Why do so many people compare their children to others?

Question

I find that when I am reading a lot of questions on here, many people want to know what age their child should do this or that. Why is that nobody can understand that all kids are different and every child learns at different times. I mean my 5 month old is doing stuff that my cousins 7 month is just learning, why? because her baby was 2 months early, so its expected that her child is going to learn things at a different time. I just find that so many people want to compare their children and once they hear the answers, Im sure they being thinking their child is behind. I know most people answer with a range, but its always the same thing, every baby is different.

Answer 1

It drives me crazy when someone that has a child that is the same age as my son would say things like he doesn't do ________ or ___________ yet. My son was almost 3 months early, but now that he is 2 he has caught up. People need to realize that just because their child might do something sooner than another child that it doesn't make them smarter.

Answer 2

For most parents, it's because they are looking for reassurance that their baby is developing normally. Really, there is no way to gauge this other than by comparison, whether you are comparing your child's development to another baby, or to what a doctor says is right, or to where a book says your child should be for their age.

There is a reason that there are average timelines for developtment - but the key word there is "average." Parents must keep in mind that there are always children who reach certain milestones sooner, and those that reach them later, and those that never reach them - for instance, my cousin went straight from belly scooting to walking, with never "regular" crawling at all. There is nothing wrong with comparisons, as long as a parent recognizes the fact that not all children follow the same development patterns and timeline.

Answer 3

It's human nature to want your child to be smarter, prettier, more talented, etc. First time moms ask a lot of questions because we don't know what's 'normal' and we don't know when to worry. We think maybe we're not doing something right, like not giving enough tummy time so they'll be able to raise their head. Or giving cereal too early or too late. People tell us to follow our instincts, but we've got so much information coming in from so many different sources it can be confusing. I think comparing our children, is twofold, first, when our kid does something early it just proves what we already know, that our kid is the smartest in the world. Second it just gives us an idea of what to expect and when to get worried, or when to not get worried.

Answer 4

People compare their children with others to validate how well of a job they are doing themselves. It is hard to tell when a child is of such a little age how they are developing mentally. With autism as prevalent as it is and young mothers knowing that the earlier it is detected the easier it is to treat, it is good that so many ask questions about their children's developments. Where are they suppose to do it if not here? I have tried to call my child's pediatrician, all I get is a run around about bringing the child in for a visit.

Answer 5

Many parents are insecure in themselves as parents and they worry that their children are not growing or developing properly. Also the stimuli available to the child and the way the child has (or has not) formed a secure base with the parent (through attachment and bonding) plays a crucial role in the child's ability to explore and try new things. As new parents many people are unaware of these things. Parents need to learn to encourage their children to develop at their own speed, that is the only way their child will flourish!

Answer 6

Because we all think our baby is the cleverest, prettiest, more agile, more advanced, best looking, most marvellous baby that ever graced our planet, and to each individual the baby is exactly that!
Sometimes we just like to hear someone else say, yes, your baby is advanced, yes your baby is beautiful, it's human nature, by receiving this sort of reassurance we go away feeling we are doing a good job.
And yes all babies are different, but it doesn't hurt to just see on the sliding scale whereabouts you think yours might be......

Answer 7

Ehm..
There are numerous documented benefits and advantages of teaching children to read early on, and teaching them to reading using phonics and phonemic awareness instructions. It is clear that early language and reading ability development passes great benefits to the child as they progress through school at all grades, and that early language and reading problems can lead to learning problems later on in school.

For a simple, step-by-step program that can help your child learn to read visit this web site: http://readingprogram.toptips.org
Hope it helps.

Answer 8

you are comparing your baby to your cousins baby. (yes to prove a point but still) So everyone does it. People want their children to grow up too fast. They want them to talk and walk and roll over and do everything early. It's not healthy, but it happens. People say "my child did this first so they are smarter" which isn't true. But people aren't going to stop comparing children.

Answer 9

Its usually first time parents that ask these questions, I know w/ my first I had a lot of extra dr appt for my baby cause she wasn't where the books said "she should be". Needless to say I threw away the books w/ my second. I call it first time mom syndrom, lol.

Answer 10

I agree with you, every baby is different. A lot of first time moms just need some reassurance though.