Divorce...Is it my fault?

Question

My mom came into my bedroom at 5AM this morning saying "Here, read this, I hope your happy" My father had written her a note saying that he no longer loved her, and that she had changed and that pretty much they are getting a divorce. My mom said that is is my fault because her an I always fought. I dont what to believe that it is, and everyone is telling me that it isnt, but my mom seems to think so. How do I make it so that I dont feel this bad. like I have done something wrong.
An additional fact. I hate my mother, I really do. All we ever do is fight and argue.

Answer 1

It is not your fault!!
My wife has tried to blame my 19 year old daughter for our arguments for years, saying that I always took my daughters side. I honestly believe that she is jealous of my relationship with our daughter as she is a "Daddy's girl."
Your mother has no right to put that kind of quilt trip on you and you should tell your father about it.
I would bet that your mom is controlling and a very jealous person, not just of you but anybody that your father knows that does she does not.
Before your Dad leaves you should tell him you want to live with him. In my opinion you should not be living in the same house as your mother.

Answer 2

I don't know for sure but it might be, is it your real father or step father I was single for a long time and aborted MANY relationships because of spoiled bratty kids I don't put up with any **** from children and your mother shouldnt either as long as you are living under her roof you should do as you are told if things are so damm bad move out about 1 month of paying youre OWN way and you might see things under a diffrent light I had a shitty childhood and moved out when I was 15 I never spent another night at my parents house after that ( not even when I moved away and came to visit ) I love my parents very much but I wasn't happy there I think if your mom had mashed your mouth when you were little you wouldn't be in the problems you have now if you were at work now instead of at home on internet access that was paid for by your parents using their computer complaining about how bad you have it you might still have your father around !!!!!

Answer 3

Listen she is just trying to lay her inability at your feet. She should be a mother and take responsibility for her marriage failing. I have never heard of something like that...makes me wish you had threw the paper in her face, but that would have been wrong. So just don't pay her no mind. If she wants to use that as an excuse let her it's not gonna change that she is getting a divorce and you don't have to except it as being your fault anyways because it isn't. Oh, just so you know you don't hate your moms....I bet if someone hit her with you around you would go so far up their butts they would be pooping you for days. Parents very rarely get along with their adolescent children. That's because you are developing a higher sense of self and are trying to break away from what you view as restrictions on your growth. But step back and look at it this way. When you learned to ride a bike you needed training wheels and guidance. Once the wheels came off you still needed a bit of help to keep the bike straight but you gradually got the hang of it. Life is like that but less forgiving and your mother knows this. Stop being such an hard ***. You need to sit down with your mom and let her know you understand her worries and concerns and that you are willing to work with her on some of her rules if she is willing to compromise a bit. If she gets angry just say we can do it that way or just continue to argue and accomplish nothing but bad feelings for each other. It is better for you two to work as a team than fight as enemies.

Good Luck
Man she is lame.

Answer 4

1st off, even tho you say it you DON'T hate your mother. SHE gave you life. DON'T EVER forget this fact.
Now 2ND, you and she may fight all the time because you and she are alike. When two people are alike in many ways they will sometimes NOT get along. She IS going through so much with this note from your father and she is trying to cope with it and ease the pain. So the easiest way is to put the blame on someone else. THAT someone unfortunately is YOU. Give her time and try to understand what she is going through. Counseling may be needed, but try to bare with her and see if she wants to sit down and talk with you. Tell her that you are really very sorry that this is happening and want to talk. Give it a try. Good Luck either way.

Answer 5

This is not your fault at all and the sooner you realize this the better. Your mom is wrong for blaming you for this and you really may want to go live with your dad after this since your mom is being so mean. Have you and your mom been to counseling together at all? I think this might help some. Do not hate your mom love her for who she is and love your dad too. Hate and bitterness is not the answer here.

Answer 6

Betty Sparkles' fault

Answer 7

Jason, don't ever try to figure out a woman. Woman are very emotional and when the doo doo hits the fan she went to you to vent her spleen.
I used to be in the same boat as you my friend. The only thing that saved my sanity is I away from a woman who was a control freak and a man hater. Most women resent and are jealous of men because we have a lot of freedom...they call it irresponsiblility...but I call it living my life as I see fit.
Of course she will put you on the guilt trip as your father bailed out to save his own sanity. In this world you will find that if you live your life to please other people you soon will get the shaft.
Don't play her mind games. If you really want to tick her off just agree with her when she says you are a jerk..boy do women get hot when you won't fight back...just don't let her inability to keep a man ruin your life as in the end you have to be your own Father and MOther...You always hurt the one you love..duh...so what good is this thing called love? well you live the life like you want as you will be paying your own dues in life.. Good luck Jason

Answer 8

Sorry to hear that, your mom can't onw up to her own mistakes that she made in the marriage w/your dad. That really sucks, but you know and realize that it's not youand that your mother must have some real issues for doing that in the first place. One of these days your mom is going to realize that she did'nt only make one mistake that impacted her life but two the the most important will be that she ruined the realtionship w/her daughter something that should of been speical, she got stupied and threw it all away. Keep your head up.

Answer 9

I think someone needs to put your mom in jail for being so mean, and heartless. This alone tells me why she's getting divorced, and it's because she doesn't have the decency to own up to her own mistakes, and blaming them on everyone else. YOU were not married to this guy, SHE was. So it is HER job, to try to work her marriage out. OBviously she has problems, and don't let her turn them around on you. You know it's not your fault, its just a game she's playing cause she wants you to do as she says that's it.

Answer 10

Wow! I am sorry. I can't imagine any mother blaming a divorce on their child. What everyone is telling you is right, this is not your fault. You need to speak to someone that you can trust. Do you get along with you father? Why don't you sit down and have a talk with him in his perspective. Hang in there divorces are hard enough on a child without their parents blaming it on them. gosh!!