My friend is being completely ignored by her husband. she is very sweet and very pretty, but he works and then gets on warcraft all day and night Im not even joking. he is on it all day. He wont involve himself with her or the kids. and he even falls asleep with the head phones still on. He is also very greedy with any money and wont work only 3 days a week. he is addicted. she has to waitress full time to support him. she cries everyday. Is this grounds for divorce? I keep telling her to try because of kids.
2007-02-05 20:15:30 · 15 answers · asked by siayae 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only the people in the marriage can know what is a reason to get a divorce.
Some people care about one another and just don't act like it. Some married people settle into a thing that is about as far from romantic as it could be; but they're ok with it.
If your friend gets to the point where she is sick of the situation and can't stand it any longer she'll decide to get a divorce. Very often, people stay for quite a while because they keep thinking things may get better and don't want to end a marriage "prematurely". After putting up with it for a long enough time, though, it can get to the point where it is clear it won't get better; and someone then asks, "Is this what I want to spend my one life doing?" Sometimes, too, something happens and the situation is clearly worse than ever; and that makes someone decide to get a divorce.
Children are better off in whatever environment is most healthy. If parents have a rotten marriage, but somehow manage to hide that from the kids there's a chance the kids are just fine with how things are. If there's a lot of fighting between the parents then it isn't healthy.
For the most part, people do what they think is right for them at the time. If your friends decides its right to leave then that's what she'll do. I don't think you should offer opinions to her about what she should do.
There is some reason she is not leaving, and it could be a good one.
2007-02-05 20:30:56 · answer #1 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others
2007-02-05 22:10:05 · answer #2 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tekk her to read the books The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and For Better or For Best by Gary Smalley. (these 2 books saved my marriage) If she then has done everything that she knows how to do and even suggests counseling and he still refuses then yes she should get a divorce. No one needs to be treated like that. As for the kids-well I think they would much rather see their mother happy than in tears everyday. I am totally against divorce too but she have to do whats best for her kids. She doesn't want them to have relationships like this when they get older. They will think that this is the way a relationship is supossed to be because they were raised in a home where neglect was ok growing up and if mommy did it then it must be ok. I pray for the best for your friend and her kids.
2007-02-05 20:27:59 · answer #3 · answered by sasy_tabby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wholeheartedly accept as true with Jennifer ok - "each and every from time to time he's dazzling" does no longer shrink it even as he's a paedophile and an abusive and violent man or woman. If he's regarded at it once he will seem at it again, so have a computing device interior the domicile and ensure he has your time on my own on it - the police can detect deleted textile so no matter if you may't locate some thing they could be in a position of. As for the banging on the door etc - it really isn't any longer in common words abusive that is pathetically infantile. you're extra perfect than this guy, and that i imagine he's utilising his time in Iraq as an excuse, that isn't any longer the clarification. Plan an get away, ensure you've someplace to flow that he can't locate you, and take your son remote from this poor project. you do not pick him as a position form on your son, it truly is how cycles of abuse commence, over 1/2 of little ones who're or witness abuse will flow on to do it themselves, and that i comprehend you does no longer pick that destiny on your son. flow to the docs about your topics, and element out they could be because your husband has hit you around the pinnacle a pair of cases. you'd be in a position of get help there. continually keep in recommendations you're interior the right, and see your marriage to him as some thing to study from, no longer some thing to submit with. also, only to inform you, the violence under no circumstances receives extra perfect. no count what percentage cases someone says they'll end, they received't = that is like little ones, in the experience that they destroy out with some thing once they'll attempt it again - there'll continually be yet an additional reason, drink, a foul day, they suspected you of dishonest - yet in very truth that is THEIR difficulty - no longer YOUR duty!!!!! sturdy luck, i wish you're ok.
2016-11-25 19:45:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get a back bone and tell that man of hers he best get him a real job and help support these kids. If he has time to play stupid games, he has time to work full time. And what's up with this being greedy with his money? If he cannot comply, she needs to boot him out and let him know this is unacceptable, her kids come first and he can screw his warcraft game. She needs to let anyone that does not agree with her know they are more than welcome to take her lazy greedy immature husband in.
2007-02-05 20:39:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in the state there really is no need to say why you want to get divorced. You just file papers and if need be go in front of a judge.
He could be a king or like you say a pain in the butt, if she wants to divorce him then she can, with out a reason.
2007-02-05 20:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he doesn't understand the word responsibility. I say get the divorce. It might open up his eyes a little because on his end he will have to pay child support. Otherwise you can take your chances with a marriage counselor.
2007-02-05 20:34:51 · answer #7 · answered by Soggy Waffles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you want your friend to be happy?
Yes of course this is grounds for divorce, she isn't happy and he isn't giving anything toward the relationship and raising the children. The children deserve love and attention, not the cold shoulder.
2007-02-05 20:38:21 · answer #8 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grounds for divorce vary from state to state. Certainly, he's not holding up his end of the stick.
She should at least try to get him into marriage counseling.
2007-02-05 20:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend and her husband needs marriage counseling and help for the marriage. Why doesnt she sit down and play the game with him someday. She needs counseling for herself to learn how to deal with this and with him. No i do not feel that divorce is the answer here. Also have her go to http://www.drphil.com and email them and see what kind of help and advice they have to offer her there.
2007-02-05 21:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋