How to make a teenage boy stay on task?

Question

My friend's son, 15 years old, has a very hard time staying focused on anything. It takes him two hours, literally, to do a few dishes. It takes him 3 hours to do 30 minutes worth of homework. He can take from the time he gets home from school until suppertime to eat a snack. Not doing anything else in the meantime. Just munchin' on the snack. He's easily distracted, but he's a brilliant child, all Advanced classes, etc. The advanced classes are totally his idea, but his parents have to stay after him to get his homework done so that he can go to bed. The teachers say that it is just his personality. Procrastination is not a good personality trait. Especially when he's looking to start working within the next year. He will get the job done quickly if he has something that he wants to do, or if he has a time limit. But always setting time limits gets humdrum to both him and his parents. And a boss isn't going to be that patient. What can his parents do?

Answer 1

Have you thought to ask HIM what will keep him on track? Maybe listening to music while he does his chores (dishes, etc) will help. As far as homework, he might need something (like soft music, instrumental or something like Enya, but NOT TV and turn the computer off) in the background and a little notebook beside him while working so that he can jot down anything that comes to mind. Sometimes doing this can help keep a person on track, as they won't feel an urgency to jump up and DO the thing that just came to mind so they won't forget it.

As far as the munching forever on a snack, it's not that he CAN'T eat his snack in a hurry, it's more that he's BORED while eating the snack. Try letting him eat something non-messy (say, carrot sticks) while doing his homework, but let him know that once his food is gone, he has to come to a stopping point in his work (say, finish his math homework) before he can get any more, and that he needs to finish eating an hour before dinner so that he doesn't ruin it.

The problem isn't procrastination, it's all the other things that go through his mind all the time. He needs an outlet (such as a notebook to jot down his random thoughts) so that he can then concentrate on what else he has to do. As far as the job is concerned, he'll do fine. Some places that teens work (i.e. fast food restaurants) play music in the back where people are cooking the food, and he can use that to keep on track as well.

Answer 2

1) When you meet, a normal, nice, girl like at a school club or something, what do you think you would do? I Would think to go over and make small talk and maybe ask her to dance 2) What are the top 3 things you think about everyday? Sports, Girls, Music 3) How much do you really notice girls? Like, do you actually think about girls' boobs all through math class, or do you not really think about them at all? Well I'm not a pervert that would stre all class but i would glance prob once or twice. but if you were to wear a low cut shirt that shows too much and then you get mad for me looking it's sort of ironic 4) Do you guys ask more 'manly' in front of everyone just so you can seem tough or whatever? Not me i just act like me (sometimes); it depends on the situation 5) Name the top 5 most important things to you. Music, School, Girls, My Appearance, and (I'll Edit Later) 6) What social group do you think you fit into?/ Describe yourself (Doesn't need to be a stereotype or anything) Athletic, People Know I Love Music, An All Around Good Guy, Funny 13 Years Old 8th Grade

Answer 3

The answer to this question has not only plagued parents for the better half of a century but has also been answered many times in BOOK form. I'll try to give you some quick answers that might help - FYI these are all from professional experience albeit in some ways personally influenced.

1. Medication. While I personally disagree with the use of medication there are several new types that have far fewer side-effects than before. Previously in the 1980s Ritalin was used as a "cure all" for hyperactivity and attention disorders. That evolved into a series of medications with the most popular today being adderall in older children and Ritalin still for younger. The risks of these two drugs are very well known: weight loss, hypertension, increased heart rate and danger to the heart muscles, etc. However for someone who doesn't have a history of heart problems and is in good physical health, these medications could work very well in low dosages.

With that said there has been a trend to move away from amphetamines, most notably Straterra. This drug works on the norepinephrine or "noradrenaline" of the brain. Whereas an anti-depressant works by reducing the "reuptake" of excess serotonin, Straterra works to reduce the reuptake of excess norepinephrine, a chemical believe to cause attention deficit and hyperactivity. There are certain side effects, however, most notably nausea, upset stomach, and lethargy.

As with anti-depressants and other so-called "chemical imbalances" these medications are hit and miss. The amphetamines are straight out speed and even small doses will strike a noticeable difference.

2. Structured study. Find a structured environment that's not at home, doesn't involve distractions, but is pleasant and rewarding and put him in it - preferably away from school. In my work with a test prep company we always put the SAT/ACT kids in medium sized classes of 10 - 15 people. Less than 10 and the chance of goofing off and attention drifts increase. More than 15 and individuals become lost in the crowd. Check for after school programs that help in study, for instance, Sylvain Learn Centers, Kaplan, etc.

3. Set strict time limits for when work is due. In coordination with teachers place artificial deadlines on work and make him think they're hard deadlines. In essence you're increasing the pressure to get things done. Instead of approaching "study" for a test one week from now, focus on "study" for the test tomorrow. A possible idea would be to see if a teacher would be willing to administer a quiz in the mornings. Lay out for the kid that because of his "advanced" placement there will be quizzes every morning and try to increase the "importance" of the studying and homework in his mind.

This can also be done at home. Before TV, Xbox, etc. he'll have to take a quiz. Something brief that proves he's studying. No pass quiz no play games, etc. This would place a lot of pressure on the parents, however, to maintain this rigid structure and there is the fear the kid would "shutdown" and refuse to do anything.

4. Last but not least is to move into a hard-nose structured study environment whereby he either does his homework by this certain time or else. However you'd want to avoid anything that might create a roadblock for him. Roadblocks are the quickest way to loose communication avenues. If he thinks you're an "obstacle" rather than someone helping then he'll shutdown and view you as an enemy.

All of this sounds harsh, I know, but the key is raising the level of "importance" for these tasks in his mind. Place hard consequences behind them. No wiggle room. There are numerous medications out there that could very well be a God send but be very careful about which he chooses - try to stay away from the amphetamines as they're only a quick fix and not a solution for the long term. Try to keep the school out of any medical choices as they tend to negatively influence.

Answer 4

I'm the same way. i don't know why though. I mean the way i see it is as long as i get things done I'm ok. I'm in college now and I'm in the honors program just like you said he was in advanced classes. I guess that's just the way i work. But when we're put under pressure or someone we don't really know asks us to do something we do it right away or at least i do and if we want something done ourselves we do it. My dad is the same way my mom says that's where i get it from. I really don't have an answer for you i just wanted to tell you that I've been this way most of my life and I'm doing ok.

Answer 5

He should have a timer set with enough time on it to accomplish a task. If he won't get done, then he should loose privilages like phone or video games. Trust me, it's not that he's got a problem with staying focused, it's just that he won't. He is capable of getting things done.
Last night I told my preteen boys that if they didn't have their homework done before supper was on the table then they would go to bed right after supper and bath and read a book ~ no tv.
It always works for me.

Answer 6

Some people just never get it. We as parents push our children in every direction. Whether it is in sports or academics. Not everyone is the same or has them same drive as others. He will either succeed or fail. But by being so concerned with what he does, he will realize he can fall back on his parents. They need to let him go so he can realize how to make it on his own.

Answer 7

Sounds like he is ADD. My brother was the same way. Extremely bright but couldn't focus on anything. People with ADD have minds that are constantly working-they are never calm. Really never at rest. He needs to be tested and probably medicated. This problem will haunt him through out his adult years and the medication will definitly work.

Answer 8

Well, the ability to atay on task is not always a matter of discipline. If his procrastination hasn't gotten in the way of getting things done, it's no big deal, but if it has, he should be evaluated by a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Answer 9

Has he always been like this, or is it just relitively recent? What is his general behaviour like? He may have a medical condition that means he finds it difficult to concentrate for any length of time.

Answer 10

Maybe the things he is doing is boring to him...he could also have A.D.D. Tell his parents to have him checked out by a doctor. He could be a genius so the things he is doing that a normal 15 year are doing are boring to him.