For the past 5 years I have had what I thought was a close, good friendship with a girl down my road. We both have children of the same age etc. Now whilst she was and still is happily married I was single so it was to my house she would come to sit, chat have a glass of wine etc.
Last year I had the good luck to have a wirlwind romance and got married. We have moved house - but only a few houses down the road - in fact closer to my friend.
My door has remained open to her.
Unfortunately she makes it clear she is not fond of my husband, her husband came across for a drink with mine whilst I was out and simply took a bottle of wine without asking, returning it the next morning saying oh K**sten doesn't like white, is quite demanding and is constantly telling me I have changed etc.
I am getting increasingly fed up with it. I have not said anything back merely let her say whatever she wants etc. But I no longer feel comfortable with her and so thought clearing the air would help?
2007-02-06 04:46:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I would like to add she has been increasingly awkward since I found out I was pregnant.
And whenever she would come across (often twice a week) it was always me that provided the wine/chocolates and food.
I now feel that she just likes to judge people.
2007-02-06 04:48:04 · update #1
Sit down with her and ask her why she doesnt like your husband. It is maybe that she feels like your closeness is threatened by the new interests in your life (your husband, your new baby).
She is acting like a jealous child and you should let her know how hurt you are especially seeing as you've been there for her for the past five years and she should be happy that you are happy.
I will never think any guy is good enough for my best pal but there is no way I would treat her like this.
Congratulations with the new husband and baby they are your main priority at the moment!
2007-02-06 04:55:05 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might help, but it might also put her in her place and teach her to call first- IF she wants to continue to be friends. Ya think there is some animosity because of the baby on the way? Maybe all the attention it brings you, or just the jealousy that she doesn't have a child? Possibly she is jealous of the newness of your relationship? Sounds like a leech to me, just looking for a reason not to be at her own house. Quite immature, while circumstances have occurred that require you to grow up- Not so with the neighbor. We can't all play and drink and eat chocolates all day long- Unless of course you have no responsibilities...Explain that to her, along with the fact that you really her friendship, but you enjoy your privacy as well.
2007-02-06 12:59:05 · answer #2 · answered by juicy13500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She isnt a good tru friend it takes time actually to be able to find that stuff out. Which is the bad part you put alot of time and energy and share things with someone u think is ur best friend then they do sh*t like that. Sounds like she liked you when u was single and alone and she had the big family and u was just all to her when she needed someone. You need to forget her u got you a man you dont need a childish person like that, sounds like she's jealous and can't stand the fact u got someone. Might even mean she anit as happy in her marriage as maybe she lets on. She might be upset cause she see's u happy and having a baby. You don't deserve to have a friend treat u like that. I'd say screw her tell what you think, that she should be happy 4 u. Or ignore her let her be immature.............. find u other ppl to call friends.
2007-02-06 12:56:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she is jealous of your husband somewhat. She enjoyed the alone time with her gf and is missing it, not knowing quite how to deal.
She seems to be quite childish in alot of areas as well. She may not have you to herself anymore, but making comments about your hubby is never a good idea. She doesnt have to like him, you are her friend, not him.
I would try talking to her, explaining your feelings and being adult about it. Dont be harsh or upset. Simply tell her that the comments are not welcomed and ask her why she has changed. That you didnt intend for anything to change, but want to be happy as well.
Hopefully she will come clean with her true feelings and you two can move on.
If she continues in the same arrogant manner, then simply chalk her up as a former friend and move on. You dont need negativity in a new marriage causing havik.
And as for stealing the wine....gees....what kind of people are they? I mean, being comfortable is one thing, but just taking things is another. I would say getting in the frig for a cola would be fine, but taking an entire bottle of wine without asking? Not good. I would definately make it clear that it was disrespectful to say the least. And her hubby was the one who took it? Does she honestly have room to talk about yours? I think not.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-06 12:59:20 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she wants you all to herself. She hates having to share your attention with anyone else. I would try talking to her about things. If that doesn't help I would end the friendship for good. Friends are wonderful to have but you have a family now that has to come first. And her jealousy of you and your happiness will only get worse. And your new family and you should be able to enjoy your lives and all the wonderful things coming your way.
2007-02-06 12:57:44 · answer #5 · answered by navy wife 1996 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to ur feeling and take her out of ur life ... someone called a friend wouldnt act like she does ... i think she is jealous of u ...dont bother much about her , it will be her loss as i am sure that she wont find such a nice friend as u are soon again !!! enjoy ur happy life and stay away from people which cant handle with the hapiness of the people around them :-)
all the best for you
2007-02-06 12:56:01 · answer #6 · answered by athina68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
come right out and ask her what the problem is. it sounds to me like shes insecure and not happy with her own life. so it could be shes jelous of you and your preganancy. things are going good for you and maybe not for her. so just talk and if you can't clear the air then tell her to stop coming over until she can get her act together.
2007-02-06 12:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is totally jealous of u! and of course u should confront her....u shouldn't let anyone treat u like that...the wine thing was just evil!and who is she to judge your husband...it seems to me she barely knows him so don't let her continue with this...u don't have to fight with her just tell her what bothers u and hopefully she'll try to improve her behaving...but if she is still a b**** stop being friends with her once and for all!
2007-02-06 13:11:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her and if she doesnt be nice enough to be civil after that to your husband and then she is not a friend, because if she was a friend she would be happy just by you being happy
btw congratulations on your pregnancy :-)
2007-02-06 12:53:52 · answer #9 · answered by lozzi_pop22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on the baby news!! Real friends don't judge you criticise you or belittle you. Don't even bother talking to her just get on with your life.
2007-02-06 12:57:47 · answer #10 · answered by emmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋