why does my wife turn advances for sex down. I'm 6 foot, 200 in great shape and very experienced. she says that im a freak. there is nothing that i wont do. i always make sure she gets hers, sometimes as much as three times, everytime we have sex. my thing is if it feels so great why not let me do my thing. i'm even getting turned down for oral, one way. i'm lost. don't wont to stray, but............
2007-02-06 05:15:06 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i'm self employed, we have three children. i take them to school and pick them up. clean house,cook dinner (i'm the only one that does cook) and take care of the dog. i do admit the romance isn't there. but with all that i'm doing what else can i do. i'm trying not to point but i need attention also. i've always heard if your not gettin it someone is
2007-02-06 05:30:19 · update #1
Try a different approach... maybe being a little more romantic, exciting instead of the same old approach. Think of the things you did together when you first met ... rekindle that fire so to speak. It's to be admired after 17 years with your wife you please her every way you possibly can so it's understandable you wish for her to do the same. Talk to your wife about your concerns... at least you'll be reaching out to her before going astray. Communication is the key!
And that's not necessarily always true, ''if you're not getting it someone else is''... we often become so involved in our domestic lives, kids, work, house chores, etc. that sex is the last thing on our mind. Take her out to a hotel away from the kids and home... add that level of excitement and if it works out make it a monthly type thing/date. I know quite a few couples who do this.
2007-02-06 05:33:39 · answer #1 · answered by Monique 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See a sex therapist.... You guys are having communication difficulties... and read two books, THE bibles of most sex therapists.....
For Yourself
For Each Other
both by Lonnie Barbach, both in paperback.... cheap anywhere.
And just maybe, you aren't as good as you think you are. in the bedroom........ These books will help you be an even better lover
And no, hon, don't stray.... Fix this little problem... if she won't go to therapy, tell her you are going yourself, but let her know that this is important to you, big time.... Good luck, sweetie...
2007-02-06 05:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
try to do something romantic, valentines day is coming, maybe she needs some romance in her life,maybe roll play?
it sounds like she is wanting to stray herself. maybe you can buy some food that she enjoys, strawberries,chocolate ex..
wrap a clothe around her eyes and feed her, slowly and gentle touch her arms,legs, give her small kisses, rub some chocolate
or something smooth on her lips, then have her kiss your body slowly, then slowly have her go down, be gentle, don`t push her to hard, then when your about to c*m, pull away, tease her make her want you again. atleast try it.if she pulls away completely i would be concerned, remember to tell her how much you love her and how beautiful she is to you, bring her back to feeling good about herself. just start out staring at her, like she will say what? question why is he staring at me? in her mind,
smile alot at her, flirt alittle.maybe a romantic dinne with candle light.carry her into the bed room. have fun! >:
If you try all this and that and no response ask her if there is something wrong get serious, talk with each other.
that is what i think!
2007-02-06 05:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by katana b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
confide in her your true feelings, you sound like a good man and a good father/husband. She is a lucky woman, and usually after a heart to heart, she or he will realize that they need to give the other more attention. With all that you do and all that she does it should be fantastic when you finally come together and share intimacy. Not all the time but more than you are currently experiencing. Give her a chance to make it right, maybe something is on her mind, let her talk to you, vent!
2007-02-06 05:34:51 · answer #4 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Add some romance and make it about her. Be gentle and kind instead of a freak all the time.
We are different beings than you.
Ever think that maybe she would like to be "made love to"?
Try that.
Good luck and dont stray. Divorce her first and dont put her through the infidelity. A divorce will hurt far less.
2007-02-06 05:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Well like some men, women can have problems with getting aroused. It could be hormonal. I mean you never know. I'm trying to look on the bright side. Has she gained any weight? Have you noticed a changed in how she views herself? You took your vows as have and to hold not just with yourself. Try doing things she would like to do. Let her be in control. Don't be fooled by instant gratification of finding someone else. You may run into something you don't want. It's easy to fool around, but it's even harder to find someone who loves you not matter what.
2007-02-06 05:28:30 · answer #6 · answered by dwanal 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man...my husband does that to me..He says I'm a nypho though.. How I get him to want it more, it dont bring it up. If it happens it happens, He started to wonder why I wasn't asking for it as much, then he thought well maybe I should give it to her before she gets it somewhere else ( I would never do that, but thats what he thought), but now its back to normal, only every couple of days, Personally just try doing it the way she wants it.
2007-02-06 06:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try romancing her without the pressure on the sex part. It could take some time so you will have to be patient. Try asking her about her day, and REALLY listen to her. Nothing turns on a woman more than her man being truly interested in her life, not just her body. Try going on weekend away with her. Maybe the pressures of everyday life have her bogged down......whisk her away...do it and let me know how it worked out!!!
2007-02-06 05:20:31 · answer #8 · answered by LoPi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you really need to intice her to want you. most women respond to the romantic side of things. you need to go back to basics wine and dine her and treat her like a queen then she will want you to do things to her. women do not respond to carnel sex treat her wonderful and buy her flowers have a candlelight dinner with her or take her to a hotel treat her like she is a queen and she will come around do not pressure her and take your time with her. relax and stop being so out there with your sexual desires she may feel that she cant keep up with you. she obviously did it for you at some stage so you need to re capture her desire DO NOT STRAY put the time in to your wife she deserves it she is your life partner not some two bit hussy from the street corner
2007-02-06 14:28:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason, she does not want to get intimate with you, and it's obviously not the physical aspect that is the problem.
inform her that you cannot and will not stay in a marriage that has lost it's intimate facet and ask her right out what are the issues that cause her this outright refusal.
Suggest counselling, but if this persists, does not get better and you can't do anything to change her mind, a divorce lawyer is the way to go.
2007-02-06 05:23:42 · answer #10 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋