I was orally raped at 15 by a boyfriend I had at the time....since I wasn't aware it was even rape (although I knew something wasn;t right) it happened a few times....now I'm 25 and hardly able to have sex with my fiancee....I just have no desire at at all.....and this goes for any man I dated since I was 15.
2007-02-05 23:57:29 · 7 answers · asked by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hon, you need professional help, of course you were victimize and now you have all this hidden feelings, you don't even understand.. If you don't seek help then you never going to find closure of what happend to you... and not being able to have sex is going to be a big issue once you get married.find help and take your fiancee with you for support and also he has to understand what is happening to you. Dont feel bad because of this, Is not your fault you just need some counseling and you will see how your life is going to change for the better.. do it for you and your future husband.. good luck hon, I feel your pain.
2007-02-06 00:09:38 · answer #1 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first i am an accountant not a therapist so anything i have to say is merely from personal experience opinion or from something i have read or talked about with others....and next that just bites about what has happened to u...i was molested as a small child and kinda went the other way with sex for a while and yes did spend a couple of years "self medicating" and then a cpl more in therapy during college while trying to get it all figured out....the fact that u want to find a livable solution says good things about your character so know that as well..... somehow sometimes in the victims mind there is guilt because sex and sexual things by nature feel good but if the victim does not know the whats ifs hows or whys they are still a victim, however there can be some undeserved guilt or anger at themselves because they did not stop it when it was happening, have u had any partners besides the turd and your fiance? were things different or relaxed at all with anyone, this one will b a hard question, but is it possible ur fiance does not fire ya up? i hate to ask but it should be looked at as welll, have u ever gotten fired up about someone since u were raped? can u talk to your fiance about this? if so he needs to know what is going on, and if u cant well thta is another issue all together, since u should be able to go to them with anything...and i would urge u to seek some kind of counseling or survivor grps for rape victims, there are free srevices all over the united way can usually give u info on about anyting one needs, it would probably be good for your fiance as well so that he can better know how to be supportive...i know some find therapy a cliche and as a christian i even knew of those in my church and family who did not think it a good thing, but i kept all this in mind while choosing a counselor, but i do think it certainly could help if nothing else just to clear some things out of your thoughts for a moment get em out look at em and be able to move beyond, i will be praying for you both...
2007-02-06 08:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by kay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was also a victim of rape but i was 6, women deal with it very differently and some even go through counseling.
I'm 39 and sometimes something will bring back bad memories that take me awhile to get past.
I think you should find someone to talk to about this.
There are many organizations that can help you Women Helping Women is a great one.
Ask your family doctor who they would recommend.
Good Luck........and it does get better....I Promise
2007-02-06 08:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, sorry to hear that. There is no doubt that your past experience has left negative marks on your mind, and sex is all in the minds! But it is also important to ordinary human being.
I would really seek professional help on this. At the age of 25, you should be in a peak stage of your sex life and get the real man who deserves you.
All the best!
2007-02-06 08:41:44 · answer #4 · answered by Ebby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Based on your experience, your reaction is very understandable. But to enjoy a full and happy life, you need to enjoy adult relationships. I would strongly encourage you to go to a therapy specialist. She can work through this with you and you will soon be able to discover the fun and intimacy that you have been missing. Find the right counselor and good luck!
2007-02-06 08:04:03 · answer #5 · answered by Isis 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
of course you'll have some issues maybe you should go to a concellor of some kind/ :) talk to your family dr about it and they should be able to find you someone to talk with..
that will probably help
2007-02-06 08:02:11 · answer #6 · answered by steph 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get help
2007-02-06 08:00:34 · answer #7 · answered by blu3_3y3d_bitc4 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋