I'm 39 years old, with not much time left on my biological clock. My husband and I have a beautiful daughter whom we love very much. I want to start trying for another child this summer, and he is against it. When I ask him why, he simply states he doesn't. When we got married we agreed we would have two children, now he is going back on his word. I find this very hurtful and I'm starting to resent him. I don't want my daughter to grow up without a sibling. Is there any way to convince him otherwise. Please help!!!
2007-02-06 06:23:28 · 18 answers · asked by Jodi 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Instead of this being an issue. Just remind him how special it is to be called Daddy and remind him how wonderful it was to experience your daughters growing up. Her first steps. Her first words. I could go through that 1000 times and want more. Being a Father is an honnor and jsut remind him how good he is at it.
2007-02-06 06:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by Twigits 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband may have had that reaction due to the fact that you laid everything out for him, including your time table, without consideration if he even wanted another child at this point. To throw that into a conversation is a bit shocking and he may have felt that it was something you had decided on your own, thus the snotty attitude. Be aware of your husbands feelings, since his 'attitude' towards the idea should show you he's not all that in favor for going thru the baby stage again. He may feel that he has just gotten his wife back after 5 + years and is not looking forward to loosing you for another 5 + years. With your focus on your child and on school he may not feel as if your relationship is the same as it was before having a child. He may feel that having another baby will just further put a wedge in your relationship.
2016-05-24 00:12:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of things change when you have a child. I always wanted two kids but after I had my son I wasn't so sure anymore. I don't know how he feels but I know when I did find out that I was pregnant with my second I felt really guilty. I felt like I was going to be taking away from my son. That might be along the same lines of what he's thinking. You need to sit down and have him explain in more detail why he doesn't want another child. Tell him that "I just don't want another one" won't do. But at the same time you need to take his feelings into consideration too. Both of you need to listen to the other one and then make the decision together.
2007-02-06 06:33:53 · answer #3 · answered by Kristin R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you've both argued so much about it. Why don't you try talking and be honest with him and open up. He loves you and wants you to be happy tell him this will bring you both so much happiness and fill a void you've been feeling. Ask him also to explain to you why he's so against it because you don't understand. Maybe he's concerned about finances, or maybe he feels he's too old to be a father and can't handle fatherhood? Find out the real reason behind it and talk about it like adults you're in a long term marriage and can overcome any obstacles that come your way.
2007-02-06 07:08:10 · answer #4 · answered by honey27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The positive: You DO have a beautiful little girl.
Forcing your hubby into having another baby when he doesn't want to can only spell disaster. Even if you do get pregnant chances are he'll be unsupportive and resentful for being pushed into something he doesn't want. Further you could end up divorced over it. Thank God for blessing you with one child already. The only thing you can do is talk to your hubby and find out why he doesn't want another child.
2007-02-06 06:28:40 · answer #5 · answered by Jaden 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when i married i didn't want children. but i felt selfish after 10 years and my wife was getting the clock stuff too. it was the only answer to give her something she wanted that she could not have otherwise. i didn't want my daughter to have to grow up on her own and not have the experiences that i had with my sister. someday you and him won't be around and wouldn't it be nice for your child to have a sibling to share the memories and carry on the traditions of your family. if he has a heart and loves you and his daughter...tell him to stop being selfish and grow up....im not sorry but i would have been if i didn't have two. its more to love and more to be loved by...what could be better then that. good luck
2007-02-06 06:35:26 · answer #6 · answered by tpctrash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have one and you may stand to lose your husband all together and you will end up with a broken family. He may be thinking of expenses and things like that. There is nothing wrong with having 1 child. I have a brother and sister that I grew up with and I hardly ever see them. Growing up doesn't mean you will stay close for life. I have 1 child and it was because we could not afford to have another one. We make sure he is well associated with other kids his age. My husband is 1 child also and he was fine with it.
2007-02-06 06:28:40 · answer #7 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl I am in your exact same predicament.I've tried everything.We've been married 20 years (I'm 40),have a 18 year old son and I've always wanted another baby.We agreed on 3 kids before marriage,now he won't even think about it.What can we do?
2007-02-06 06:27:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is no way to make him change his mind. He will only resent you and perhaps the child if you do this. I suggest marriage counseling for you both. You need to know why he changed his mind and understand why he does not want another child. If you both cannot communicate well enough with each other to express yourselves, then counseling may help.
2007-02-06 06:26:40 · answer #9 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it a month without asking. Then ask him why not. Don't say ANYTHING else, just ask him why. And you should genuinely want to know why. And you shouldn't be asking just to see if you can use the information to change his mind. If he doesn't give you a straight answer, tell him you want to see a counselor. By yourself at first. Discuss your feelings with the counselor and get some professional advice,
2007-02-06 06:29:55 · answer #10 · answered by Waiting and Wishing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋