Does anyone know if i can legally stop my estranged husband from having contact with our child?

Question

he has not been to see him/rang/contacted in anyway since Dec, no xmas cards/pressies etc. Im fed up of him flitting in and out of my sons life and upsetting him. I need help-dont know wot to do :(

kellyhurt....
i have been goin thru this for 4 yrs!! ive begged him, bribed him, pleaded with him, i have a open house, ive lent him money done his shopping etc anything just to have him in my sons life....4 yrs down the road im tired of lying to my son, he is not a stupid child i dont think its fair that i treat him as one, he knows his dad wont come to c him of his own accord, it breaks my heart that his dad is doin this to him- wen u have children of ur own and u no how intense the love is only then can u comment. Children are vulnerable and i feel a responsibitly to stop this man hurting my baby

Answer 1

I am divorced and live about 15 minutes from my children. I spend as much time as I can with them, help them with their homework, take them to fun places, cook for them(hell, I even cook for them and their mother at her house sometimes). Unfortunately, he is still the childs father, and as much as you want to exclude him, you really shouldn't. Certainly don't go to lengths to INCLUDE him anymore, but eventually down the road he's going to realize how much of an *** he's been. Unfortunately it will be too late. It hurts me to see men do that, and I do see it with some guys I know, but it's really not my business to tell them to get their heads out of their asses. Your child will also realize as he gets older how his father screwed up, and it will then be up to him(your child) to decide whether or not to include his father in his life. Good luck and love your baby every minute!!! Sean

Answer 2

Life is often unfair and unjust unfortunately..in short you cannot stop him unless it's an abusive relationship. Dad's like this are **** role models, especially in your case because your child is a boy, easier if you had a daughter cos YOU would be her role model. Consider this.. does your son get enjoyment out of seeing his dad? Is it beneficial to him albeit spasmodic?
Otherwise if you do move / change phone number etc IE flee him, you live with that guilt and he has that lame excuse to USE against you when he later flits back into your son's life, that " It was your mums fault". Also you can never lie to your son, " Speak your mind but still be kind". Your son, bless his heart, needs to understand his own reality - however sad that is, he will bounce back. Kids are so resilient, he has you as his stability, he will adore you and learn how to treat women better than his dad did by his love, respect and admiration for you. All the very best x .

Answer 3

My advice, having experienced this as a child and a mother would be to explain to his dad the night or day whatever is the norm when he does see him, that it does not change. I.e. if its a Friday night overnight, then that is when he sees him.

Don't speak to your son about it and don't do it in front of your son. Ultimately it is him you are hurting if he hears the argument.

Don't tell your son when he is turning up and then he can't be disappointed if he doesn't come. If he does it is a nice surprise.

Don't beg plead or anything else his dad to come - you never know he might be not seeing him just to spite you. Their relationship is nothing to do with you as you are not together anymore. Just make the arrangements of when he is to see him and leave the rest up to the two of them to work out.

However upset you are you have to just be there for your son for him.

There really is nothing more you can do. Hope it works out for.

P.S. you do realise that if you do go to court they are likely to interview your son - do you really want to put him through that and as far as i am aware being unreliable is no reason to stop visitation rights!

Answer 4

You can only stop him if he is a threat to the child. Just because he messes you around is not grounds for preventing the child's right to access his father. No one has the right to take that away from a child. What you can do is approach the Family Court Welfare Service and ask them to mediate and tell your ex that this is how it will be. If your ex still behaves in a way that is intolerable to the child then you have grounds to take further action in the courts. Do not deny any access that your ex and your child may have in the coming months as this will go against you in a court of law. Show that you are responsible, level headed, and that you are acting only in the interests of your child. The judge will not be interested in how much of a pain your ex is to you and if you try and use it against him it will not go in your favour. The Courts and the Law are only interested in the child's welfare and not yours. There are mediators who deal with your problems and I strongly recommend you use them. Things can get turned around and you could become the one who prevented your son from seeing his dad. I wish you loads of luck and if you do have to go to court, do it before your ex does.

Answer 5

they say absence makes the middle advance more suitable. yet no longer this a lot absence. Having a lengthy distance courting or courting like yours and your husband will coach very attempting at situations. Your husband is way flung from you and is (i'm assuming) surrounded with assistance from temptation. it is not ordinary for him to shop himself to himself for see you later merely to work out you and the youngsters each and every couple of months or so. It should be not ordinary for you too. have you ever idea-about being with yet another guy? once you've, there is no favor to sense ashamed or accountable. because it is merely accepted. those ideas ensue for adult adult males and women human beings even even as they have been living jointly for see you later and proceed to attain this. So imagine how perplexing it truly is even as ye do not see one yet another for see you later. conserving that, I actually have admiration for you! I truly would not enable my husband to bypass public jointly with his mistress! I say go away him off. perchance separation can be a good element. Then a divorce may be on the horizon in case you want it. yet get your self a guy too. really all and multiple desires someone. that is an exact so you might not be disadvantaged of. yet also, toddlers favor a father make sure in they're lives. no longer one they see each and every couple of months. yet one they can relate to and spot extra frequently. Their organic and organic father can nevertheless visit too. yet when he has a lady then there is no way you won't be able to have your self a guy. because which could be so unfair. i understand you'll lake the right determination on your kinfolk and your self. I desire you each and every of the acceptable xxx

Answer 6

Well if your son is smart, stop treating him like a baby. Tell him the truth. If your husband won't agree to this and that, have your son take some part in the decision making. I honestly don't see how you think you are doing the "Right thing" by getting a restraining order or what not.

Answer 7

never use the child for revenge the child will develop anger toward you in the long run.If the child wants to distant himself let him.If he doesn't hear from his dad he will more than likely have a lot of questions for you wondering where his dad is .Does he visit him? At least he know he is thinking about him.Let him write his dad and express he feelings to his dad.Maybe the dad does not want to deal with you could that be it?If so, take the child to a friend or relative and let the dad visit .Trust me you are only hurting the child!I have been dealing with this for twelve years ,my girls are now sixteen and seventeen and they understand now and the seventeen actually understood when she was eleven, she stopped having any thing to do with her dad if he calls she just talks and cuts him short.We never receive childsupport ,or any gifts what so ever not from him or his family.My kids are his only ones and he is not involved with anyone,he is just worthless!

Answer 8

Get professional advice from a solicitor. You can stop your ex husband having contact with your son but only normally on grounds of violence or abuse. If not, the dad really needs to take a part in your son's life, it will only be more difficult later on. It's such a shame when most dads who are separated from their kids are trying so hard to get the tiniest bit of contact with them and then people like your ex husband don't bother most of the time.

Answer 9

If you do stop all access then your ex sounds like the kind of man who will tell his son when he's older that it was your fault he didn't visit because you got a court injunction to stop him, and because boys tend to grow up thinking their dads are heroes then it's possible your son could have a big issue with you. If I were you I wouldn't try and do anything that is so final. Remember that anything is possible and maybe when your ex's conscience gets the better of him then he'll start to behave like the dad that he is.

Answer 10

you need to go to court and set up regular access. he can only see his son when the court says. you can even have supervised access so that you dont have to see your ex, and you know your son is safe.
if he doesnt stick to the arrangements, all access will be cut off. this could be make or break. give him a chance, if he blows it, he has noone to blame but himself.
if he is harrassing you at home by turning up unannounced etc, you can also have a court injunction to keep him away from your home.
why are you so desperate to have this man in your sons life?
he sounds like a pig and you dont want your son growing up with a role model like that, he doesnt need his father to be happy.
it sounds like you are holding on to the fairytale ending, which doesnt appear to be going to happen.
i really feel for you,but its time to take a deep breath and do this for all your sakes.
good luck
x