Should I be mad at my husband or should I let it go and act like nothing happen?

Question

I am wondering if I am taking issues with my husband a lil to personal. Lately he has been working a lot and we barely get to see each other and I find doing everything on my own. I am sorry to say it but he is the type that thinks only the women is the one who maintains the house clean, takes care of the kids, and also brings home an income. While he thinks the men should not do anything but go to work and bring home the money. I fight with him about this mentality, I love him dearly he is a great father, and husband . What i am wondering should I make a big fuss about it or should I just leave it alone?

Answer 1

Ivonne, I would talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. Personally, I have been working late during the last month (getting home around 10 PM), but I still make sure all the dishes are clean, dishwasher is empty, throw a load of laundry in, etc. I do these things because I love my wife, not because I am worried that she will yell at me.

Answer 2

If he brings in significantly more than you - just leave him alone. The time to argue about these things was before you got married and had a family, not after. If he's working a lot and making a lot - count your blessings; he is responsible enough to support the family and pay your bills. If he's working a lot, but making the same amount as you - he needs to get his a** in gear and start helping you more, or take his paycheck and hire a maid. My husband makes 5 times as much as I, and I don't care if he dirties up the whole house (which he doesn't, but still); he pays the mortgage, the bills, and I really don't mind cooking and doing dishes; he's a great provider, and his time is certainly better spent on bringing home the dough than on dishes or laundry. He would never be so disrespectful as to say that this is the "women's job", but it kind of works out this way - and I'm alright with it. He works hard, and does a lot already.

Answer 3

If you are bring home an income, the house shouldn't be 100% your responsibility.
Don't make a big deal over this. Just tell you husband that you expect some help. Since you're helping by bringing in an income, he can help with the house. He lives there too. If he's not willing, look into hiring someone to help clean the house. He's expecting you to do way too much.

Answer 4

Don't you think that if you just leave it alone, it's going to end up gnawing at you and then it will be too late toput any of the blame on his lack of "home responsibilities"?
You'll probably make your self go mad by letting it bother you if you don't speak up. On the other hand, if your not speaking up, it more than likely isn't really bothering you.

Marriage is a 50/50. Should even be more so when children are involved. IF he's the great father and husband you say he is, he'll be more than happy to help out at home and forget he even thinks differently about the male/female rolls in life.

Answer 5

He sounds a little like my dad. My dad is the same way.. his job is to go to work and bring home money and my mom's job is to go to work and bring home money, plus do everything else. He has been like that since they got married and has never changed. Not to say that you husband can't. My mom has always continued doing things for him.. preparing his meals, cleaning up after him, she doesn't like a messy house and if she doesn't do it then no one will. So if you can stand it, I would stop doing the extra, I wouldn't get in a big fight about it if you can avoid it, but when he needs a clean shirt and his are all dirty it might give him a wake up call. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Sherri you should sit down and discuss this with your husband and not rely on the answers from total strangers. Tell him what was told to you and ask him to tell you the truth. Ask him if it was a one time thing or if they are having an affair. You love him and just want to know the truth and where you two stand as a married couple. Tell him that you love him and if there is anything he feels he is missing at home to let you know. Then get rid of this woman as a friend. A true friend would not kiss your husband. And tell your husband that it hurts you that he did that and that you no longer trust him and her together and you are ending the friendship with this womand and have no problem telling her why.

Answer 7

Marriage is an equal partnership.You should be able to communicate freely with your husband and tell him how you are feeling.The day that you cannot communicate is the day your marriage is in trouble.You and your husband should discuss eachothers feeling's and then compromise.You should not have to make a big fuss but you should talk about the way you feel if you just try to push it under the rug it will eventually become a larger problem to deal with.deal with it now and don't wait for thing's to get out of control.Good Luck.

Answer 8

don't make a big fuss about it and don't leave it alone either. You don't have to nag your husband on this anymore. The nagging therapy has been proven wrong. I admit its a disturbing attitude he's got but there's a better way of going about it. For all this while if your husband hasn't been able to change then its time for you to change. Change your response to his behavior. Be more loving, respectful and patient with him. Giving into a marriage to make it successful is much more important than receiving. Use your feminine nature to get him do what you want. certainly its not nagging ......but a loving and peaceful kind of thing. Smile more and be a little more caring too.

I bet you he won't be able to resist your love and care. Your good response to your husband's behavior has an enormous effect. He will tend to be around you more and by so doing you guys can get to do things together without him even realizing it. Let your husband know that you love him even with his kind of mentally you don't like. Men love to be around women who celebrate them and love them for who they are. Plz, be honest about it. It shouldn't be a "honey trap".....really change into a loving and more charming woman.

Try this celebration therapy and you'll see his boss complain of him coming late to work and going back before its closing time.

Good luck!

Answer 9

It is best to just let it go and let go of the anger that you feel. You will be better for it. Forgiveness and letting go of the pain and anger is a great healing tool. You may need counseling and be honest with your husband about what you are feeling and see if he is open to going to marriage counseling with you. Just be the best wife you can be to him and be loving and kind and selfless... You cannot change your husband the only one you can change is you and if he sees a change in you and they way you treat him who knows maybe he will want to change because he sees you are trying! We as wives can set the pace and mood of the home. I know that when i am moody my husband seems moody but when i am joyful and happy and in a good mood my husband and household usually is. Life is what we make of it ladies. I have learned this the hard way but trust me it works. Look at what he does do he takes care of you and the family and he supports you and the kids. Love and enjoy him when you do see him and make the most of the time that you have with him. Count your blessings for what you have in life. He seems like a great provider and a hard worker. He has alot of good qualities so look at them and be thankful for them and dont worry about his faults or imperfections. Next time you see him say honey I really love you and the way that you take care of us and i appreciate that you work so hard to bring home the money and put food on the table for us. Compliment him once in a while instead of complaining and watch what happens next!

Answer 10

I agree count your blessings that he brings his income home to your and the kids. Yeah, he is bit on the old fashion side. But since we as humans are not perfect, I guess will have to take the good with some bad. There is always a down side to everything. If you can live with and it's not such a big deal, leave it alone. But if you want him to cut back on his hours at work so that you two can spend some quality time together keep talking to him about that.