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Okay my best bud and I have known each other and been hanging out together since we were in second grade. A few months ago he told me he was gay and I'm totally cool with it. But lately he's been kind of patting me on the butt in a friendly way. I don't know if it means anything or what, but it weirds me out a little. I don't want him to think I hate him or anything, because I don't, but I guess I'm scared he might start putting the moves on me eventually or something. What should I do?

2007-02-06 04:37:36 · 10 answers · asked by Sebastian 2 in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

yeah I'm straight. Sorry, maybe I shoulda mentioned that.

2007-02-06 04:52:25 · update #1

10 answers

Any kind of unwanted touching, LGBT or straight, should be addressed immediately.
You should tell your friend that you do not want to be touched in that way - if you can do this calmly, then you can still show that you support him as a friend.

2007-02-06 04:40:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

It might be I suppose -- but I must say, my straight friends and I are and always have been very affectionate, and I'm not after them -- would I pat them on the butt? Yeah if I felt like it, and they might pat me there too -- on the other hand we all know no one has hangups and no one is doing more than being friendly and having fun. He should have made sure how comfortable you were first.

Show him this message if you are embarrassed to tell him.

To Sebastians best bud -- He luvs ya kid, but not sexually and he doesn't want to be an *** but he doesn't want you to get hurt either, so if you are fooling around cause you trust him and its safe -- cool -- just let him know that's what it is and it'll all be fine.

Peace and joy,

Reyn
believeinyou24@yahoo.com

2007-02-06 06:15:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

By patting you on the butt, he IS putting the moves on you. If you are uncool with it, do yourselves a favor and tell him now. Tell him you like him as a friend, and you understand he might be newly excited about coming out, but you aren't going to change the way you are just because he is gay. Keep in mind that being young and gay can be difficult and confusing for a lot of people. It's best to make things crystal clear, but you don't need to be mean about it.

2007-02-06 04:51:59 · answer #3 · answered by Scruzzer 3 · 0 0

Congratulations on being a man. It's great that you're cool with his sexual orientation and not allowing it to dissolve your friendship.

As for the butt patting...I agree with the others. The next time he pats your butt just tell him calmly, "Ya know, that kind of weirds me out." He will understand (and probably apologize) and you can move forward with the friendship.

2007-02-06 04:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by behrmark 5 · 1 0

If you were gay I'd say "Carpe Scrotum!", but since you're not I'd let him know that it makes you feel uncomfortable and that in the future all pats he wants to give you should never be below the shoulder blade area. Then slug him in the arm with a smile.

2007-02-06 05:18:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Sebastian just tell him that you feel a little uncomfortable that he should pat you below the belt. Tell him that you'd rather he pat you on the shoulder.

Better yet ask him if he fancies you and then let him know that you don't want your friendship to spoil but you're not built to fancy him.

2007-02-06 05:10:41 · answer #6 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0 0

I think u should just tell him right out and say don't pat me on the butt ever again for it's just too weird for me. I'll be glad just to still be friends.

2007-02-06 04:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0 0

Communication is the key.
If he has been your best friend for so long, then he should know your sexual preference.

Either make it known that you are interested in someone else, or make it clear you would never be interested in him.
I'm sure you have given him your support after he told you he was gay, so make sure he knows its not that and tell him how you feel.
Good luck.

2007-02-06 04:52:13 · answer #8 · answered by katy k 2 · 0 0

You didn't mention your sexuality, are you straight? If you ever feel that he has cross the line with you then you need to let him know how you feel about it.

2007-02-06 04:43:40 · answer #9 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 0 0

If he's your best bud, why can't you ask HIM?
If you can't ask him directly, why not copy the text of your question and hand it to him (or mail it) for him to read and answer?

2007-02-06 04:41:59 · answer #10 · answered by E V 3 · 0 0

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