Kids swearing...?

Question

Hi,
I have a bit of a dilemma here.I have a friend who has two boys just slightly older than my two boys, mine are 8 and 6 ! They never swear or use abusive language ( not when they're around me anyway) as I won't allow it ! However, my friends boys never stop ! It's f*** this, and f***** that... all the time ! She stands there and lets them do it , often laughs too, as she finds it amusing ( to my horror) !
My question is, how do I tell her that it bothers me, and it makes her and her boys look awful ( when they're really not that bad) without upsetting her too much. I have tried to tell her in a tactful way several times, but she becomes very defensive . Do I just tell her straight and pay the consquences, or just accept them for who they are ? Kids just shouldn't swear should they ?

So dirty....I believe that society is the way it is today because of people like you ! We are all minding our own business, but who are we helping ? Maybe if all cared a bit more about what kids do today then tomorrow might be a bit nicer ! Oh..by the way, my kids are NOT angels, just polite mate !

Thank you to you all, great answers . They do swear at their parents, and both mum and dad just do not think it's a problem ! Her boys are not allowed to use such words at my house, and they usually don't, but it's at school, in the park, walking down the street etc .

Answer 1

My parents swore, but I was not allowed to. They tried not to do it around the kids, but it did happen and we knew they were "bad" words. Heck, we even tattled on them: "Mom dad sad a bad word".

It's a matter of raising your kids properly. (And yes, I got spankings, grounded, and had my mouth really washed out with soap.) It is not cute to hear little kids swearing - it is disrespectful.

You need to tell your friend how you feel. There may be some fallout, but better to fight the "battle" now than to lose the war later - when she thinks it's cute that her kids skip school, shoplift, vandalize, etc.

Answer 2

Let me tell you something, that's why kids are the way they are know. Back in the day, you go anywhere and cuss, you caught it from any adult that was around. Now a days, people were never taught this, because the word community has almost been stripped out of the vocabulary. My advice, be as direct as possible, and they are a responsible, mature, caring parent, they will respond accordingly. And if they are immature and close minded, they'll take the defensive and continue to let their children walk all over them. But just make sure to not let your children be in that type of environment.

Answer 3

In this new time and age, it is very common for kids to start swearing at young ages. Although, regularly saying the F-bomb before you reach double digits is just rediculous.

If I were you, I would just try to ignore their language. These boys are your friend's children, not yours. However, if you are ever responsible for them, even if its for just a few minutes while the mother goes to the bathroom, and they say a pretty bad curse word, I would just say, subtle but kindly, "Hey, that's some pretty bad language right there." They're sure to say something like "What?" or "Why?", so use the opportunity to ask them not to talk that way around you and your kids.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Kids learn everything from their parents. If mom or dad swears in front of the kids, they will do it to. It is never appropriate for children to swear and I understand why you are uncomfortable. If you two are pretty good friends I would sit down with her and have a heart to heart and tell her how it makes you feel. You shouldn't compromise how you feel and remain in an uncomfortable situation. Hopefully she won't go off in the deep end, but if she does then she isn't a very good friend. Don't put yourself in an uncomfortable situation because it is not funny and she is not helping the situation in any way. Good luck & I hope this helps!

Answer 5

You have a dilemma. You either tell her or stop associating with her and the boys.

When she calls after not seeing you for a few days and asks, just CALMLY AND UNACCUSINGLY tell her you don't approve of foul language by children nor adults, so you decided to limit your boys' exposure to such language. Then STOP and don't say anything else. Don't let her suck you into an argument over morals or anything else. STICK TO YOUR POINT.


Good Luck

Answer 6

I would come out and talk straight with her. I would tell her that I enjoy her friendship, but that your main concern are your kids. If you sit by and say nothing it is as if you condone it. Sooner or later your own boys will try it out for size, whether in front of you or not. I'm assuming that your friend or someone talks the same way in their home, and it's no big deal. If they come to your home, they should respect you and your kids. If she still won't do anything, and they continue to come over, the next time the kids say it..I would say to them..."we don't talk like that in our house". Kids (usually) will listen to an adult in that situation.

Answer 7

If it were me i'd just tell her straight after all kids influence other kids and before you know it yours will be at it too.
just try be tactful while telling her say you love her boys and think shes a great friend and a great mother but you do not think this is acceptable behaviour for children and that you do not let your children behave this way and while your children are around could she at least chastise her boys about it so your children arent getting mixed messages about whats right and wrong.
if shes a good friend she'll understand.

Answer 8

I agree, children using foul language is very upsetting. It almost takes the innocence away. But as for your question, if you have tried talking to the customer and she gets defensive, I would limit the time your children and you spend with that family. If she asks why, tell her that you don't feel comfortable having your children around foul language. If anything else, she'll accept it for what its worth, and think about how many other friends she is losing.

Answer 9

you are so right to feel that way, I have a friend who also has never disciplined her children for their behavior/language. I was embarrassed once when I babysat them, and they made a very awful comment out loud regarding a heavy set woman, and it made me angry. I dealt with the kids myself, I just let them know that I was not their mother and I do not, will not allow them to use such language or speak disrespecfully when they are around me and we would no longer do fun things together. I did notice a drop off in our time together but even my children mentioned that they did not care to hang around them because of their language and behavior. My kids are not angels either but they do not use abusive / bad language in front of me and thats called RESPECT. Take your consequences and let her know how you feel, and out of respect for you she should tell her kids to refrain from this behavior/language while you and your children are with them. That is respectful and tell her you would do the same for her, you are not asking her to do anything you would not do yourself.

Answer 10

No that is rediculous for children to use those kinds of words!

Tell her that her children sound like a bunch of rednecks! And if they can't control their mouths that you won't allow them to be around your children anymore. No seriously though.. Have a heart to heart with her, and let her know that it bothers you.

It's only a matter of time before your kids start to see that behavior as "okay".

Whenever they cuss, look at YOUR kids and tell them that they are NEVER allowed to talk that way, and then pull them away.