Is there something wrong with me?

Question

My husband and I have been married for almost six years, we got married when we were young. He used to want to be with me, he wanted to touch me, now its like a battle to get him to come near me. I don't understand, there are other men that want to be with me. And i've told him this he doen't seem to care!!I think i'm very beautiful, I like to have his attention. But I haven't had it in so long i've forgot what its like. And he never wants to have sex. He gives me some excuse like he's got to get ready for work but an hour later hes still in the bed. He stays up all night playing poker and gets mad if I want to talk or ask he to help me with anything. Is it wrong if i've thought of other men that actually show me attention. What is the problem?

Answer 1

Well you telling him other men want to be with you probably doesn't do much for his sense of security.

Try giving him YOUR attention. Not whining, nagging, complaining, crying etc. Just jump him. Grab him. Tell him what a stud he is. Pump up his ego. Whisper in his ear that you wanna f- him. Now.

Answer 2

You already told us the problem Amber.... he's addicted to gambling and doesn't have the energy to give you the affection and satisfaction you need. I suspect he's drinking while he's playing poker also.

WOW why is it all the jerks get the beautiful women ??

Well, first I suggest you talk to your pastor or other trusted counselor to keep your own sanity intact. You are being affected by his addictive behavior.

From there, you have to decide when your husband is "approachable". The only possible suggestion I have is to take control yourself, without any words, just silently. And don't expect much for a week. I suggest you simply quietly take the inititative and go down on him, very gently, very quietly, an without conversattion. You see, men are ruled by their erections, and after a few times, he will become the aggressor and feel like he's irresistible, and that his libido has made this all happen. Once he becomes the aggressor you should receive some satisfaction. (Of course, he doesn't deserve this treatment, but I'm interested in getting you the satisfaction you need).

What you two really need to work on is your relationship. Good Luck

Answer 3

It's actually very common. After a period of time, men often become somewhat indifferent towards long term partners. I believe the issue is that there is no more challenge and the thrill of the conquest is done. He's been with you. He's not excited by the prospect of being with you now.

There are some things you may be able to do. Try some role playing. Make him a romantic dinner. Take a mini vacation to forget about problems at home and work.

On the negative side, you come off sounding a little immature and a little needy. He might be turned off by the neediness and his way to respond is to with hold attention from you. If this is the case, you might benefit from counseling.

Answer 4

No there is nothing wrong with you. You should try playing hard to get with him show little or no interest in him you need to find a way to him to notice you again. A marriage is a full time job and both of you need to work at it to get it to work. If you have tried everything you can think of I would recommend some counseling for both of you. I have gone through this before. You need to try and curb the feeling for others even though the need to be loved is strong. Cheating hurts not only him but you would regret it to. I wish you the best of luck remember it is not you.

Answer 5

You probably need to be asking "Is there something wrong with us?" rather than focusing one or the other of you.

As you mature into a relaitonship people change, less sex is common but this is balanced with better quality sex. You might find he actually prefers sex at a different time of day or he could be stressed and that's putting him off.

Flirting with other men, might be making things worse, have you stopped flirting with him like you used to?

Answer 6

He probably feels intimidated about the fact that you are so willing to say there are other guys that would want you. Maybe you should reinforce the fact that you are committed to only him. Give him a show in bed. Ask him if he wants to watch you play with yourself, and be vocal about showing him where you like to be touched by him. If he's not dead, he'll be joining in soon.

Answer 7

I dont believe that you have been completly honest with us. You only paint one side of the story. The opposite of love is apathy, and it looks like you had to of stopped caring as well, becuase if you didnt, you would have not waited for the 6 year mark to vent your grievences. Its a sad thing to hear really, it really sounds like you have both fallen out of love. Its ok though, becuase you can take some steps to put the spark back into your relationship. Sit him down one night and have both of you write down lists of what you both want in your relationship. See how they correlate at all. Make a realistic plan of how you want to accomplish what you both want. It sounds to me like you two are not really operating like a team. I'm sure you beautiful, but telling you husband other guys want you, is not what he wants to hear. Your his woman, and if you plan to stick with him you can do him a favor and let him know what you really want. If he blows you off, then maybe its time to seek counseling.

Answer 8

Be thankful that he doesn't irritate the crap out of you for sex. Most women wish there men would get a hobby or something and leave them the *** alone. Why don't you get a hobby? Go shopping, spruce up the house, learn to cook, anything....just be nice to him and get over the whole sex thing, it's really not as important as you are making it out to be.

Answer 9

you seem to be married to a dead beat of a husband, i bet if you was to go with another guy that would soon get his attention. if he is like this after just six years what is he gonna be like after 10 or 20. if i was you i would get out now and get a guy that loves you and gives you the attention you deserve

Answer 10

It sounds like he lost interest in you. Sorry! I don't want to hurt your feelings. But if a man is constantly turning down sex then he is either getting it somewhere else or has a medical problem. I would start investigating where he goes who he is with does he come home after work? does he go out without you? does he work late a lot? You know what to look for.