i have just found out that i am pregnant again. when i told the father last night and he beat me up. i have cuts and bruses but im to scared to go to the police or to leave him. All i want to end my life help please what do i do ???
2007-02-05 23:46:38 · 13 answers · asked by Bipolar-Bird88 3 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Go to the police now ! You do not have to file the charges,the police will under the domestic violence laws which are under federal guidelines.DO NOT allow this to continue !It will be a pattern that will repeat itself over and over.If you don't do it right now,it WILL NOT STOP !You will find it more difficult to do it later and the abuse will continue.I am a National Registry EMT in a large city and I deal with domestic violence almost every day,trust me PLEASE when I tell you,PLEASE do something right now.
You have to summon up the courage,for you and the life that you carry,you now have someone else to be concerned about.What will happen if he hurts you to the point that it affects your baby??PLEASE,go or call the police now!They have female officers who are trained to help you with this,and they have help agencies that can help.Do not wait,I have seen the results of people who have not done anything about their situations and it is much worse than if they had done something right away.
God bless you...and good luck.
2007-02-06 00:01:34 · answer #1 · answered by 1st Responder FF/EMT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry! You need to go to the police. I know it is hard, but you have to do this. If you are scared of him coming after you, you can get a restraining order. You also need to take pictures of all the cuts and bruises.....please get away from this guy. He will only hurt you again....and next time, he may not just hurt you, he may kill you....please don't risk your life or your child's life.
BTW, when you go to the police, ask for a victim's advocate. The VA will be really helpful and supportive.
EDIT: I just read through some of your previous questions....you have been abused many times before, you were pregnant with twins, but you drank so much and between the alcohol and abuse you had a miscarriage. I think it is time for all of this to stop You need to leave him, and leave him for good. Don't go back to him. Also, you need to stop drinking alcohol. That will kill or severely disable your child because you are drinking early on in the child's development (particularly during the development of the neural tube)! If you can't stop drinking on your own, please go to rehab.
2007-02-06 08:05:05 · answer #2 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get out..
not only for your life but for the life of your unborn baby (that didn't ask to be brought into this world)
you said pregnant again-does this mean you are already raising a child? if so-think of the danger you are putting him/her in by exposing them to the abuse.
call the police and explain what is happening-they will help get you into a shelter where you are safe and set you up with medical care to help take care of you while you are pregnant and also provide medical care for the baby when it's born.
i have been in an abusive relationship before-i also stayed b/c i was scared of what he might do to me if i left and i was also scared that i couldn't make it on my own. i had two small children at the time from a previous marriage and a baby with him.
when he put me in the hospital the last time-i said enough. i couldn't expose my 3 daughters to it no longer-i didn't want them to grow up thinking that these were the type of relationships that they should be in.
i called the police-pressed charges and got out. it was hard and i was scared for a long time but i did it. i now have a really good job as a nurse in an icu, am living on my own, have a brand new car, and the abusive *sshole is gone for good-he served 2 years in jail, lost all rights to his daughter and i have a permanent restraining order against him.
don't ever doubt your inner strength-you CAN do this and you WILL make it. not only do you deserve it-but the little life that will bring you SO much joy later in life deserves it twice as much.
i'll pray for you and please get out
2007-02-06 07:59:27 · answer #3 · answered by prncessang228 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off if he beat you once he'll beat you again-GET OUT!!!!!
It's not just your life at stake, it's your unborn child's too. Get to a shelter for battered women and they will both protect you and help you figure out what is the right choice for you. If you have family, talk with them-you might be surprised at how much support they'll give you. I can't repeat this enough times GET OUT-and lose him. You and your child are worth so much more.
Suicide makes him the winner, and we all know he's the LOSER!
2007-02-06 07:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by sadsue 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Definitely go to the police. Don't end your life- live it well. You have a baby on the way and you dying is what will kill the little one. You MUST leave him- obviously he is abusive and uncaring. Please, for the sake of your baby, talk to someone you trust about this. This is not your fault- you did not know how he would react and it's his fault for not using a condom. He shouldn't be angry. You deserve a better life than the one you have- you and your baby. Tell someone about this and you will have a better life, I promise.
Good luck and God bless you and your baby.
2007-02-06 07:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by B. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness, baby girl you've got to get out of there real fast. The next he hits you, it may result in a miscarriage. Report his conduct to the authorities and go stay with your parents or a friend for a while. Your man is violent and violence does not match with love. Value your life first and God be with you.
2007-02-06 08:09:20 · answer #6 · answered by arabs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he goes to work or out of the house, u need to report this.
Call your Moma, brother or family member to get u and get a peace bond on this guy.
He will dearly have to pay u child support one day soon.
Dont let him get anymore of your powers.
Get away from this evil before it is too late.
God is with u , so keep a bible verse or a song, Jesus Loves Me.
In your mind.
This guy has no chance if u got the power of God in your mind.
GET OUT>>>>QUICK!
2007-02-06 07:50:57 · answer #7 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this guy is an @ss hole! a cowered and should be locked up
you need to get out of there it a very bad situation for you and your baby, do you have family that would be able to help you?
please don't do anything stupid. I really think you need to go to the police get this guy charged with assault. if you wont go to the police for yourself then do it for your baby.
i hope you do what right for you and your baby, take care kby.
2007-02-06 07:58:16 · answer #8 · answered by kennyboy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call your local battered women's shelter and tell them what happened. They'll help you leave, call the police and keep you safe while your case is in process. Please leave as soon as possible, there are other choices. Take a stand for yourself, your unborn child and children you have already. Starting over can't be nearly as scary as wondering when he'll flip his lid again.
Please leave.
2007-02-06 07:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by dakirk123 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are being serious because this is a very serious issue!
What it comes down to it is your choice and what your priorities are. I wont' tell you I understand what you have been going through but you are very brave. Let me try step by step okay?
1. Figure out if you want this child - this is YOUR choice to make. Don't let anything else influence you. What do you want?
2. Do you want to risk your children living with someone like your partner. There is a lot of evidence and a lot more research being done on the effects of living in a domestic violence household on children. Do you want to live like this and put your children's life and well-being at risk? This is a very difficult decision as majority of women in DV homes and relationships stay with the partner.
What a lot of women don't realise is that there are a lot of services out there to help them through this however, they are too scared. The ones who stop living this way of life find a better future not only for themselves but for their children too.
3. What do you want to do if you want to leave? Prepare and make plans carefully when you want to leave. Tell friends or family whats happening and what you are doing. Contact crisis centers where they can make arrangements for you to meet all your needs - not just physically, but psychologically and emotionally.
Has your partner done this to you before? If this is the first time i would be pretty wary on the next time because usually there will be a next time. In the end, it doesn't matter how many times he has done it and afterwards how many times he has said sorry - he does NOT have the right to hurt you no matter what the reason was/is. No one should ever be treated in that way at all.
4. One last thing i would like to point out is that his actions is not your fault. You did not make him behave the way he did. He has sole control of his behavior and actions. He has A LOT of emotional pain. Unfortunately for some people - they need to take it out on someone else. Bullies are weak - they are emotionally scared and needy. But they don't want to show that - they want to look strong so what do they do? They make another person feel like they are helpless so they need them. Its about power and influence. So they will constantly belittle you and treat you like you're nothing, making you feel vulnerable.
You need a a lot of help - but that help isn't far away at all. Where ever you live - you need to look up a Women's crisis center or contact one to give you advice on what to do, and if you have family and friends - make sure they know! You should not feel bad at all for being in the situation you are in. No one is perfect in this world. Your partner needs help and you do too but you have to think about yourself and your children first. If he wants to change than that is up to him but until than - protect your health and that of your children.
There is so much to say and do but its impossible to tell you all of it. right now you have to make some careful choices. Stay calm, prepare and plan carefully! Take a good look at the sites i've given you. You need to stay focused. I just read the past questions and you have gone through a lot! I don't know whether to believe you or not! Why go through all this pain? Don't you deserve better than this? Don't you know you are worth all the happiness in the world. This man can't give it to you - he won't give it to you. If you stay with him return to your 'old' life, drink and put terrible strain on your body - thats not living at all! You have to realise that suicide is not the answer to your problems. The people in your life love you and you'll cause so much pain for them because it won't be a better place if you leave. It'll be the total opposite. You've been dealing with a lot of chronic health problems and you need to seek help for it as soon as possible. Remain positive.
good luck, i hope i helped a little. i pray you make a decision that will bring great benefit for you and your children. Life is too precious. You're strong enough to get through this.
2007-02-06 08:28:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋