Ok so my parents are divorced and my dad lies to my face and twists words around so he acts like the good guy in any situation. He blames me for stuff. He has even told me i cost to much money. I have a really hard time trusting guy's now. I think he has completley screwd up my life. Nobody ever listens to me or understands how hard it is. I am falling apart and i think i am going to lose my mind if i have to see him or talk to him again.
Do you think that i should have the parenting time suspended forever? Do you think that he diserves to be a parent(i don't)?
Need opinions here?
2007-02-06 04:54:43 · 22 answers · asked by HorseLover#1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How about you refuse to go see him anymore? If you can explain to your mother why you don't want to see him any longer on his weekend visits, go for it. Explain to her what you have posted here. Once you get older you can try and build a relationship with him again, with YOU setting the ground rules.
Sounds like dad is trying to put you in the middle of the divorce. Too bad he can't be an adult. Probably explains why your folks are split.
Good Luck!
2007-02-06 05:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by tallerfella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you 'can' have his 'parenting time suspended forever' ... that is something that only a 'court of law' may do, and you may be too 'young' to have your 'opinions' respected in a court of law. You should talk to your mother first, and ask for her 'help' ... because it may be that only she can actually 'sue' for 'no visitation' ... but you should also be aware that getting the court involved means that if you 'change your mind' and want to see your father again for any reason, you may not 'be allowed to' by the court. You write 'well' even though you have 'misspelled' some words, so I'm guessing that you are a 'teenager' so your 'best bet' might be simply to 'visit your dad' when his 'visit time' is scheduled, and just 'live with his lies and hatred'... which can be 'extremely easy' for you if you can just remember that what your dad 'thinks and/or says' don't have to 'influence you' in ANY WAY. All you 'must do' is 'put up with him' because that is what the court has 'ordered.' I know that it is 'hard' for you and that you think that 'nobody ever listens or understands how hard it is' ... but I think that you are 'putting onto someone else' the responsibility for a 'fix' for you that may not even be possible. No one should 'deserve' to be a parent, because EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES and unfortunately many of those mistakes 'hurt' our children. As 'a child' your job is simply to 'try to grow up to be the BEST I can be' and if that means that you must 'endure' your dad and try to 'ignore his ravings' then maybe 'just doing it' will actually HELP YOU TO UNDERSTAND what it means to be 'the BEST you can be.' So ... go 'talk with' your mom, but if you don't get the answer you 'want' I have at least given you the best 'advice' on how to 'deal with your dad' when you must visit him. Remember, all you are doing is 'visiting' and you don't have to 'listen to and take in' anything he says ... and that also should mean that you may be 'wary' of men after this, but that you should also be able to 'give them room' to be who THEY ARE and not 'see all men as your father is' because you should know that all men are not 'bad' ... you simply must 'look for a good man' to be your husband, lover, and you have a WONDERFUL EXAMPLE of the 'BAD' to help you make the 'right choice' for yourself.
2007-02-06 05:45:40 · answer #2 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Dad sounds like a jerk. You don't mention your age, but keep in mind before you know it, you'll be an adult. Time flies - trust me. Speak with a school councillor or a teacher - they are adults that WON'T think your Dad looks like a good guy. There are ALOT of people out there that shouldn't be parents - just promise to be a good one when your time comes. I know that it seems like the end of the world when you have problems at home - it really isn't. My father was strict and I contemplated suicide when I was a teen. Thank God - I didn't do it. Now, I'm 40, have 2 great teens of my own, and my Dad has passed away. I laugh now at how much drama I felt when I was a teen. It WILL pass. Good Luck!
2007-02-06 05:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as someone who lost there dad to cancer at a very young age I'd say.... No you shouldn't stop seeing your dad. I promise you later in life you will regret it. Why not go to counsiling to find out how to better deal with him? Or better yet see if he'll go to counsiling WITH you? That way you can both talk about issues and perhaps get some help on how to relate to one another better. I know parents are a hard thing to deal with... but just giving up on your dad isn't the right thing to do. Give it a try if it fails then cut your losses but if it works you'lll have a dad and friend for the rest of your life. And that is SO important.
2007-02-06 05:02:02 · answer #4 · answered by Glitterygrrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you're still a minor (under 18), and your dad has even partial custody, you're going to have to get your mother to prove that he's an unfit parent. So talk to your mom about this, and see what she says. You might need some counseling as well, especially if you have a hard time trusting men. Your dad isn't all men, he's 1 man. You just sound like a teenager here to me. And the way you feel is completely normal, because all teens think that their parents don't understand them.
And no, I don't think he needs his parental rights severed, unless he's being abusive.
2007-02-06 05:00:55 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably pissed because he has to pay lots in child support. It's NOT your fault that the marriage didn't last. That's the main point here. He is takings things out on you and no one deserves that kind of treatment. I would look into the Department of Children and Family Services. Let them know what is going on. Maybe they can help you with your problem. They take things seriously if no one else is listening to you. Let them know exactly what he is saying and doing. They might help you find a counselor. Don't lose faith in all guys. He is messing with your mind. Just try to ignore it and try to not spend time with him. What does your mom have to say about it?
2007-02-06 05:04:49 · answer #6 · answered by zumi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish my girls could see there fathers faults. He uses them just like he used me. He has lived with two of the daughters for free. He can't watch the grandkids because of his health(which he plays to his own advantage.) He is able to ride his motorcycle all of the country in all kinds of weather. He drinks, smokes and does all kind of work for his girlfriend, mows her lawn, paints, builds her a shed , etc. this list is too long. He is too tight to send flowers to his only uncle funeral , but buys his girlfriend diamonds. Tells, his grandchildren he can't afford much so he gives them savings bonds. that cost him $12.50 each. He lies so much he does not even know what the truth is. He makes sure he goes back to his own place each night so he can tell the girls he and his girlfriend are just friends. He is such a work or art. He has messed up the girls for all his lies. His one daughter is now following in his footsteps, she has been cheating on her husband and calling it friendship. They have learned to lie from the expert. If you come back to your apartment each night they do not call it and affair. Yet, she is not sure if the last grandson is her husbands. Thank goodness you see the light. tell me how my girls will finally see the light of day. He is such a charmer and has lied so much even he doesn't know the truth. But it does not make a good parent and screws everyones life up. I think you dad needs to be shown the door to your life until he can get his head on straight. Good for you for seeing thur the man. I know you love him and he is your dad, but you deserve only the best life can offer and he sure is not it.
2007-02-06 05:13:57 · answer #7 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband does the same thing to my boys. He is verbally abusing you and if he truly loved you he would not lie to you and talk to you that way. I think that you should do what makes YOU happy, am not sure how old you are but you do not deserve to spend time with someone who treats you that way-relative or no relative-can you talk to your mom about this or maybe a counselor or close relative? It sounds like your dad is taking his anger and frustrations out on you simply because you're convenient. You don't deserve that or need that in your life.
2007-02-06 04:59:35 · answer #8 · answered by Olivia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to mom or another family member give yourself distance from dad my dad was the same way but as far as your too much money that's tough for him he has to support you until your 18 and if not did you know you can sue him for back child support -if he does not -YOU can .Find a job un the mean time and do good in school. I know it's hard but you can do it good luck! :)
2007-02-06 05:03:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your dad is doing borders on emotional abuse. Tell your mom and the social worker who handles your case that you don't want to see your dad anymore, or if you must, that your time together be supervised. If you deliver your messge firmly and calmly, they will be more likely to listen to you.
Ask your mom to enroll you with a therapist so that you can talk through and overcome your distrust of men.
2007-02-06 05:05:32 · answer #10 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋