Ok so I try to not let this piss me off but no matter how i try to look at it i still get pissed off.?

Question

My husband only lasts for like 5-10 minutes in bed. So anyways he knows how important it is for me to be satisfied but i still get the feeling that he just doesn't care. we bought some toys hoping that will help get me off faster and it does for the most part but sometimes i just want plain old sex with out the vibrating plastic toys. He isn't able to stay hard after he comes so whenever he gets off we are pretty much done and i'm left unsatisfied. this really pisses me off cuz i just feel used... i tell myself its no big deal but it IS A HUGE deal to me...so can you guys give me any words of advice on how to not get pissed off when this happens? I mean he expects me to get off in 5 minutes like him and thats a little selfish. he won't even try to slow down or try a different position to get the feeling for him to kind of go away for a minute..he just keeps going and next thing i know i'm pissed off cuz i'm left hanging. just looking for a guys perspective on this..

Answer 1

At the very least, is he helping you finish after he is done? If not, try being on top and then you can always control speed, movement, hopping off of him if he gets too aroused etc... If not, look me up ;)

Answer 2

The poster above me is a total moron.

Most men CANNOT hold off at will. This is a _learned_ behaviour for most men. In 'nature', the man finishes fast. He can't magically hold off any more easily then you can magically have an instant orgasm.

Staying hard after he finishes would also be very, very unusual.

Now. What can you do? He _should_ be willing and able to try to stimulate you orallly/manually to get you off as well. If he's not willing to try, then you have every reason to be pissed. If his 'skill' isn't there, you need to suffer through letting him practice. There are also exercises you two can work on together to help him last longer (although 10 minutes is often the _target_ of those exercises, but you could aim higher) during sex. But I'd work on the first part (getting you off without intercourse/after intercourse) first. You guys need a fall back plan because if he feels like he _has_ to hold off, he'll actually find it much harder too. Stress is not helpful when trying to exercise control.

Answer 3

I find it incredibly outrageous that a man could treat the woman he loves in such a way. I was sitting here thinking, but it's difficult to come up with a solution because he sounds so selfish and childish. There are a few not so nice things you could do. You could get him really frustrated by teasing hard really hard and not letting him touch you until he is willing to work on HIS problem.
I am sorry that I sound so negative towards him, but I have every right. When I was first married, my wife drove me so crazy with needing her that it was hard to last long. At first, I gave her massages and practiced all kinds of foreplay. Now, I can go for as long as I want. If I have the energy, I can hold off indefinitely. Why? Because I love my wife and I learned to focus 10% of my energy on her. If I can do it, any man can.
He has NO excuse. If he can't treat the best thing in his life with the love you deserve, I am sure there are many wonderful men who would do anything for the love of a caring woman. I say caring because you must be special after putting up with what you are married to.
Remember, you are the most important person. Make him treat you that way.

Answer 4

What you should objective at is a few way for him to observe his porn without it being on your face like this. He needs to study some freakin' tact. it isn't cool to observe porn or go away it mendacity around the position your little ones can see, no longer to instruct the doorstep-little ones. i do not comprehend the position you acquire the idea he may rape you in case you tried to communicate over with him about this. If that is _only_ that he watches porn that bothers you, he's probable no longer a baby molester, and also you may probable communicate over with him thoroughly no matter if no matter if that is going to do any sturdy is yet another count. yet in case you imagine he's been coming onto you, you pick to inform someone now and take care of the project in the previous it receives worse. (Has he tried to kiss you, fondle you, or hug you inappropriately? Does he *instruct* you the porn, or communicate over with you about sex? those may be intense caution signs and indicators.) yet once you've everyone outdoors that you'll communicate over with, like your easily father, a relative you've faith, or someone in school, do it. that is insupportable to be disregarded to this degree about some thing so significant.