My 11yr old girl has really developed. I have been trying for a year to get her to even speak to me about wearing a bra.
I have tried sports bras, plain bras, soft cup bras, cami's. I have tried leaving her alone and tried having her aunt and cousin talk to her.
I even offered her a day off from school to go shopping and have a "special" mom/daughter day. She said it was not worth it.
I even asked her step mom that is (25yrs) to talk to her and her father to help. No dice.
I leave for work early and her stepfather takes her to school. We are both not comfortable with him forcing her to wear one. I must of have bought a dozen different bras for her to try on and they just sit in her drawer.
I have even offered to take her and get her fitted. The last time she screammed and turned so red. The sales lady in JC Penny's came to check on us. It was very embrassing!
Please help ~ her biggest complaint they are uncomfortable. Any Tomboys HELP!
2007-02-06 05:25:55 · 26 answers · asked by ellabella0110 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I used to be a tomboy, and I never cared about wearing bras. So, I don't think the reason is because she is a tomboy. I think that there is another reason. If she doesn't want to wear something that makes her feel uncomfortable (whether it's embarassing or physically uncomfortable) she shouldn't have to wear it, no matter what you or anyone else thinks. If she is happy with how comfortable she is, you should let her continue to feel that way. I know it's hard to have your daughter go out without a bra, but she doesn't feel the need to...she may not even be ready. I remember that I grew early (about age 10.5 to age 11) and the other girls in my classes were always talking about how they couldn't wait to wear a bra, well, I thought that it would be strange for a ten year old to wear a bra. In other words, it could be the other girls at her school. Anyways, let your daughter do what feels comfortable and right.
2007-02-06 08:06:26 · answer #1 · answered by *~*RaChAel*~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her pictures of teenagers with saggy breasts.One of my school mates was a hippie with a DD cup, she didnt wear bras and now she looks lke a granny at 19.
11 is still youngish- tell her why you would like her to wear a bra (to stop sagging) but say it is her decision. Suggest that maybe she wears one for sport but not other times as its important to be supported during vigorous exercise- she might damage herself otherwise, and its easier to play.
Show her tops with secret support- they feel a little tighter than normal tops, but otherwise just the same.
Say its part of growing up, and that much as she may not like it, her body is changing.
If she really finds them uncomfortable, tell her a proper fitter is the way round that. I had a fitting recently, and it was so much better afterwards! Let her go into the cubicle on her own, so you're giving her the independance and privacy that comes with growing up.
Alongside, offer more independance and treatment like an adult, even if she doesnt submit on the bra front immediately.
Make mom/daughter days more of a regular fixture, maybe go for a film and dinner once a month, or coffee/lunch and shopping. If you can, take a holiday just the two of you- I went on riding holidays with my mum when I started school and finished my exams.
Ask her if theres anything she wants done to her room- I went through a goth phase, and though I wasnt allowed to paint my ceiling black, dying my bedlinen and curtains and painting my desk made me feel like I was being listened to.
If all else fails, dont worry too much- in the next year(s)her friends should start filling out, and then she might come round to the idea, which she also might do when her periods start.
2007-02-06 05:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by Stardust 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm definitely a tomboy, and I didn't like wearing them at first either. I also said they were too uncomfortable. I know there are summer shirts that have built-in bras that are a little better, and I'm sure they make them for winter months too. See what she thinks of those.
It might take her being embarassed at school by someone pointing it out ot her or saying something behind her back. That's an awful way of getting her to wear one, but you've tried everything else. She'll realize on her own sometime...until then you can only keep trying.
2007-02-06 10:02:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yo
i am a complete tomboy, i act like a boy i dress like aboy im very outoorsy, sporty, tough, rough, adventrous and brave etc.
And well i hated wearin bras at first!!!! I am nearly 14 now but when i was 11 i didnt wear one even though i know i should have done...but i thought they wer really itchy etc. (and i still do). However when i was 12 and a half i kinda saw that it was important to wear one, and all the other girls wore them so i started on crop tops then moved on to bras. But i wear sports bras quite a lot as i do loadza sportz (especially football, extreme sports and martial arts).
I find being a tomboy and hangin around with guys that it quite embarrisin wearin bras especially in the summer when it easier to see that people are wearin bras. So dont rush her into it but just buy a couple of bras and one day she might just put it on! Also just tel her that all girls wear them includin all the tomboys!!!! if u get her to wear one she will thankyou when shes older!!!!
ok bye bye
2007-02-07 01:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by will_youngz_number1_fan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I developed around the same age...and I distinctly remember being the only girl who was wearing a bra. In fact, there were several girls (flat chested, mind you), that kept telling me, "You don't need to wear a bra." I'm not very big chested (halfway between a B and C)...I just developed early.
It could be that she feels self-concious about developing earlier than many of the other girls, and the bra is simply a reminder of that. But as a tomboy myself, I prefer sports bras, or tight tank-top style shirts with an bra-like insert. If she wears loose clothing, it could be that the bras are simply too tight and pinching.
2007-02-06 05:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by mamasquirrel 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, a tomboy is a masculine girl who wears things like tracksuits and football kits. If you're pretending to be a boy, as in the a male then use tit tape or wear something really baggy - boys definitely don't wear any form of bras!
2016-03-29 07:54:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I am a MAJOR tomboy, dress like a boy and everything and I'm 13 and I still wear bra's. Tell her she needs to and that they feel really uncomfortable at first but once she's use to them, she'll never leave the house without one! Also tell her that every girl wears a bra when they grow boobs.. if she doesn't, she will most likely be picked on and it looks more attractive when a girl wears a bra.. yup..
2007-02-06 09:36:55 · answer #7 · answered by Julio 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was like that at a preteen when I first started to develop. I was embarassed and when my mom approached me about finally wear a bra I wanted to cry. It's a very hard time for a girl that age. You still have a child's mind but your body is going through some awkward changes.
She may be saying they are too uncomfortable to hide how embarassed she is about wearing one. Does she have any friends who wear a bra? Maybe they could talk to her. Have you tried undershirts with a built-in bra? That's what my mom did for me to get me to wear one at that age.
I would tell her that her teachers at school and other kids will start to notice that she needs a bra and doesn't wear one. If she's worried about being made fun of for wearing a bra, tell her that they might make fun of her more for what is being "exposed" through her shirt. It sounds harsh, but it might work. Good luck!
2007-02-06 05:37:43 · answer #8 · answered by Alene 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Obviously her problems are deeper than wearing a bra. She may be afraid of "growing up", she may be embarassed or feel like an outcast because other girls her age aren't developed yet, she may be getting teased about her early development at school... the possibilities are endless. She needs help - if she won't talk to you or her stepmom she needs to talk to someone. Is there someone nearer her age that she could talk with, a cousin or friend who's a more recent puberty veteran?
One thing you may try, and you'd have to be sneaky about it... Is there a teacher at her school with whom she has a relationship? You could ask that teacher to tell her in an "official" capacity that she needs to wear a bra because she can't just be all flopping around at school. She will be embarassed but it may just get her in to that bra, which sounds like a necessity at this point. Best of luck and remember what she needs most is unconditional love and acceptance and a feeling of safety and belonging with you.
2007-02-06 05:38:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
What I stared with with my daughter was the T-shirts with the built in bras then she had to wear another t shrits and a sweater (when cold) she is just shy about her body developing American Girl makes a great bunch of books to help out girls her age and start a diologe! The one book off the Top of my head is called The care and Keeping of You! it is age approperiate and It will explain things to her that she feels unready to speak to you abou yet!
2007-02-06 05:52:22 · answer #10 · answered by justwondering 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋