I'm quitting smoking and my boyfriend says I'm a little on edge, but that it's normal. Is he a ****ing ****?

Question

Any help is appreciated. I'm in the middle of quitting smoking (in fact I've quit) and I could use some encouragement etc. My family aren't making it easier - my mother says it's ok if you control it (she just has one cigarette a day) and my sister is stressing me out which makes me want to smoke. My boyfriend's great but he's not with me at the moment. Any encouragement or ideas appreciated, thanks. :-)

btw - obviously I was joking about my bf being a ****ing ****. :-)

Thanks everyone - this is really helping. Keep it coming - It's working!

The craving passed! It can be done! That was a really long one - thank you everybody! I'll return to this page next time I get another difficult craving.
I don't know who to give "best answer" to - you all helped tremendously - I'll wait a while longer before deciding. :-)

Answer 1

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

I just quit a little over a week ago after smoking for 17 years. WOO HOO!! I was one of those "controlled" smokers, just like your mom. One pack would last me a week or two. But getting rid of that last one or two was so tough!! I would tackle the cravings twofold; I would pop a Jolly Rancher in my mouth to give my mouth something to do, and then find something that uses both hands to do, like housework or using my sewing machine. Sewing works especially well since it requires thinking, which takes my mind off my craving. Before I knew it, I had a nice new shirt, pants, or blanket, and the cravings disappeared. YES!!

By the way, thinking about the health benefits works for some people, but for me not thinking about it at ALL was the key. Just like when you try to get over a broken heart. You can either think of why you are better off, or you can just keep busy with other things. One day you'll realize there's still a small void, but you are a better person without it. (And yes, there will always be that void. My dad quit smoking after 40 years, and to his dying day he said he had the urge to pick up a smoke, but chose not to. I'm finding out what he meant. It takes a lot of willpower, but you're proud of yourself when you say "NO!") I wish you luck and Blessings

Answer 2

If he can't handle your smoking, why did he get with you in the first place? Yes, you should quit. But do it for you, when you are ready. Don't do it as part of an ultimatum. It will be harder for you to do it that way. It took eleven years for my sister to stop smoking. She quit about six times, but couldn't stop until she had her daughter. Take a closer look at your life with him. Is it just the smoking that angers him? Or are there other things too, but smoking is the one he hammers on the most? I just wonder if you do quit, if it will be enough to stop the disagreements, or will there be something else he will get angry about next. He knew you smoked going into the relationship. If he didn't want to be with someone who smoked, he should have passed you up and found a non-smoker. I always worry when someone starts wanting to change something about their partner when they knew the partner did this thing they hate when they first started dating them. I've seen relationships go really bad because of this type of thing. The person says change this one thing and everything will be okay. So the other person changes. Then it becomes something else that needs to change...and something else...and something else. Then you're only doing whatever the other person wants and everything revolves around that other person. So, I would say look closely at your relationship and see if smoking is the only issue he has. If it's not, maybe it would be better to get out of the relationship, whether you quit or not.

Answer 3

Ignore your mother; you know that even smoking one a day is bad for your lungs, teeth, heart, and skin.

I would call your area hospitals and your local Lung Association chapter to see if any of them offer free "Quit Smoking" programs - a lot of them do. Many of these programs include emotional support, and many of them offer The Patch (or other gizmos) for free.

Finally, you might want to consider asking your doctor for Zyban. It's a prescription drug (you've probably heard of it) that is also used as an antidepressant. For some reason, it's great at suppressing cravings for smoking; as a bonus, it's a nice mood lifter. I believe it's usually a six-week course of treatment. That ought to be enough to get you out of the habit, plus over the Nicotine addiction, without biting anybody's head off.

Good luck to you - gratzi on quitting. It's one of the worst addictions possible, in terms of difficulty in overcoming, and you've done most of the work already. Good job!

+doc

Answer 4

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quiting smoking is hard to do. I did it cold turkey twice and have been smoke free well over 14 years. I found that chewing gum and sucking on hard candy at those stressful times helps. When you have the urg pop a piece of candy/gum to take your mind off it. Nicotine is a drug and it will take time to get it out of your system and the "need to have it". You can do it! I have faith in you. As for your sister....walk away! Talk to your family let them know what you are going threw and that it is not easy. As for controling....cant say I agree because that one a day that your mom says she has.....cant say I believe her she is a closet smoker she does it when people arent looking I have a mother in law the same way. Your boyfriend is right you probably are a little on edge and about all you can do is appologize and ask him to bare with you. It will pass and quiting will payoff in the end.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

Imagine your black, scarred lungs turning pink after years of smoking.
Stand proud of your accomplishment, it isn't easy, I know, I tried a dozen times before I finally was sucsessful.
Do something you couldn't do while smoking like climb a long flight of stairs. While u were a smoker, you'd get winded, now you can do it with ease.
Congrats and keep up the good work!!!!!!

Answer 6

Thank you for taking the next step in your life. I know it's hard to stop but it's done. Being on edge is part of stop smoking. Just relax and chill, the urge will leave soon or late.

Answer 7

get a patch from the doctor, if your really smoking a lot like more than a pack a day ask him for a prescription for Wellbutrin. My guy smoked a lot and it took him 4 months with patch and Wellbutrin but he hasn't smoked in 7 years after that treatment.
(He couldn't do the cold turkey, nor just the patch alone, Wellbutrin takes the edge off).

Answer 8

Congrats! The info I have received is that you really have to want to quit for it to work, sounds like you do. They say that the urge to smoke hits you and lasts about 3 minutes, so think about something else, keep your mind busy on something else! I tried the patches, but they are still pumping nicotine into your blood, but it does help break the habit of it. Just remember, if you do slip and have one, think possitive, think about all the smokes you did not smoke to that point and keep going! Best of luck to ya!

Answer 9

You go girl!!!! I wished quit smoking cigs was aas easy as it was to start and get hooked. Amazing how that works...lol. But that good for you to quit. And if everyone whose smokes knows that you have the irritable stage, eating stage, and craving stage. I commend you on quitting. As hard as it is at first, it does get better. I am quitting myself. As of Sunday, I smoked my last cigs and going therough the motions today...lol.

Far as people saying something to you about it or not showing encourgemnt, ignore them......you quit for you and only you. Dont let anyone, including family, discourage you......You Go Gril!!!

Answer 10

ANYONE SHOULD EXPECT YOU TO BE ON EDGE. QUITING IS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS A PERSON CAN DO. HANG IN THERE AND DAY BY DAY THINGS WILL GET EASIER. YOU MADE A GREAT CHOICE AND ALL SHOULD SUPPORT YOU ON THIS. BEST OF LUCK, I AM STILL TRYING MYSELF...