Do most gay People get depressed when they first Come Out??

Question

Hey, I've recently come out to my family and friends. I have all the support in the world, but I still feel really down at times. I know it's depression, and I've heard that this is completely normal when you first come out for some. I wanna hear what more experienced gays, or just anyone has to say about it.

Answer 1

I've noticed that most gays and lesbians suffer from depression. I am guessing that seeing being gay is biological and depression is chemical there might be a correlation there. I've been out for years, have a great girlfriend, and have support from everyone but yet I still get depressed. I suffered from depression before coming out as well. It's just something that I accept and tell myself that tomorrow is a new day. Good luck.

Answer 2

Don't listen to Frogmama, she's talking rubbish. Anyway, humans are a very social species and it's programmed into us to want to fit into a group i.e. our society. But then, what if society rejects you? Many animals get sad when they're alone, and humans, well most humans, are just the same. People often come around when they realise that just because society or a particular group says something is right, or the norm, it doesn't necessarily mean it is.

So I surpose that many people do get depressed about being gay at some point, but often before they come out instead of after because once they do and their friends and family do accept them, they know they don't have to be so afraid about it.

Answer 3

Sounds like you do not have a strong support system yet and I suspect that right now you are lonely as there is no one special in your life. When you find your partner, I believe that will change in a hurry. There are probably a lot fo things happening in your life right now that are slightly overwhelming and you need some time to digest all the changes. If you have a therapist or special someone you can confide in, go talk to them ASAP. I would guess that you also had a lot of fear of the unknown til you came out and probably some depression at that time as well.

Answer 4

I never felt the need to be so dramatic as to come out from anywhere. I've been here as long as I've been alive and for as long as I'm alive I owe no one an explanation of anything. I simply live my life as I see fit and on the few occasions that people have asked me my orientation I've been honest by saying I'm gay, I always have been, I see no need to wear it on my sleeve, I feel that what I do in my private life is my business, and so on. I don't see any straight people making some gandiose statement shouting out for all their family, friends, and coworkers I'M HERE, I'M STRAIGHT, LOVE ME FOR IT.
Do people know I'm gay? I could care less. To anyone who has known my guy and I for more than a day or two it either becomes obvious to them or a non-issue. I've never had time to wallow in some sort of pity party about who I am. If people have a problem with it, then my feeling on the matter is, the problem is yours, you don't want to make it my problem. Have I surprised a few people who have known me for years when then finally find out? Yes. When asked why I didn't tell them, I always reply, you never told me you were straight, why the hell is my orientatin any of your business?
I hope this helps.

Answer 5

Maybe it was just such a big build up , now all the adrelaline has stopped rushing around and reality is setting in...

I came out 6 months ago to my family, my child and all i can say is it is the best thing i have EVER EVER done...

I am happy, lost a few friends through ignorance but hey friends like that i can do without anyway...

So maybe it's just everyday s**t that is to blame not the fact your gay....

Take care

Answer 6

No, I did not get depressed from coming out. It was like a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders, but, I did have the support of friends and family and suffered no retribution by my decision. Each person's experience will be different though.

Answer 7

For some it is normal, even though they have the support from family and friends they need. They sometimes realize that they have taken the ultimate step in informing friends and family, but now need someone to be with.

Answer 8

It is normal. Unfortunately not everyone gets support when they first come out and that has alot to do with the depression they feel. Another part is there are alot of people out there that are narrow-minded and feel that it is their duty to tell you that your wrong for being you and feeling the way that you do.

Everyone is different. You need to figure out what it is that makes you feel this way.

Answer 9

Nope, I was finally happy. Even though my parents threw me out of the house, the rest of my family never spoke to me again and most of my friends dropped me. I was still happy. I was free to be myself and I got to choose my own 'family'; people who loved and cared for ME not who they thought I should be.
It was extremely difficult at first, I went through some really nasty stuff, but being free was worth every minute of suffering.

Answer 10

I don't think your depressed because you came out....It might be that its a whole new world for you .I think whatever feelings they are will pass,however ,it might me that you are already depressed and the only reason you can think of is that your gay....remember people are depressed in a lot of different situations....

remember ...you are normal ...dont let any bible thumpers tell you any different.....I used to be one...