Drinking Style Horoscopes?

Question

ARIES
Drinking style
Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call
it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot
contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a
couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you
want out of them, should other methods fail.
Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever
happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be
counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done
anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.


TAURUS
Drinking style
Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow
rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a
one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills
red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference
for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is
quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by
any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er,
gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely
amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.


GEMINI
Drinking style
Geminis can drink without changing their behavior much -- they're so
naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell
sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then
doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like
puking in your shoe. Geminis possess the magic ability to flirt
successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several
people at once.
They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring
-- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and
limoncello) for their own amusement.


CANCER
Drinking style
Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an
after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling?
Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against
lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and
insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style,
Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional"
(read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping
stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite
Cancer.
Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor
vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.


LEO
Drinking style
Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually
pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning
kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling - Leos will be
Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they
loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting
to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what brung them. But Leo's not the
type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder,
Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the
next day.


VIRGO
Drinking style
Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their
famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other
signs, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking
down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully
shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect,
but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when
walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend
used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level of
intelligence tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ!


LIBRA
Drinking style
"I'm just a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn
social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to
everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device
set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators
when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are,
Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them
into all sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay
too early in the evening, flirting with their best friend's beau or even
blacking out the night's events entirely.
Oops!


SCORPIO
Drinking style
Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and
quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk,
out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a
problem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor in
itself, and not as a personality-altering tool * though if depressed,
self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're
fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying
flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you
were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.


SAGITTARIUS
Drinking style
In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When
buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own.
Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a
sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of
Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're
the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd
to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun.
Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of
loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).


CAPRICORN
Drinking style
Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and
status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological
cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox,
not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent,
powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they
make money being themselves, who are you to quibble? But just like most
rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally
need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party,
especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.


AQUARIUS
Drinking style
Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that
is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an
idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If
they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too
preoccupied with their duties to get combative * and they make perfectly
charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital
drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get
them before they start raising their wrist)
Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting
conversations with soused strangers while sober.


PISCES
Drinking style
If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and
an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and Kurt Cobain.
Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling
that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who
needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously
enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in
crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of
margaritas and wind up in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive
personality" can be read two ways, you know.

Answer 1

right on target
my bf cancer cant hold his liguor will pass out
my friend a aries is dying of cancer because of it
my ex sister inlaw a sagg wont quit even though she has cancer
my friend a pisces is drowning in the drink
my friend who is geminis is quite when drunk
me a pisces cant stop until drunk

Answer 2

What exactly is the question? o.O jk, good one.

I could do a shorter version tho :p

ARIES: When out drinking with an Aries, make sure you bring along your kevlar vest - you'll soon find out why.
TAURUS: Pretend not to drink a lot, while secretly knock back the spirits while you're out in the toilets.
GEMINI: Chances are that, not only do they try out every cocktail available, they have a knack for picking out the most expensive ones AND will be able to tell you exactly what and how much alcohol is in them!
CANCER: Don't drink with them if you want to have a good time, free-of-emotional-baggage. They tend to open up while drinking.
LEO: What use in drinking if you can't remember what you've done last night? A leo HAS to remember, you know.
VIRGO: Nothing fancy, nothing icky. Just a simple long drink, please.
LIBRA: If out with a Libra, spare yourself the waste of time, and order for them. They won't figure out which drink to have if you let them.
SCORPIO: They'd drink anything, the faster you get drunk, the better. They know what gets you there fast and they'll drink it... and get there only ages after you do. It's not fair, is it?
SAGITTARIUS: A free philosophy lesson with every drink. They love the exotic ones. Especially Pastis.
CAPRICORN: When with aries, you need a kevlar vest, with Capricorn, you'll need a stealth-radar. Sneaky little drunks, they are!
AQUARIUS: Ever fancied Einstein's peer opposite you in a conversation? They'll stun and confuse you after a couple beers.
PISCES: The one sign that REALLY doesn't remember anything after being drunk. They do the weirdest things - some pisces prefer not to touch alcohol because they know what it does to them.

Answer 3

I'm a cancer and I disagree with what you've wrote about Cancers when they're drunk. Cancers generally when drunk get more happy, are less self conscious and insecure than when they are sober, and get really flrity. The liquor makes them forget themselves temporarily.
Now sometimes if we're tired and low on energy when we decide to drink, we will get quiet and look for a place to sit down.
But more emotional and sad when drunk? No way!
If we're sad and want to drink, we'll stay at home to drink & brood alone; not out in public. But otherwise, a drunk cancer is a flirty and good time cancer.
Obviously, you got this crap out of a book and posted it on the internet.

Answer 4

I love strong ale and good bourbon, and usually take it pretty slow. No more shots for me, I like to savor what I drink. I enjoy gradual and relaxed settings, and though I don't drink a lot, I can often drink others under the table. I'm not quite sure why, maybe I simply don't lose my composure and embellish the drunken state as many others do, whom decide to mop the floor with themselves. It always looks like an act to me. Maybe I'm pretentious haha. I do remember a lot about the night before though. That is quite correct.

Answer 5

LMAO! Awesome! Now if we could only find someone who was sober enough to run a daily column. You know, Today's Happy Hour will be an 8. Look for specials on shooters and chicken wings...

Answer 6

That's pretty cool. I agree with some but Im a cancer and when i drink i get quite aggressive and im not sure why.

Answer 7

I had asked this same question two times, and didn't get a proper answer

Answer 8

LOL ......this is so true and funny, I'm a scorpio and I personally like to drink with pisces, leos, and and saggitariuses, and certain scorpios!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

yup...I'm a Pisces and i know that i shouldn't drink...because i don't remember nothing at all....and I do lots of crazy things:-"...my bf doesn't let me 2 drink...I suppose he read something like this;)))

Answer 10

I would be interested in finding out more on this too