i have a family member who steals and lies. she has stolen so many things from me, including a camcorder which was very expensive. and she also lies. they are stupid lies that dont make sense. she pretends she knows things she doesnt. she pretends she has done things she hasnt. and she makes up stories. blatantly and to my face. she does it to a lot of people. i was just wondering if someone could give me insight into why she does this? if you do this, why do you do it? i have never been able to understand it. it is insulting and confusing. not to mention do stealers even realize how upsetting it is when they steal? do they even have a heart? and no she is not on drugs, so i dont understand it? thanks for any help.
2007-02-05 22:48:10 · 7 answers · asked by wcarolinew 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Most times it an attention seeking behavior. In stealing they don;t do it to posses the item so much but it represents a part of the person they would like to be.
The lies although blatant are a bolster to their feelings of inadequasy in the company they are in. They lie to get attention even when they know they may get caught out it provides a temporaty feeling of belonging or being involved.
I presume this is a younger sibling. I bet she lives or feels she lives in your shadow and that you get more attention than she feels you should. She feels somewhat an outsider to those closest to her.
2007-02-05 23:01:44 · answer #1 · answered by Shelty K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Low self esteem is nearly always the culprit here.
Is she praised for the GOOD things she does?
Everyone has good points.
Does she feel like the 'odd one out' in her social/family circle?
If so, she needs to be included more.
But often, it's simply the influences a person receives from their peers. (I speak from personal experience).
I was a nightmare for my parents from 11 to 13 years old.
My environment changed, as did my circle of friends who were at the other end of the moral scale. It took me no time at all to realise which way I wanted to go, and I've not looked back since with any regret. Infact, I shudder to think how life WOULD have been had I stayed with my original peer group.
There again, some people are just SO stubborn, there simply is NO helping them, and you have to banish them from your life, or be drawn into their living hell with them.
Good luck, Pete.
2007-02-05 23:09:26 · answer #2 · answered by Peter M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will keep doing it as long as she is not held accountable for her actions. She is obviously driven by a personality disorder and low self-esteem. Lay down the law to her, keep on her back and consider telling an adult if you are under 16. It's a big, unforgiving world out there and jails are full of people just like her. She needs help NOW.
2007-02-05 23:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by Wendy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since it's not drugs in this case, then I'd say it could be mental illness (seriously). Lying and stealing generally support the ego--the self. It could manifest as envy, jealousy, feelings of inferiority, rivalry, etc. I think you need to lock up your stuff, and not support in any way these behaviours. That means next time a theft occurs, you report it to the police. Without understanding consequences for actions, I think they will continue. Good luck.
2007-02-05 22:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to get her help. i had that same problem once and i got myself help. i Hated doing what i did. i checked myself into rehab. i thank GOD for hepling my and the people at the rehab.
2007-02-05 22:52:43 · answer #5 · answered by Dr Universe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a mental problem and needs help!
2007-02-05 22:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe she wants attention. is she lonely ?you should tell her she is wrong if she doesn't listen threaten her!
2007-02-05 22:55:00 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋