i love my husband but he was abusive to me. I think he may have changed in the 3 months I've been gone but I'm in love with someone else now. Should I go back and try to make it work? We have 2 children who are living with him because I'm not financially able to support them He's a great father but was a bad husband. What should I do?
2007-02-06 00:40:21 · 15 answers · asked by liberty5499 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Amanda, you mention the word "think" which implies that you are not 100% certain that your husband has truly changed. If you are truly in love with this new person and he treats you with kindness and respect, then my advice would be to stay with your current love.
2007-02-06 00:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by Shauny B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i would not go back into an abusive relationship, not right now anyway. too soon to see if he has really changed. if the new man loves u, than go and get your kids, ask for child support, and move on in life. has the husband received any therapy, what do his actions say about him, if someone has changed it will show in his behavior. but it is easy to pretend to change just to get someone back, and once they are back u may see nothing much has changed after all. abusers seem to continue the abuse, because there is a problem with in themselves.
2007-02-06 00:51:16 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHAT - your husband was so abusive you had to leave BUT you left 2 children w him? Are you nuts. You have only been gone for 3 months and you are in love w someone already?
You think in 3 whole months he has changed?
What trailer park do you live in!
2007-02-06 00:48:05 · answer #3 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO Please don't do that.You out of a bad relationship stay out.I have been in this exact situation and did go back several times.They do not change .They can be good for along time and seem to have changed.But they don't and it only gets worse.
I am 40 now and have wasted so much of youth on a man who will never change.Put my kids through hell.And I promise it never ever gets better.
Go get some counseling and have them help you through this.Then look at the statistics on line.So many women have ended up dead in these situations.
Get your children out of there also.If you have to go to the state and get finical help.I pay my taxes and that's what it's there for.Even if he may never touch them physically.I will bet you he is already emotionally abusing them.there is so much help for single parents.They will even pay for you to go to school and get a degree so you can become independent for you and you children.
You have moved on and taken great steps already.You have someone to love and may have great life with.Don't go back to a dangerous situation and be miserable.Please Please don't.
And do whatever you can to get your children out and give them a happy safe place.
Be strong !! Be safe!! And save you children!!God bless!!
2007-02-06 01:14:37 · answer #4 · answered by gibbygirl38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me 3 months is not enough time to turn him around but then again who knows right?
Are u really in love with this new dude or is this just rebound? That is something you really want to think about.
Your husband changed his ways cos u are not living at home with him when u get there hmm I don't know girl, did he go to counselling abuse is a mental sickness, think about it like psychopath same way cannot control themselves. So he cannot just get better without proper treatment.
I know you want to do what is best for your kids but you want to make a reasonable decision not one influenced by a turn around.
Your husband ,may love you and it may not be his intention to harm you the problem is he cannot help himself (mental illness) and you cannot help him by yourself.
Good luck.
2007-02-06 19:34:07 · answer #5 · answered by I B lady O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a terrible parent and a horrible woman. In love after 3 months is funny. LEaving 2 kids with an abusive man is funny. Maybe u should just get on Maury and find out if the kids are really his.
2007-02-06 00:52:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but really hardly any guy overcomes abusive behavior unless it was caused by alcohol or drugs. When caused by alcohol or drugs when the person stops them then sometimes abusive behavior stops. It is rare!!! Be very cautious!!! Contact your local domestic violence center and talk with them about recidivisim in abusive situations. I understand your desire to be with your children but think its still really dangerous.
What makes you think he wont abuse your children? Do you have a daughter? He treats women poorly whats gonna happen when shes a woman? Get a job, get your kids back with you and dont look back!!
2007-02-06 00:49:08 · answer #7 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think your husband has changed? Has he proven any of this too you? Is he in classes to help with his anger?
I would not take him on his word alone. Sometimes you should try to salvage a relationship if you truely think the person is changed but if you doubt this already..then you probley need to move on.
As far as the relationship you are in now..if you consider leaving him for your ex then it is not as strong as it should be and you may reconsider it as well.
GOOD LUCK
2007-02-06 00:50:17 · answer #8 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you could fall in love with someone else then you can't be IN LOVE with your husband. First you have to think about the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. And there is lust for someone. When you sit down and think about it, take your time and really think about it, you will figure out who you are in love with and who you love. think hard this is a big decision.
2007-02-06 01:42:07 · answer #9 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother has always been involved with abusive men and I believe you should stay strong and stay away. He seems like he has change because you love him but he probably hasn't. and it is best for your children if you do not get back with him..,. It is really hard on children when thier mother is abused
2007-02-06 00:45:32 · answer #10 · answered by steffyjo5598 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋