I am 26 years old and my ex fiance is 30. We were in a 7 year relationship. He left me 2 months ago. He told me he wasn't in love with me anymore and he moved out. 2 weeks later I found out that my now ex best friend and him are together and he moved in with her. We planned to have a baby in October and I actually got pregnant right away - I am now 4 months pregnant and he says that he will be there for our child... I don't understand why he gave up on our life together as a family after we planned this. What do I say to him to make him realize has broke my heart, but I want him to walk away from her and come back to his soon-to-be family? I've asked him to come back already, but he told me that he can't just walk away from her because he cares about her...what about me and the baby??? I don't want to give up but he told me time has passed and he moved on. I can't accept this without a fight! I know I sound desparate but maybe he is waiting to hear the right words from me...
2007-02-06 04:36:00 · 17 answers · asked by ~Why~ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I can not believe you would want him back if he is living with your best friend. He doesn't deserve you.
Do not sell yourself short, you are better than that. Keep your head up high, and put your energy into being the best Mom you can be. Being desperate will get you nowhere...believe me your best option is to be the best you can be, and allow him to be the father, he will always be a part of your life as long you have his child. You should pity your friend for ending up with him. She will have to accept that he has a baby with you.
2007-02-06 04:47:31 · answer #1 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, it seems to me your best friend was not really your best friend. Try to make some kind of plans with your ex and talk to him. Tell him the little things that no one notice. That makes him realize that you do care about him and you take time to notice the little things. Bring up all your memories and your plans you had together. Tell him you dont want to give that up. Make him realize how much you love him. He will start to think about what you have done for him that your best friend wouldnt. Maybe he will come back to you. Maybe this is just a fling. How long has it been? 2 months? He might be scared and feels he is rushing into things with you. Give him time to think about his feelings for you. If it is true love he will come back. This happened to me and it took 6 months for us to realize our love for each other. Now we are happily together. Just try not to beg him, or annoy him about it because that will drive him away. Right now you need to focus on you and your baby. Stress is not the way to go with pregnancy. Do what you want to do and think about yourself and get to know your self FIRST before trying to get back together with your ex. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!! Best of wishes!
2007-02-06 04:51:38 · answer #2 · answered by cali b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweet heart i am sorry for what you are going through. first of all everything happens for a reason. she was not your best friend that is for sure and he is not the right man for you. why would you even want to be with a man who could do something that horrible to you?even if he were to come back to you which i do not see that happening why would you want him?? it is better that you found out what sort of cunniving two faced people are in your life now rather then go through life and have this happen to you later on. if he can do this to you i know it is hard to hear or to face he really doesn't love you. when you love some one you could never contimplate on hurting them the way he has you. right now what you need to do is to figure out what to do. you have a baby on the way who needs a strong mother. you need to take him to court and get as much money out of him as possible, considering you do not make a baby and then say you do not want to take care of it later. i hope you have some sort of education to back you up. if you do not consider going to school. in school you will develope the skills and knowledge to help you get a good job. you can meet people who do not have the same moral corruption as the man that just did this to you. you are better off with out him. i know you do not see this right now. you are in a very vulnibral state right now because you are pregenent. do you have family around you who can help you through this hard time? i sure hope you do. if you do not feel free to email me when you need some one to vent to. are you a religious person? if so put some energy into that. don't allow yourself to dwell on this man. i know it is easy to say but you HAVE to be stronger then this. if not for you but for the sake of that innocent child growing inside of you. the more you push this guy the more he is going to just push away from you any ways. i just wish i could be there for women in your circumstance. it is a horrible tragedy in what has happened to you and i am truly sorry but just move on.
2007-02-06 04:50:52 · answer #3 · answered by wedjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want your ex-back? I'm not trying to soundlike an a s s, and I apologize if I do. However, I can relate to how you feel. When I got a divorce I wanted my ex- back, because I thought I was in love with her, but I moved out of state pulled my head out of my a s s and realized I was better off without her.
I also happen to believe that everything happens for a reason, good bad or otherwise.
2007-02-06 04:42:24 · answer #4 · answered by evil_paul 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not waiting for the right words, you just weren't the right person. I was with my ex for 17 years we broke up and 17 mos later he was married to his neighbor. Sometimes we just have to accept that that person wasn't the right person no matter how hard that is. I can honestly say, after all is said and done almost 4 years later, I am much happier than I thought I ever would be!
2007-02-06 04:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by jojonjesse 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The more you pester him the more you will push him away, you need to give him the impression that you accept his decision and want to move on, you will gain his respect this way, and then if he wants a reconciliation he will probably contact you.
A period of no contact would be best, that way you can both have some space to think, although a third person in the triangle does make it difficult, you need to stick to your plan. You have yourself to think of and your unborn baby.
Perhaps reconciliation is not possible, if that's the case you need to move on, I know it's difficult but he has left you.
Good Luck Leigh
2007-02-06 04:57:22 · answer #6 · answered by leigh w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT????? Why would you want him back. Who cares how long you were together. He left you for your best friend. Both people suck and they need to suck without you. He can be there for your children when he writes the checks to support them. You deserve better. Is your name Britany Spears? No? Than let Kevin Federline go on his way without hurting your life anymore than he already has. You are not damaged goods you can find a man that loves you for real and will love your children as their own. Leave this guys 100% and don't look back, only look forward. It is very hard because your heart still belongs to him. Take your heart back and get your head on straight and go forward.
2007-02-06 04:43:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie. I know expecting a baby with someone makes you wnt them, but if he is already living with your ex best friend odds are they were together before you broke up. Do you really want that kind of heartache in yours and your baby's life? Focus on what really matters, your baby. You are to good for him anyways. There are no magic words that will make him come back. I wish you and your baby well, you will be better without him and stronger to!
2007-02-06 04:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by daisy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW!
Thats a shame! That guy is a complete jerk! I know you care about him, but face it, he left you and your pregnant. Thats just one guy that is not manly enough to face his problems. The child your carrying is his, and he knows that, but he doesnt want to leave his life and give the baby a life that is PERFECT!
You have to explain to him that it hurt you. Try to express your feelings. I recently found out that my ex was cheating on me, i didnt know what to do! We were dating for 3 years and he just gave up on me and was not manly enough to tell me that he didnt want to be with me anymore. (i didnt get pregnant)
People who love eachother, dont fall out of love, nor does love diminish. This guy may not have loved you from the beginning and may have just given up on you because he realized that. I once knew very nice 26year old woman who was geting married and her fience left her at the hospital.
I think that you need to make VERY clear that you want him in you baby's life. If he doesnt love you, at least he should love his child. Just because he can have a child with a different lady doesnt mean that he is going to love that baby any more. If he cant love the child that your carrying, a different woman doesnt make a difference because the child that you have and the child the other woman may or will have is sitll his felsh and blood. A man should love his children no matter which mother they come from, the point is that its HIS CHILD!!!
Also, there are so many guys out there that can probably give you and your child a better life than this guy who left you after telling you he loved you. And there are other guys who will love that child as if it were his own, because he LOVES YOU! My parents were divorced, i hated my biological father, tho my mother made sure to keep me in contact with him. My step dad was WONDERFUL! sometimes i wished that he were my actual father because he was such a nice man.
Go looking for another guy! You should have faith in yourslef that you can take care of your baby and yourself. YOU CAN DO IT!
Surround yourself with people who love you and will help you with your baby. Maybe uncles or grandparents, parents cousins......whatever! At least let there be some type of prominent male figure in you child's life. If you dont find someone else, at least have someone who can give your child an impression of what a good father should be. Its not enough for a father just to be there, a father has to make an impact on your child's life! Obviously the man you that once said he loved you, doesnt see that, and you dont want that for your child!
2007-02-06 04:50:50 · answer #9 · answered by Leelah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
know what, no matter how hard you try to convince him, if he really don't want you anymore, nothing can stop him... move on... he cheated on you, he can do that again....
would you prefer having him but your not happy 'cause he will just cheat you... or be alone with your baby and have a better future ahead... its his loss not yours.... he will realize that in GOD's time...
everything happens for a reason... so letgo of the pressure.... letgo of him... don't let your baby feel that your sad, instead, let yor baby feel that you're strong and you have pride...
good luck! God bless...
2007-02-06 04:46:48 · answer #10 · answered by tinkerbel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋