how do i learn to love myself?i have very low self esteem?

Question

i am 16.i just hate my self.i always keep on insulting myself.and feel really bad if someone dosent talk to me properly.i always blame my self.i also dont want to live.

Answer 1

Well you have spent so long talking negatively to yourself that being able to tell yourself nice things and actually believe it is going to be a bit of a process. You have to re-train your way of thinking. This is worth it, because it doesnt matter how many nice things anyone tells you, it will never mean anything to you unless you believe it about yourself.

I know how hard this can be because i used to suffer from the most horrible self-esteem. No matter how much people told me i was pretty, no matter how much attention i got, no matter how much people told me i was smart, i would never believe it. But it is very very important to reverse this way of thinking.

Here are some tips that worked for me.

For every negative idea that pops in your head about yourself, make yourself find 10 positive things to say about yourself. No matter how long it takes for you to find those positive things, or even if you dont really believe them in the beginging, still do it!

Also, every single time you hear a compliment about yourself or you catch yourself thinking something nice about yourself or you accomplish something, write it down, and put those pieces of paper in a jar. Every time you feel down about yourself, go through that jar.

One thing my aunt told me to do, is it write down every single thing that you find wrong with yourself. Now take out another piece of paper and write down the OPPOSITE of all those things. ex. if you believe you are ugly, write down on the other paper i am beautiful. Take the paper with the negatives to a body of water, read it, tear it up, throw it into the water, and visulize all your negative thoughts flowing away with the water. For the next few weeks, read that paper with the postitives to yourself at least 3 times a day. DO NOT correct yourself when you read it. Read it as a fact. No matter how much your brain tells yourself it is not true, just read the sentance even more forefully.

When anyone gives you a compliment, do not make excuses for it, or reject it. Just say thank you. After awhile of not making negative comments back, you will be able to start accepting those comments and then believing them.

Theres a difference between modesty, self decepating humor and constanly putting yourself down. STOP putting yourself down in front of others. sometimes we are quick to make fun of ourselves so that other people dont, but NEVER DO IT AGAIN. this just reinforces negative opinions about yourself and it just makes others see those negative things that they probably never even noticed.

surrond yourself with positive people who love life. limit time with friends who self-bash constanly.

Learning to love and accept yourself if a life long struggle. the longer you continue with telling yourself negative things, the more you will have to stuggle with reversing it later. The most valuable relationship you will ever have with anyone is with yourself. You will be with yourself your whole life and you will have to live with all the decisons you make. So really try these tips and try to learn to accept yourself for who you are.

Good luck!

Answer 2

dear..plz dun ever insult urself...if u dun have the confidence in u, who else can give you? think again, y people doesn't talk to u properly? do u always listen to them properly? u must learn how to love urself in order to love others and let others to love u too..the method is from today onwards tell urself that u r good and u love urself...

Answer 3

dont look on your weaknesses instead know your expertise and try to develop your skills... don't compare yourself to the people which you know they are above ...compare yourself to the lower ones... but dont criticize them ok! and try to find help from your friends

Answer 4

hey shibz i feel the same n need sum help.. hw cn u change ur mind n feelings? it doesnt work..