My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. However, he has broken up with me out of the blue 4 times now. I never expect it to happen because we never fight, and get along great! He just says he feels like there is something missing with us. But, it only takes him a couple of weeks to start calling me again saying he misses me and loves me. I know i am a bit at fault because I keep taking him back. I just want to know why he finds it necessary to break up with me when chances are, he will just want me back in a week?
2007-02-06 06:57:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
stop taking him back, he is going to keep playing mind games with you as long as you let him, stand up for yourself and let him know that you will not be treated this way and that you are moving on because you deserve someone that will actually want to be with you and is mature enough not to string someone along...
2007-02-07 04:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say I have done this with a girl awhile ago and can tell you exactly what he is feeling. He knows you will take him back thus why he calls. He likes you but maybe just the sex? he is afraid to commit to you otherwise and will continue this pattern. I'll bet after two weeks, he says all the right things, you take him back and are fine for a couple of months and then he breaks up? The best way to go about this, is to get hand back in the relationship by not being available to him. You need to find another because this guy will do this until he marrys someone else or you do. He is using you when times are tough, when he feels he can go out with someone else, then he dumps you. You are the back-up plan.
2007-02-06 07:29:26 · answer #2 · answered by ACTS 4:12 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, honestly, you're his safety net. He'd like to venture out beyond you, but he's scared he's letting go of a good thing (which he probably is...look how forgiving you are!), and so he's not 100% into letting you completely go. He's afraid he'll blow it and be left with nothing. I'd let him know I had a LOT to offer someone, and if he continued this game, you are going to forfeit because you want and deserve better than this, and there are a lot of men looking for someone to stay by them, trust me.
Talk to him, and tell him to shape up or ship out for good! You do need to place some boundaries, because you are teaching him while you're dating that he can manipulate you...not good if you end up married, where the games carry higher stakes.
2007-02-06 07:02:53 · answer #3 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen, if you do not want to be a human yo-yo then take the initiative to end this and find a more stable partner, You do not want to settle down with someone like this. Do you want him as your husband? will he decide to divorce you every few months or so? You will need a lawyer on retainer, which can get very pricey.
In any case he is unstable and useless, You are probably walking on eggshells, waiting for him to drop the bad news on you at random. No man is worth that.
2007-02-06 07:04:06 · answer #4 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jenn your relationship is with someone that's not mature . If you have no clue & he won't talk it out . He might have other interest than you??? Ask yourself is this what i want if we get married {not] Time for you to say by by move on i can tell you from past x that there is someone that wants you & will enjoy you. With out the trama.
Hope this helps Keep smiling
2007-02-06 07:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are very tricky. Maybe you are too available to him and he wants space, when he gets it he just wants you back. My best advice is to stop being so available to him. Spend some extra time with friends, shopping, dancing, to yourself, or whatever. But when you do that, trust me he will not want to let you go. Many guys love the chase.
2007-02-06 07:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing other people...when he wants to see someone else or "just check it out" then he breaks up to avoid the guilt that should follow...stop taking him back...that would take care of the problem right there...
2007-02-06 07:02:40 · answer #7 · answered by kauai_lvr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me as if he is looking for something else "in" someone else and thinks if he breaks up with you then it won't be considered cheating. Then when he doesn't find what he's looking for he comes back to you because he feels safe with you. Tell him to make up his mind-you don't deserve to be treated that way.
2007-02-06 07:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by sunsetgirl64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He breaks up with you, goes out and does his thing, knowing that you will take him back when he tires of the other play thing. Don't let him use you that way. Be strong.
2007-02-06 07:01:10 · answer #9 · answered by Jewel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him keep doing that to you. Move on and find someone worthy of you.
2007-02-06 07:03:02 · answer #10 · answered by DL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋