I have played second fiddle to ALL my husbands family since day one , despite cruel things being said to me and a foul mouthed swearing sister in law- Husbands brothers wife- I can take no more- he NEVER puts any of them in their place or backs me up I am so hurt and have always shown him 100% loyalty- he wants anything for a quiet life -is scared to upset anyone except me it seems.how can i make him see he is destroying our 17year marriage?
2007-02-06 04:05:48 · 13 answers · asked by PenB 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for your answers, i have got him to counselling once and from day one I have argued with him about his lack of loyalty- I have not been a dormat- my sister inlaw in particular loves stirring up trouble where she can, she doesnt love my brother in law and has had an affair etc etc- we dont all quit on marriage at the first hurdle- but maybe now is the time to give up!!!??
2007-02-06 04:15:59 · update #1
If this has been going on for 17 years it is going to be difficult to show him now. He's been a wuss for all this time and it's going to take a lot for him to grow some sack and stick up for you.
If you truly can't take it anymore, put the ball in his court. Tell him to make a choice. Either DEMAND that his family treat you with respect or you're leaving.
You've been putting up with this for way too long. He needs to be a husband. That should come first before anything else. Good luck.
2007-02-06 04:10:45 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to just talk to him and see where he stands. If you have been married for 17 years and you have been putting up with this that long then that shows you really do love him. Now if you live with the family you need to move out on your own. You need to see if he is happy and wants to continue your marriage. If he loves you enough he will need to stand up for you and tell them that they can;t disrespect you. However, you need to make sure at the same time you are not disrespectful.
2007-02-06 04:22:10 · answer #2 · answered by Tim VP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes Leo husband and Leo wife can make a very good pair. I know a Leo husband and wife. His birthday 8/12 and her birthday 8/10. They got married in 1983 and they are still married.
2016-03-29 07:47:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 17 years of this crap, you should have put your foot down a long long time ago. Why did you take that treatment for so long?. you should had nipped it in the bud, right away. By going along with it, this long is like telling them I'm your scape goat. Everyone can crap on me! do what you have to to make you husband see that you've had enough.. good luck
2007-02-06 04:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 17 years why do you think hes going to see hes destroying your marriage? You've been quiet so he thinks its easier to keep you happy than them, you haven't squeaked so you get no oil. Talk to him and if he insists on making his family happy only then consider leaving. Or maybe a move to a more distant place would do.
2007-02-06 04:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never be able to teach him this if he does not know it already. May i suggest marriage counseling here. You will need to start standing up for yourself in this situation and you may want to not see his family much anymore if he is going to keep on doing this.
2007-02-06 04:17:52 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are going through. My husband's family speaks a different language and they would talk about me to him and then he would tell me what they said. When I would ask what he did, he would say nothing. I told him that I wasn't going to make him choose between me and his family, but that if he wanted us to work, he would have to start standing up for me. He told me he had a fear that if he told them not to talk about me then they wouldn't want to talk to him anymore. He finally cut off communication with them and when they asked why he told them that it was because of the mean things they said about me and did to me and that if they couldn't accept me then they just didn't need to talk to him. They quit what they were doing and we are all friendly now.
2007-02-06 04:43:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key. If that doesn work and you really want to save ur marriage, suggest a counselor for the both of you
2007-02-06 04:09:00 · answer #8 · answered by Miss Thang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is in the middle, and it is hard for him to take sides, but he should be willing to shut them up for you... How can you make him? Well if the circumstances are that you have done nothing wrong, you shouldn't have to anything, your husband should be stepping in and stopping this non-sense.
2007-02-06 04:11:40 · answer #9 · answered by St.Jeb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you have been the source of your problems. It's been that long and NOW you want to makes changes? You played the door mat game and it's either stick with it or quit.
2007-02-06 04:10:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋