My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years. She is 19 and I am 22 though we are young we have talked about marriage and I really love her. Now she and I go to school on diffrent sides of the country. It is her 7th week in school and she has been dating a guy out there she has even kissed him a couple times. I told her to date while she was out there but im still having a hard time with this. I go out and see her in 10 days after i leave she will only have like 4 more weeks of school left. Im trying to be ok with her seeing this other guy I know she and I are young. So pretty much If I make a big deal we will break up and she will date away. But I love her and im trying to let her date and find her self. Is what I am doing a Bad idea? She still talks to me every night and say she loves me and I am the one she wants to be with but she feels like she need space and wants to date. I love her so im gonna just wait it out I guess, Is this normal am I doing right.
2007-02-05 20:47:28 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If she loved you, she wouldn't date others.
2007-02-05 20:51:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! What you're doing is obviously giving her out! Though you only did it because you really love her right? But you don't have to be a fool. Even if you're both apart for a long time doesn't mean you have to bend the rules a little. If you truly love her, make her just yours, and only yours, though you're apart. It's how a relationship should be right? If you tell her that she can date guys in her school, but then tells you that she loves you over the phone... it might not be for long that she might find another guy. Think of the possibilities! Love doesn't mean you have to give everything if the result is harmful for the relationship... it's also about saving the relationship by any means. So it doesn't matter if she's that young. She's your girlfriend, and you're her boyfriend. It's as simple as that.
2007-02-06 05:11:36 · answer #2 · answered by sheer♥black 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i disagree with what you're doing because if she needs space and wants to find herself she is not ready for a one on one commitment. neither are you. i can see you wanting to hold on to what you two have had, but long distance relationships are tricky. you will resent her dating other people and it will cause a riff in the end. break it off and once she is done with school pick it back up again...if she is willing. have you been seeing anyone? if so do you think you can just stop seeing these other people? she needs space and you need/want to be with her. the relationship is lopsided. don't give her an ultimatum...just move on and don't agree to what you don't want. if the love was that mature neither one of you, would want to share the other. you are young and there is no hurry for a commitment to an exclusive relationship or marriage at this point. slow down and take some space for yourself and you might find out she's not what you want at this point in your life. don't become obsessed...there is always someone out there for you. my rule is; not to make someone a priority in my life and i'm just an option in theirs. it has to be level ground or someone is always off balance.
2007-02-06 05:17:59 · answer #3 · answered by formerlylunesta@yahoo.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a tough spot. As long as she's seeing other guys you're going to be wondering if she likes them better than she likes you or doubt whether you're good enough for her. If you really do want to let her see other people then you need to find a way to be ok with it. If you can't be ok with it then you need to let her know that you thought you could deal with it but you realize now you can't. Either way you go you have to let the chips fall where they may.
But I do think you are making a major mistake on two counts. You are going to drive yourself nuts with self doubt, doubt in her, and doubt in your relationship. At the same time, you are taking this on for a woman who obviously isn't as deeply committed to your relationship as you are. If she was committed and was totally honest about you being the one she wants then she wouldn't be out with other guys. It's really that simple.
If I was in your situation I would do one of two things. I would ask her to make the commitment to you and if she can't then I would call it off. Either way you're going to hurt.
2007-02-06 05:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's saying she needs space but she still loves you, but yet she is dating someone else. If she really loves you then she wouldn't need space. It's just a cop out to sleep with someone else and not feel guilty for doing it. Unfortunatly, you're allowing her to make herself feel better for cheating on you. She isn't worth the worry. She obviously doesn't love you enough to keep it in her pants.
2007-02-06 05:39:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she loves you and you are the one she wants to be with, then y is she dating someone else? am so sorry cuz it is apparent that you love her alot. she does not feel the same for you. i so respect that you are giving her space, but she is taking advantage of your sweetness. i really dont know what the right answer is, but from my experience i think she has already broken your heart. if i were in your situation, i would end it.
2007-02-06 04:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by braille 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're talking about marriage, but she still needs to date? This doesn't add up. One of these two is not true. She needs to decide which it's going to be and you need to ask her to decide which one it will be.
2007-02-06 04:51:07 · answer #7 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet she is bonking him too. Listen carefully... save your pride and end it until she decides what she wants. If you really the one she wants she wont date other people and she will be faithful to you. Do you really wanna marry someone you know cheated on you and you condoned it????
2007-02-06 04:58:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋