friends with her, or he woudn't be lying to you about meeting up with her.

Answer 9

umm...i see that the issue is not whether they are friends or not...it is more of a trust issue of which he had promised you that he would stop but...he still has not....and has instead continued to do whatever he promised you that he would stop doing. which shows that there is no due respect given in this case. perhaps you should have a talk with him and tell him this trust issue...and decide what you wana do next. if he really respects your marriage and they are really purely friends...there is no reason to hide........

My own feel is that it doesnt have to have physical contact to be considered cheating....cheating is afterall in line with lying.......which he has been...how would you really know that he never had any physical contact with this girl...

Answer 10

I think he ought to cool it with this girl out of respect for you. She obviously knows she is causing flack in your marriage, and she obviously doesn't care. He can retain a friendly relationship, but if it can't involve you too at times, then I think something is wrong. Go out and find a male friend (or mention to him that you should) and sneak around and see him just as friends and see how he likes it...maybe it would put it in perspective for him. I wouldn't just admit the fact their friends, and just let it go...because subconsciously or consciencely you're not really letting it go. You are just making it easier for him and her to disrespect you and your feelings. He married you, and he should honor you. If that means he cools it with a "friend" than so be it...you should be the most important person in his life. In my opinion, what you feel and think is more important than a friendship that he has to hide. I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot, he'd think twice about it.