Best best friend trouble?

Question

My best mate has been having trouble with her boyfriend. He told her that he wanted a break and they they should split up. They had a break and are now back together.

Anyway my boyfriend recently caught him cheating with two other girls and I told her.

She now hates my boyfriend and accuses him of stirring things, when he has no reason at all to do so.

We were all out around the clubs the other night and she ended up fighting with her boyfriend. He told her that he didnt love her etc, and was left alone outside a club, and she phoned me. As a good friend I went to meet her and gave her money for a cab home.

In the morning her bf appologized and has somehow twisted the situation to be my fault. She blames me for splitting them up even though I have only told the truth and done everything a real friend should.

She has now told me to get my nose out of her life and I even arranged for my bf and her to meet so they can talk. She doesnt want to know.

What do I do ?

Answer 1

This is called triangling.You need to just stay out of it,its unhealthy.

Answer 2

Sometimes when you try to help others, you end up getting the short end of the stick. I have seen this happen so many times before. You as a good friend feel like she should know the truth, but she does not want to accept the truth. You have to understand she is thinking with her heart instead of her head, and that almost always gets us in trouble. I would just leave her alone. Let her do some thinking and observing for herself and Guess what, I would not be surprised if in a month or two, she called you up apologizing, when he slips up again and she catches him in his own lies..

Answer 3

You know, she doesn't sound like a very good friend. I think you need to take a step back and take care of yourself. You don't need to take that kind of abuse and hurt from someone you are just trying to protect.

It sounds as though she likes the drama, and likes forcing you to live it with her. And whenever something goes wrong, it's so much more convienent to blame you then to face up to the reality that her boyfriend is a class A jerk.

Take care of yourself and your relationship first. Sometimes you have to let go of people before they sink you. I would hate for you to be dragged into her downward spiral and have your own relationship wrecked because of the stress and turmoil she's causing. Although this may sound like a harsh solution, you may feel really good once it's over and done with. And if she ever decides to grow up, then maybe you can accept her back as a friend.

But for now, she's just bleeding you dry, on all levels. She knows what the truth is - and as unfortunate as it may be you can't force her to accept it.

Answer 4

you have been an awesome friend, and thats fantastic!!!! You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. She doesn't want to leave her bf, she likes the chaos in her life, otherwise she'd wake up and see the truth. Take her advice and get out of that relationship, trust me she will come around again, she will need you when things fall apart, the important thing is, will you be there for her? with her track record, I would have to take all of that into consideration before being sucked back into that friendship and relationship w/ her bf. good luck, thats sounds like a volatile relationship all the way a round

Answer 5

Leave well enough alone. I know that it is hard, but it is only causing friction between the two of you. You have tried to be a good friend, but she doesn't want to see the truth. All you can do is be there to pick up the pieces when they're through.

Answer 6

You are so in over your head. She does not want to hear it or ever will. She needs to learn it by herself. We humans are quite stupid when it comes to relationships. We often chose the wrong thing for us while everyone else sees the truth. For your own piece of mine you and your man back away. Let her do what she may and be there when she falls.

Answer 7

She is just mad cause she know her man is not honest on what he does. She needs someone to blame besides herself. Just let her know it don't bother you that she is mad. It's not your fault that her b/f cheated and it's the truth. I would believe my best friend over my boyfriend any day.

Answer 8

This lady is truly no chum of yours. a actual chum does no longer make relaxing of you in the front of your friends. Her little trick of imitating you and then giggling about it shows all of them that that is alright to snicker at you. Going after a guy that you want is her way of showing you that she is better to you. this isn't the act of a chum. You already say that her moves are stupid and demanding. perhaps that is time to spend time with those who're no longer stupid and demanding and who truly like you and comprehend the thanks to be acquaintances.

Answer 9

give her her way,by the sounds of things it won't be long before shes' knocking at your door for help.love is blind,i actually feel sorry for her,i think her b./f is nothing but a low life.IF you do get out of her life she has only herself to blame,as far as I'm concerned you've been a good friend

Answer 10

She is not the friend you want to be with. She trusts her BF over her BFF there is an extra F in BFF wich stands for forever wich means you 2 are forever not her and her stupid BF

Answer 11

i am dealing with a similiar situation. i have learned that you have to keep giving them the truth and let them learn their life lessons on their own. too many times we try to be that everything to our friends and we only get slapped in the face. within in time when you let her learn her lesson, she'll come running back and you'll be right there saying i told you so...trust me if she is your real friend you have to be strong enough to give her tough love right now and let whatever happens happens....it will be fine:)