i have a problem being conversational, at school, people say i'm too quiet, and this affects me alot socially.

Question

my tone is too low, too so its hard for me to get heard. how can i fix this. i really want to sociallise and get to know people. i hardly have any friends

Answer 1

Well, at first it's going to seem really weird because you're going to be out of your comfort zone, but if you don't make the effort to introduce yourself to others, you will never be able to improve your social skills. You should practice these skills early in life, since they will be crucial when you get out in the real world and must be able to make conections with others.
Start small, talk to people that you think you have something in common with, and this will make you more comforble talking to people.

Answer 2

I can relate to your problem. I also have trouble speaking up. For starters, try to talk louder, even if you feel that you are yelling, and see if that works. If you have trouble being conversational, try to join in a conversation with people who are nice (or who at least aren't cruel) to you, listen for a few minutes, and laugh or comment when you have something to add. Start saying hi to people more often, and ask how they're doing. If a person mentions an event or project like an exam or tennis match, follow up and ask how it went. People appreciate this kind of concern. Also, you may try finding a lonely person in the lunchroom and sitting with them. Be sure to pick someone who actually looks as if she wants company (i.e. not reading a book).

The good news is that if you're shy, you are also probably sensitive, which translates into being a better listener and ultimately a better friend. Not everyone will appreciate those qualities. In fact, you may be ignored by most people, who are shallow and tend to gravitate towards the flashier types. But you really don't need a whole raft of friends not to feel lonely. Even finding 2-4 people who you can connect with will work wonders. Maybe we will both find some good friends in the New Year! :)

Answer 3

I, too, was very shy when I was in school. I didn't start my transformation until college, so it's great that you recognize that you need to conquer your fears at this early stage. School is a good place to engage in conversation with a lot of people; so is your youth church group--at least these people aren't complete strangers (you can work up to that later). It's important to stand tall and strong--place your feet apart, straighten your back and hold your head up so that you see others in the eyes (no more looking at your feet). Practice projecting your voice across your bedroom and envision it bouncing off the wall. Of course, you won't be talking this loudly when you talk to someone else, but the visualization will be there. I think the greatest fear is that of what you are going to say to someone. You don't have to start conversations at first--just participate. Encourage others with statements similar to: I'm really interested in that topic, tell me more about it. Most of us shy people make the mistake of trying to think about what we are going to say next; thus we aren't really listening to the conversation. Keep your mind blank and stay with the conversation. Let your reactions flow out naturally to what's being said. And the big thing to remember as said by the previous posts is that you have to practice, practice, practice & yes those butterflies feel awful--just ignore them.

Answer 4

Hey sunshine,I know what your going through.You see , once when I was younger I had some problem in my throat and well what was bad about it, let me tell you - I had to change my school and in the new school, everyone hesitated to talk to me but finally I learned that even if you are quiet or talkative it does not matters because finally people are going to accept you for whom you are and then they will turn out to be your best friends.

But if you really really want to conversant with someone else then you better find a common interest,
Or find out what they like and try to break the ice that way.
Try to change yourself a little so that you can understand and talk with others in a Better way.
But remember no matter what happens never forget who you really are and never loose your genuinity(who you really are).

Oh ya one more thing if you find my answer isuseful then please select it as the Best Answer.

And hope your social life turns out great.

Answer 5

I have felt your pain. I used to be that way up until I got to be a junior or senior. I used to get picked on a lot becasue I was quiet. I outgrew it once I grew up. I did much better in the working world and after I got married. The people I went to school with for the most part were butt holes so I really didn't have anything to say to them.

Answer 6

Sunshine,
Don't worry about it too much. Being quiet is part of your personality. You are probably a better observer and listener than most people and these are admirable qualities. However, when you DO speak, you must SPEAK UP if you want to be heard. If not, no one will listen to what you have to say. So, be yourself, but express yourself clearly because what you have to say is important. Good luck to you, young lady. Focus on your grades. This will really pay off at a later date. Trust me, I speak from experience.

Answer 7

Hello there... I guess my 1st question is.. How old are you... If you are in elementary school or High school I would say that you will grow out of it but if you are in College.. you might try joining small group that are based on things you like to do.... i.e. pottery class; cooking; bible studies; or book clubs. These small groups or classes will help you to open to the people around you and thus make it easier for you to open up to others. :)

Answer 8

My son was the same way at school. Very shy and made only a few friends. Then he went to study in another city and has made friends with the same interests and studying the same subjects he told me he is now with his pier group. So maybe u should look out for people that share your interests but never change to please the people around you.

Answer 9

im the same way i dont like to talk and i like to keep isolated... my advice to you is speak to more people that you usually do and just try to talk a little louder you don't have to change yourself to please no one remember that!