Why do half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce?

Answer 1

I believe that there are two primary reasons.

The first is that people get married for reasons that are unsound. They get married because they're bored or it's the next step in the relationship. They get married to escape from their parents. They get married for financial security or to be "one of the crowd". They get married so that they won't be lonely. When people get married now they largely consider divorce a completely viable option if they're not happy. They know that there is no real stigma anymore and so marriage need not be forever. Some women would rather have been married and divorced than never married at all.

The second reason is that America is now a "throw away" society. Everything is disposable. People are always looking for greener pastures and feel that they should be happy no matter what. There are few people who go into marriage understanding that the honeymoon doesn't last forever and that there had better be more to the relationship than lust and fun. People expect their marriage partner to fulfill all of their needs, when in reality they should be looking at how to make their partner happy. There are even books out about why we should be married more than once to be fulfilled.

The bottom line is that people are selfish. We enter marriage for strange reasons and then feel that if we are not completely happy we don't need to bother working on it - just get divorced and start again with someone else.

In the prior generations mariage was something of a contract between men and women. Men provided safety and financial security while women bore and raised children and took care of their man and their home.

Nowdays, women earn their own money and don't need to have a man around for financial security. Therefore, while our mothers and grandmothers may have been unhappy in their marriages and had to stay because they either had no job skills or could not earn enough, we are free to live on our own successfully if we choose to. They had the stigma of being a divorcee, whereas divorce now is almost a badge of being a grown up.

I think that people are completely unrealistic about marriage. In almost all marriages there are bound to be bad times. The thing is, do you bail when it gets tough or do you hunker down with your spouse and work it out? Integrity is what's lacking, I think. You have to have integrity as a person and truly love the one you marry - be committed to making the other happy, rather than looking out for number one all the time.

Lastly, the prevelence of easy sex and dating services, online chat, sex in commercial television and all over the media, etc.. adds to the unrealistic expectations of couples and marriage. Apparently, you are just never going to be happy unless you are validated as being thin enough, rich enough, sexy enough, young enough and getting enough "great" sex. I mean, it's like great freqeunt sex is your birthright instead of a loving sexual relationship with one person. We are encouraged to sample all that's out there or we are deemed boring and unfulfilled. What a shame!

Answer 2

There is no one answer for this question, but I think I can give you a very common cause. People get married too quickly or too young. Most people believe that if you have known each other for a year, it is long enough to get married. It does seem like a long time. Now, having been married and divorced, I realize that it isn't long enough. Had I lived with my husband prior to marriage or even dated him longer, I don't think I would have married him. There were some habits and unattractive traits that I didn't see for the first couple of years. I have been divorced for 4 years now and am dating. This time my plan is, date for a year, move in together and live together for another year or so, then contemplate marriage. I just think it is too important a decision to rush it.

Answer 3

Because people enter marriage with the idea that if this doesn't work out, I can always just get a divorce. They don't hear the part of the vow that says until death do us part, they hear until divorce does it part.

And then some people don't realize that when that they are "vowing" to stay with this person for the rest of their lives. If their marriage hits a rough patch instead of trying to work it out, they just give up.. we live in a society where people want instant gratification and aren't willing to work for what is important.

Answer 4

It's actually more that half that end in divorce. I think it's because people get married too fast before they really know themsleves and the person they are marrying. I also think people go into it with the expectation that marriage is easy and when they find out it's hard work they give up.

Answer 5

So many people today came from divorced homes that that is their role model to when things go not so great. This is a devasting thing to the person they married that had views that marriage meant till death do you part. Of course we all have free will so I can't blame it entirely on being from a divorced family themselves but I do think that has a lot to do with it. Bottomline-People not appreciating what they have and being greedy instead.

Answer 6

Because people do not get married for the right reasons. They want out over every little thing and they want to run instead of facing the problem and working on it to save the marriage. If we worked as hard on our marriages as we do to get out of marriage we would have alot less divorces and much more successful marriages today!

Answer 7

Marriages may be made in heaven, but they need to be sustained on earth. Unfortunately, the most important ingredient for the sustenance of every marriage does not come from heaven, but needs to be put in by us here on earth. That ingredient is WORK. It is what binds the husband and wife together. Unfortunately, too many people forget to add this most vital ingredient, and their marriages crumble.
Both parties must WORK to sustain the marriage. This involves a great deal of give and take on both sides. This act of adjusting to each other is most essential to the marriage as well as to the individuals for their own personal growth. Sadly, again, too many people only see the "take" side of the bargain, quite forgetting its complement, GIVE.
We see this everywhere. In simple domestic quarrels the allegation from one spouse to the other is : "You never give me such-and-such." Have you ever come across a spouse making a statement on the lines of :"You never asked me to give you such-and-such, because if you had, I would surely have given it."? I haven't. We usually see the blame game, with lawyers the only real winners.
A little patience, a little readiness to step forward a little on your part to make your spouse a little happier, a little more comfortable, a little more satisfied, will result in a reciprocal move towards you from your spouse. And where there is a meeting ground, there you sow the seeds of harmony and happiness.
It does not take much to make that first move.
Let any reader, whose marriage is "on the rocks" give this simple recipe a genuine try.

Answer 8

Here's some of the biggest reasons for divorce:

- a serious lack of compromise. No two people are exactly the same with regard to tastes and preferences. People are going to disagree on small things and big things, and if you cannot settle or resolve differences, you're in trouble.

- a serious lack of sympathy and forgiveness. We're human and we're going to screw-up on occasion. If couples can't pick themselves up, learn from their mistakes, forgive, forget and move forward, they're in trouble. It's just perverse to hold someone's mistakes over their head forever.

- too much "me" and not enough "us." If you start hearing complaining about "not having enough space," or "your friends," the relationship is on a slippery slope. You get married because you like and love the other person; you enjoy being "with" them, not just sleeping together but pursuing separate interests.

Answer 9

I feel like this is because people dont take marriage as seriously as they used to. Now when people get in arguments, they just divorce and dont try to works things out. Also, there seems to be a lot more adultry taking place so many times marriages just dont make it through that either. I say once you say "I do" that is it (uless they are unfaithful).

Answer 10

it really is what makes the gay marriage circulate so humorous. Homosexuals should not be looking for marriage, society as an finished should be rejecting the completed employer through deeming it legally out of date. If human beings pick to outline themselves as married with their church or in spite of, superb, although the authorities could don't have any interest or opinion concerning existence lengthy unions between everyone. right it truly is an theory, if human beings what to stay together for existence, how about they only close up and stay together for existence?