It's always his way or no way. Tells you what to do as if you are 2. Get's mad when you have to make a quick decision and you can't get a hold of him on his cell.
2007-02-06 01:32:37 · 33 answers · asked by Kickin' Back 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As a Controling man myself...we can change...I have done many changes in my marriage...we did split but then realized I rather face my problems and issues then lose the women I love... Best bet is get help..second is sometimes best way to work things out is to be upfront and honest...stop being scared...face this bully. Tell him how you feel and without making threats like divorce or leaving him tell him that both of us need help seek theropy.It will work if anything to help vent the anger issues and control issues. Good luck
2007-02-06 03:10:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you really can't change anyone. People are who they are. If you don't like what you see or the way he treats you, then say good bye. As much as you'd like to modify his behavior it's not going to work. Even if he agreed to stop trying to control you and treat you like you are two - how long do you think that will last before he reverts back into his normal pattern?
Even if you didn't allow him to treat you this way (yes..you do have a certain amount of accountability here) you would end up bickering and fighting and it may turn into a dominance war. I'm not saying all relationships are like this, but many are; there is always one person who is the dominant force. Some relationships function really well in those circumstances, others do not. In my humble opinion, it's really difficult to find a relationship that is based on equality or has the ability to ebb and flow with two people being able to take a turn at the wheel making decisions.
Bottom line...this bothers you enough that you are asking about it and it shows a lack of regard and respect towards you.
2007-02-06 02:00:38 · answer #2 · answered by Shelly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, I know it's a very painful situation so I really dont know what to say !! alll I can say is this is your life and only you should be knowing what to do but I assume you're deeply hurt, angry and frustrated.I think probably you've put up with all these for too long but now inside, you feel you cant take it any longer.Then listen to your inner voice.But I think probably you still love him and care for him deeply though otherwise nobody on earth would put up with such crap. Now since this relationship is important to you and you value this, I would recommend you try to talk to him. Tell him how exactly you feel.how emotionally painful it has been for you and yet you compromised with your pride and still took the trouble to talk to him because you love him and care for him and because this relationship is important to you.Now If he truly loves you and cares for you then as a grown up,matured man he would know what to do. And in case If he doesn't then atleast as a woman you've done your part and now all I can say is that this is your life so only you should be knowing what to do.
2007-02-06 15:44:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not a healthy relationship. You can not change a man. I've tried, and I've seen my mother fail. That could turn into a violent relationship if you are not careful. Run, far away. If you can't reach him on his cell, he is avoiding you and for probably an obvious reason. Set your standards high, don't put up with that from anyone. Your self-esteem probably isn't benefiting from this relationship. You can do a lot better...but you have to believe it.
2007-02-06 01:40:03 · answer #4 · answered by Lolly07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am quite knowledgeable in social behavior, and this is what I call a three o'clock on the personality scale. How he acts is typical of his personality type. You can't change it. The only way you can stop it is for him to allow you to make your own decisions with no restrictions whatsoever. If he does not agree to these terms, he will never change. If you try to change him, you WILL lose.
2007-02-06 01:41:47 · answer #5 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, but.... you can't. I did it and all kinds of women do it , well we try at least. we find this man who we love sooooooooo much its all good except for that one little something, or maybe its not so little so we try to change him. The truth is we can't, in order for him to change he must change himself, because he wants to, and if thats not the case which alot of times its not theres nothing we can do. So either stay and deal,or leave and finf someone whos not that way.
2007-02-06 08:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by D lux 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't change him. Just get the F**k out of there. Why would you want a guy like that. He is not respecting your decisions at all. Trust me...you are better off without him.
2007-02-06 01:37:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let me keep it real for a minute......you can't change ANY man, let alone a controlling one. He has to change on his own. Unfortunately by the time he does change usually the girl has gotten tired of him and found someone better.
2007-02-06 01:36:57 · answer #8 · answered by gdesigner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was once a controlling man
its insecurity on the part of ur man, u cant change him, he needs helps, the hardest part is to get him to agree he has issues
but suggest, if hes gets mad try a different approach, if that doesnt work, then u need to rethink this relationship cuz it will only get worst
2007-02-06 01:47:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sit down with him in a very calm and adult manner and find out why he's so angry and controlling all the time. Maybe you two can work something out, to include seeing a clergyperson or counseling.
2007-02-06 05:34:04 · answer #10 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋