about 5 years ago, i had an affair on my wife, we weren't getting along, i had quit my job, our child had been sick, she had gained weight and she cried all the time, i met this woman and we had sex 2 times, i thought i loved her until she told me she was pregnant. i told my wife and she almost left me but decided to stay because i asked her to, we found out the other woman lied about the pregnancy and i realized i loved my wife, the point, my wife is still fat and wont clean the house. she still cried all the time and is bad with bills, she did not used to be this way, she was perfect befor we got married. i'm tired of it, what should i do.
2007-02-06 05:03:02 · 26 answers · asked by im_anazz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, let's see here, did you mean what you said in your marriage vows? I have to wonder since you had an affair on your wife and not just a casual one either but long term enough that the other woman felt a connection with you as a couple. Ok, that was bad but I think what's worse is that you took another vow that said, "in sickness & in health." Your wife is obviously not healthy. Having gone through 3 pregnancies now & the weight gain that comes with that as well as the post-partum depression I consider what you have done to her to be just as damaging as those things she is already having to deal with. As if it's not bad enough that she put her body through that to have YOUR child she the obviously suffers from post-partum depression (hence the crying) and you've compounded all that by adding an affair to the mix. No wonder the poor woman has no self-esteem or enough incentive to change. Even if she didn't have PPD I would be crying all the time too knowing I had a baby with a jerk like you. What makes it even worse for her is that she loves you, God help her. What you need to do now instead of whining here is to step up & be a man for a change. Take control of yourself & be the husband & the father that God created you to be. You owe your wife more than an apology, you owe her a lifetime of making it up to her. The child you have together deserves it too. I don't think you deserve them but she has obviously given you another chance. Best thing to do is quit being so selfish & thank God for it. In sickness & in health.....show that it's more than just words.
2007-02-06 13:56:41 · answer #1 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably insecure because of what you have done.
She probably feels like you will not love her because you had left once before and broken the vows of marriage.
Women are emotional-get over it. You should be understanding and try to help her. In less then one minute you listed many of her faults. You probably do the same thing to her!
It is okay to point out your spouse's faults but come up with a way to help achieve success and overcome those things.
Be a real man, and husband. Instead of running off with another women and having a good time and leaving your responsibilites behind like: your wife feeling down, and leaving your child when they were sick, leaving your job. you should have stuck by them more.
Think about what you have done and how that has effected your family. You left her to do things on her own-how do you expect for her to react and feel.
And you actually gave a number to the amount of times that you slept with that other woman, like if twice was not that much. You're luck your wife is still standing by you and married to you! Start fixing yourself instead of looking at everyone else's faults!
2007-02-06 05:32:23 · answer #2 · answered by sweetybaby 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your avatar and handle say it all you are an_azz anyway back to your lame mind numbing question your wife dont take care of the house,cries,and is obese because she is depressed that her life haas came to nothing more than being married to some lame thats probably a big loser and doesnt show her that he loves her enough for it to matter anymore. Get off your *** show her you love her if you do i bet you would start to see her change without you having to get advice from other people or talk to her about it think about it why does any1 cry all the time WHEN THEYRE NOT HAPPY YOU MORON! and you cheated on her and told her you got the other woman pregnant what did you expect her to become your new soulmate and be happy that you infaithful ur a Loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh and by the way lil miss bump further up the page is dead on right you sorry excuse for a husband you should be lucky any femmale wants u. oh yeah i just had another idea if you're so unhappy with your wife leave her again turn her on to a good singles spot and wuit making her life hell i bet you're an abuser to if not physically i gaurantee mentally and emotionally thats evident in what youve already said its people like u that create manhaters ,lowlife
2007-02-06 05:09:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your wife is depressed . Get her counciling and yourself. She has a kind heart, but she is hurting inside . Get her help and it will be a help to all of you. The crying is a sign of depression, not caring about the house is a sign of depression, you take over the bill paying, you help with the housework a lttile more. You cook some good meals. You ask her to join you on a walk after dinner, hold hands and help her walk off some of the weight. You help her, she took you back. You thought the grass was greener on the other side and you found out it wasn't Now give her a chance to have wonderful life with the man she loves, but is afraid she is loosing. Get a councilor.
2007-02-06 05:26:11 · answer #4 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all stop calling your wife names, next remember you are the one that had the affair!!!! it sounds alittle like she is depressed maybe you need to get her some help... has something else happen to her that could be causeing her unhappiness? Maybe you guys should look into joining a gym together so you can spend time together but work on things at the same time. oh and about her being bad with bills then ask her if you can start doing them or start doing them together... There was a reason you asked her to stay with you so work on it together!
Good Luck!
2007-02-06 05:12:50 · answer #5 · answered by A Friend 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you married your wife the vows are the same as they've always been, and the same for everybody Right? For better or worse, richer or poorer and so on get it, if you really truley love your wife you would'nt of cheated in the first place and shes fat so what, Im sure you've gained a few pounds, lazy, bad at doing bills, shes the flippen mother of your kids not your bookeeper, maid, or show peace, therefore if you really love your wife HELP her out maybe suggest walking w/her, or ridding bikes, help around the house, do your ouw bills. Stop bitching.....
2007-02-06 07:52:31 · answer #6 · answered by D lux 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Got to admit, you're not looking like that much of a prize right now.
Your infidelity vs. her weight and cleaning the house. Hmm ...
Is she at home all the time with the children? Does she have the
energy to house clean, etc? Is she tired and/or depressed, perhaps
because her husband had an affair?
Losing weight without help is extremely difficult - perhaps you could
exercize together, and/or work out a diet that is good for both of you.
Your love should not be conditional on her weight, and you should
be more concerned about the health aspects of this than you seem to
be.
2007-02-06 05:07:54 · answer #7 · answered by Elana 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
be a hell of a lot more understanding?
If you love your wife who cares what size she is? as long as she is not unhealthily overweight, it shouldn't matter, especially not to the one person supposed to support her!
How would you like it if she had an affair and said it was coz you were ugly? You are damn lucky she decided to take you back, think about that.
Reading your other questions, she is working and is having a hysterectomy, if she is working and looking after the kids then maybe you should do the cleaning.
And perhaps she is crying all the time because she is having the hysterectomy? she may need support during that, not a whinging husband.
I really h ope these posts are just to create trouble and not coz you really are that insensitive
2007-02-06 05:08:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
what i dont understand is that you are taking no responsibility for your own actions it seems. you cheated on your wife with this woman who you supposedly loved and when the consequences became scary you decided to go back to your wife. if you have a problem with the way she looks or her housekeeping skills then you need to talk about it, go to counseling or something. because obviously your feelings are the question and it sounds like your making her miserable too. nobodies perfect and sometime in the near future you need to realize this or your going to lose her.
DO YOU HELP CLEAN? DO YOU HELP DO THE BILLS? grow up!
2007-02-06 05:17:52 · answer #9 · answered by jluke4u 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you definately have your name right......
Can you not see past the physical part of all this? My GOD.
She is totally depressed about something. You are not making it any better by being the azz you say you are.
If you honestly love your wife, then help her, support her and get her some help. This is not her fault.
She needs to see a doctor and get back on track. It could be as little as a couple months till she is back to normal.
Dont be so selfish as to think about yourself all the time. Your wife needs you and you are lucky she stuck with your sorry @$$ after you betrayed her in her lowest time.
Get your head outta your butt and do what you need to do and be a man for crying out loud!!!!
2007-02-06 05:08:44 · answer #10 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋