Why do spouses that drink say the nastiest things?

Question

My wife drinks a lot and when she’s drunk she says all kinds of things like she wants a divorce, she wishes I would just die or go away, I don’t love her and so on. My favorite is our first anniversary is next week and we are going to the Bahamas. My wife got upset and drunk last Saturday at me and said (and I quote) “Do we have this whole trip paid for already? Why don’t we just go down and screw like rabbits and then get a divorce after we get back”. Are people really that much more honest when they drink? The next day she said “let’s forget about yesterday and she couldn’t stand being without me” but I’m still floored and trying to figure out if what she said gave me an inside look at what she plans on doing.

Answer 1

I feel for you, I am in the same boat. My wife drinks a bottle of wine a night, and I am the one with all the problems. Alcohol is the true truth serum. I can't touch the stuff or I might say what I actually feel.

Answer 2

Drinking heavily does not lead to truth. Although a moderate amount of alcohol may lower inhibitions and loosen the tongue, this does not automatically mean the loose tongue is an honest one.

If she drinks a lot, as you say, it does suggest she may have a problem. If so, she will have offended others. I suggest the next time you catch her sober you confront her about her behavior when she drinks and tell her it's upsetting. See if you can get her to seek help either through AA or some similar alcohol abuse program.

Answer 3

My husband drank for many years, now hasn't had a drink in more than a year. They will do and say things that aren't them, she is confused and needs to speak to someone before it gets to bad. Try to get her to stop drinking, but remember they will only stop drinking once they want to stop, so dont push to hard. Next time she says something like that just walk out. take a nice little drive about 20 mins, not long enough for her to say you were cheating but long enough that she gets the point, come back in like nothing has happened, dont show her attention, just do soemthing you enjoy. My husband normally just comes back home and plays with his putting green for a while, it calms him down and gets his mind off of the problems. This can help with any situation that might have a hostile outcome.

Answer 4

Dude!!! For the last freakin' time. Quit whining and complaining with every breath you take. If that's all you do at home, I don't blame her for 1) drinking and 2) wanting a divorce.

Ever hear the saying, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't just be quiet?"

Answer 5

isn't it exciting the crap that we submit with from households? My husband and that i have come to the point of no longer putting up with any foolishness from everyone. Our philosophy is that existence is stressful and demanding adequate because that is - why could we positioned up ourselves to spending our funds or time with those that rigidity us out. Make a stand - no longer in an gruesome way - yet enable your thoughts be wide-spread - it is your existence and also you're not to any extent further hurting everyone through being straightforward.

Answer 6

I can under stand if maybe just once she was nasty, and rude, but every time she drinks! There is something seriously going on with her I feel that she is just settling with you, but would prefer to be with another. You do not need this kind of abuse nobody does, my mother suffered with my father most of her life, he was so evil and mean to her when he drank. When he died, she said it was a relief, and the burden of his abuse was gone do you want that for yourself think about it. Do you want to be living with this kind of treatment for the rest of your life!

Answer 7

from my experience, when someone is drunk,they dont think about what they are saying, or they dont think about others. they dont think of how it effects others or what other people feel. im not sure if its their true feelings. but something is probably wrong. she might be upset about something and the things she says when shes drunk are just things to hurt, even though she might not mean to hurt you really. maybe her problems go beyond you. i might not be making any sense, but neither do drunks.

Answer 8

It sounds like she is not happy or something is really bothering her. You two need to go to counseling and get to the root of the problem.

Answer 9

Alcohol is like truth serum .... it is really how they feel deep down. I know I speak from experience.

Answer 10

SO HON.... YES WHEN PEOPLE IS DRUNK THEY TALK SHIITTT BUT YOU BETTER PAY ATTENTION CAUSE SHE MAY HAVE SOME UNRESOLVE FEELINGS.... DID YOU DO SOMETHING TO HER?? CHEAT MAYBE?? CAUSE I DO THAT TO MY HUSBAND WHO CHEATED ON ME, BUT I DONT BE DRUNK, I JUST DO IT WHEN I GET MADD... IF YOU DIDNT CHEAT MAYBE IS SOMETHING SHE THINKS YOUR DOING OR SOMETHING SOMEONE HAS DONE TO HER IN THE PAST AND NOW YOU ARE PAYING FOR IT.. JUST TALK TO HER AND OFFER HER SOME MARRIAGE COUNSELING. GOOD LUCK.